If you are disrespected, set limits and protect yourself from aggressions (direct or indirect). We have not come to this world to endure aggressions (however veiled they may be), and even less so when we have done nothing to deserve them. We cannot control everyone's behavior, but we can learn to establish limits and consequences when someone crosses them. We have come to normalize disrespect as something that is part, above all, of power relationships. As if it were a tolerable basis in relationships between people at different levels of a hierarchy. We excuse ourselves and others. "Well... he's your boss, you just have to put up with it", "don't expect to be treated well if you are new to the job" and so on and so forth.
In this sense, the line between what is tolerable and what is intolerable has become blurred, as if it were a pencil line over which we have repeatedly passed our finger. On the other hand, everyone has the ability and the obligation to set their own limits. What is true, however, is that on many occasions we often find ourselves doubting whether something has gone beyond the limits of respect in a relationship. It is therefore essential to be clear about what we will and will not tolerate in a relationship. With our friends, with acquaintances, with co-workers, with family. Let us make an effort to listen to our body's signals when someone is overstepping the boundary. When respect for us is being violated, our body is wise and will always warn us about it.
I believe that in human relationships no one is superior to anyone else. We are all different and perform different activities, but no one is "humanly superior" to anyone. Therefore, if we allow someone to harm or hurt us, we should not think that superiority is a valid reason. By this rule of three all people "superior" to us have the right to hurt and harm us. If no one is superior to anyone else, then perhaps it is good for you to consider to what extent you are giving that power to YOURSELF. That power that someone else does not have to begin with. We find ourselves giving power to certain people to hurt us, and make us feel bad. This is achieved by assuming their disrespect as something natural, as something we allow them to do. As something we let them do.
In the same vein, there are many ways in which we allow others to overstep the mark and in which we send them signals to "invite" them to do so. For example, when someone has made us feel very uncomfortable with a comment about us. Instead of making it known, we keep quiet and silence it. We keep it in our particular backpack of stored grudges. Thus, we turn their disrespect into poison for us. At the same time, by condoning a behavior we send a clear message to the other: in the future we are likely to condone it again. In a way it is as if we were indirectly saying "you can disrespect me if you want to, I let you do it". Another reason we keep quiet is because we feel so awkward being assertive.
In conclusion, we tread so lightly in this area that our message of censure for the observed behavior is often very unclear. It's okay, with practice you will learn, the important thing is that you put yourself to it. Even if putting up with disrespect at a certain moment is a matter of "survival", it does not mean that the vast majority of them are. If someone is disrespecting us frequently, we have to ask ourselves if we are "accepting" it in order to "survive" or because we are not able to set our limits and we do not value or love ourselves enough. You can do a lot to reclaim your boundaries and show them authentically when you feel they are being violated. It's certainly a challenge, and it takes some effort if you're not used to doing it.
Do you let them disrespect you or do you set a limit?
Disclaimer: I would like to let you know that English is not my mother tongue, I may even make some mistakes in the elaboration of sentences in my posts. Feel free to correct me attentively. It will help me in my learning process.
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