The Thoughts For Fear Of Life and Death Ultimatum

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Written by
2 years ago

April 26, 2021

Humans have given an ultimatum when they are born in this world. And life is just borrowed so we have to return it once we reached our ultimatum. Just like any product, life also has an expiration. But in products, we can tell when is the exact expiration date unlike the ultimatum of human life. We don't know when will be our end, it can be today, tomorrow, or the next day.

I am writing this article because a question suddenly pops out in my mind after seeing a photo online. A photo of someone lying inside his cold casket in which we can tell that he has reached his ultimatum. But what caught my attention are the people, perhaps, the loved ones and relatives of the deceased person wailing around the cold casket.

Then I have asked myself, a question that I never thought of before. "We are happy to see a newborn baby, we welcome them with a smile. We always celebrate our birthday, and people will greet us happily. BUT, why can't we give a smiley goodbye to the dead?"

I can't upload the exact photo since it's inappropriate so I just used this cartoon illustration

See? It's a question that you won't think of as well, or maybe some thought about it.

Why can't we give a smiley goodbye to the dead?

Why do people cry when sending a dead to his last destination?

We cry because we are sad. We cry because we can't accept the death of the certain person, especially if he/she has been part of our life. We cry mostly because we are afraid to die.

I remember when I was in primary five when our little brother died due to unknown sickness. I have been his babysitter and what's more painful was the moment he died was just a few weeks before his first birthday.

I cried when he was sent to the hospital that afternoon. And I was sad because I can't go with them as I need to take care of my little siblings. The next day the have returned and it was my uncle who was holding him with a white towel covered on his body.

I was so glad to see them coming and I was excited to see his face. Then I realized something was wrong when I saw my mother crying behind my uncle. I slowly walk towards my brother and found him unconscious and not breathing. His pale face and bruised body shut my mouth in a while as it was my first time to see a dead body.

The tears of grief started to fall and I was literally crying like a small kid. "Mama, mama, what happen?" I kept on asking my mother but no one answered me. I saw bruises on my brother's body, and marks of injections and dextrose sites were found on his wrists, feet, and even on his head. As a kid, I thought like he has been salvage in the hospital. No one cared to answer me as the house gradually filled with grief and sorrow. Later at night I got the answers to my questions.

My brother suffered from what they called "disapila" (I forgot the English and Tagalog term). It is something like a sickness that has no treatment and big dark spots will come out once the person is already dead. Even the doctors were not able to save him.

The process of embalming just took place at home. When I saw a container of blood, fear shivered down my spine while imagining how the process was done. A curious kid with lots of unanswered questions became uncomfortable and that night, the face of my dead brother and the blood lingers in my mind and it kept me awake the whole night.

When I grew up, I learned how the embalming process is done. Then I told myself that when I die, I don't want to be embalmed because I don't want those people to re-murder my dead naked body.

From that moment, I avoided seeing the faces of dead people anymore as I can't easily erase them in my mind. I watch horror movies, killing, thrilling, but those are just fiction movies so I can manage to erase them in my mind.

Then every time I'm attending a wake, I always ask myself, "am I ready to die?" Will people cry as well when I die?"

Many people are ready to face their faith, but many are afraid as well to step foot on their last destination.

However, this world is a perilous place and unsafe to live in, and we humans are not immortal. If today is my day, you don't know, tomorrow might be yours. This is what the line meant, "you only live once, so live your life at its best." Because we don't know when our life ultimatum will take place.

But what I am afraid of is not my death, but the people I will leave behind once I cross the bridge of life. I am not afraid to die, but I am not ready yet to face my ultimatum.

My goals aren't reached yet. I am still in the process and not halfway there.

My dreams are still floating in space and I still need to catch them.

My family is still waiting and I still need to go back home.

We fear death probably because of the pain, we fear if it will be prolonged and reduce the quality of life, and we fear the loneliness of dying.

We fear death because it will end our meaningful life. We fear death because we won't be able to complete our life's projects. We see it as an obstacle to our goal and a sign of failure.

We fear the non-existence and the unknown after death. "Will we go heaven, or to hell?" That is always our question.

We feel fear because it is normal, it's human emotion.

And to accept death, we should be prepared. But for me, I am not ready yet, although I need to.

How about you? Why do you cry when sending someone to his/her last destination? Are you ready to die?

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2 years ago

Comments

I'm not ready to die yet because I know I might go to hell, and the thought of it scares me most. So hopefully, God will give me more time first.

And sorry about your brother. While reading this, I got teary-eyed because it's not easy to see the person you loved on that kind of situation. In my case, I cry because I know I will never see them again.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Hell tlga? 😅 kya nga, sana bigyan pa more time pra itama mga pagkakamali, at ipursue mga gusto sa buhay

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2 years ago

Kaya nga e.. minsan iniisip ko pa lang, nakakakaba na..

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2 years ago

I am feeling sorry that your brother died a painful and premature death. As for myself, i never cried for someones death and I promised myself I will say good bye to any of my family members with a happy and normal face. We know it's unavoidable and it's our final destiny of the worldly life. He/ she had time and now it's time to go. I always myself I am prepare now. And also told my family to be prepared if anything bad happens to me

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Have you never cried? You're a tough man..

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2 years ago

I have cried in other occassions, but not on someone's death. Generally I try to cry but tears don't come out🤣🤣

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2 years ago

Sorry about your brother 😭, he's so young when he die 😭. Ako ayaw ko na ulit mamatayan, gusto ko pati ako ang mauuna kesa sa mga kaanak ko. Hindi naman ako takot mamatay kasi doon naman talaga lahat ang punta natin. And kinakatakot ko lang ay yong kung paano ako mamamatay 😣. Ayaw ko mamatay sa aksidente oag namatau ako gusto konh mahugutan lang ng hininga tas un na. Ayaw kong mag sufer tas nakikita ng mga mahal ko sa buhay, maiba yun 😭🤧

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2 years ago

Huhu. Ayoko dn mamatay yung masasaktan ako.. Gaya sa accidents or kung ano pa.. Gusto ko yung mamatay dahil sa katandaan..

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2 years ago

Pwd rin, wag lang sana ung mamatay dahil naaksidente. Maiba ung ganon 😵

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2 years ago

must have been a terrifying experience, especially since you witnessed that while you were still a kid ;;-;; i think? I'm ready to die though. kind of seems easier to than to strive. but meh, i just haven't found a better reason to try to fear death

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2 years ago

Am not afraid to die, but not ready yet.. You know the bags of responsibilities on my shoulders..

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2 years ago

true, di pa ata ganun ka independent yung mga siblings mo kaya nakakatakot din iwan, no ;;-;;

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2 years ago

Dami pa maliliit 😢

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2 years ago

yun lang OnO wawa sila pag nawala ka

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2 years ago

Nakakaiyak story mo with your brother, I know it still leaves pain while you're writing this. Hugs**

$ 0.05
2 years ago

It is. Kahit ng sinukat ko to naiiyak dn ako 😢

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2 years ago

Death is something one should not be afraid of. But the most fearsome thing is when u are on your death bed and regretting that you could have done things differently..... This will waste your whole life that u lived.

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2 years ago

Ito pala yung tinutukoy mo na article madam. Sorry about your brother 💔😞

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2 years ago

Nope.. Bukas na article 😅

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2 years ago

Ay, sorry sorry. 😅

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2 years ago

Death. Maybe that's one reason I have been too anxious. I fear death 'coz my kids are still very young.. I fear it b' coz I have a lot of plans in life.. For my family's future and when I get panic attacks everything in the future is like a blank space.. You can't see it clearly.. But it's normal mine is just too much but i know it's normal to feel scared of death.. And when it happens I pray.

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2 years ago

I guess we all have fear of death..d tlga maiiwasan kc normal sa tao yan

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2 years ago

I dunno why I cried but the first thing comes to my mind is that, iniisip ko yung sakit na nararamdaman nung naiwan yung pakiramdam ko kasi nasasaktan siya ng sobra. The, madalas after malibing nung namatay, iniisip ko kawawa naman siya kasi naiwan na siya mag isa sa sementeryo though wala ng spirit pero yun lagi nasa isip ko .

Before, I was really afraid na mamatay until now naman pero mas open na ko sa mga bagay na ganun pero ayoko pa din naman na mamatay kasi madami pa din ako gusto gawin for myself at family ko.

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2 years ago

Me too.. Mas afraid ako sa magiging kalagayan ng mga maiiwan ko 😢

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2 years ago

Tanging nais ko lang bago ko pumanaw eh matuwad ko kagustuhan ng parents ko esp. my mother.

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2 years ago

I never feel scared of death coz i knew one day I've to left this world and my good and bad deeds will left with me only and it's scare me

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2 years ago

It's really scary. But we all need to accept it

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2 years ago

Matagal ko na tong naisisip. Pag tayo namatay, will we still have our consciousness? I mean, ano na next pagkatapos natin mamuhay sa mundo?

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2 years ago

Ano sa tingin mo? Am even asking, totoo kya yung judgement day? May mapupunta b tlga sa impyerno at sa langit?

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2 years ago

Recently andami qng nkikita sa fb na black profile pic with or without candle. Naturally, we feel sad for them especially qng kakilala at bata pa. Pro ako, takot aqng mamatay d pra sa akin kundi sa mga anak q. D pa sila malalaki to face the world alone. Daming what if's..

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2 years ago

Same.. Takot akong iwa pamilya ko lalo na mama ko.. Naiimagine ko lng life nla kung mawala ako 😢

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2 years ago