The person with a doctorate in the art of excuses resorts to them as a defense mechanism. Making use of pretexts and the most outlandish justification for each mistake or incompetence is a way of concealing insecurities, of protecting one's ego. There are people like this, people who have a doctorate in making excuses, people who thread fabulous justifications for every oversight, task not carried out, failure, stumbling block or unfulfilled word. It costs them nothing to resort to flowery pretexts that, besides being childish, demonstrate a clear irresponsibility towards their own lives. The famous French writer Stendhal used to say that he who excuses himself, accuses himself. It is a great truth, since this type of behavior evidences, above all, a type of self-deception.
We have all known or are close to someone who is accustomed to making excuses in almost every circumstance. This subtle, but striking art, to avoid any kind of responsibility, is exhausting and wearing. Something like this generates serious problems at work, family and above all at a personal level. Having as a partner a person who uses excuses as a shield for every difficulty, problem or circumstance can be very harmful. Understanding what is behind this type of personality will be of great help. Not only to be able to handle them a little better, but also, to favor, as far as possible, adequate strategies to make them aware of the effect of their behavior. The habit of making excuses begins in childhood.
In fact, at home, they are also agile and witty when they are called to attention for neglecting their tasks, for avoiding responsibilities, for taking on others the blame that is their own. No one confronts them and little by little, they make excuses their mode of survival. Almost without realizing it, they become artisans of lies, great procrastinators, those who put off until next year what should have been done yesterday. In their small universe, everything has its justification and if the others do not understand them, they do not hesitate to resort to anger and reproach, to "you don't trust me", "you never believe me". Now, it is necessary to understand a small aspect of those who have a doctorate in the art of making excuses: they are not happy people.
In the same vein, they are far from being profiles that feel good about themselves. Those who resort to excuses do so when they feel threatened, when their competence is called into question, when their mistakes, carelessness or erratic behavior come to light. The excuse is a defense mechanism, a spring that serves as a shield to cover up weaknesses and inconsistencies. Excuses corner the brain in the basement of fear. Thus, whoever resorts to them for almost every circumstance is limiting his growth, his responsibility for his life and his own human potential. Because the habit of excuses is like a virus that sickens the person, putting chains to change, to the obligation to take care of oneself in a mature way.
Finally, making excuses is the easiest way to deal with any compromising situation. If we have forgotten an important appointment, it is always better to blame it on providence, on that car breakdown, on that sudden illness that keeps us in bed. As we have already glimpsed, the roots of the bad art of making excuses often lie in the heart of fear or in the insecurity of those who resort to the pretext to safeguard their ego or their comfortable position in their comfort zone. Sometimes, of course, an excuse is nothing more than a lie, a dastardly strategy with which to hide certain realities. If excuses are your lifeline, dive in and learn to swim. There are many people who resort to the most imaginative justifications to avoid facing what they are afraid of and put off.
Do you make use of excuses?
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Making excuses shows weakness in my own part , rather than try to justify yourself, face it squarely, I can't do this or am not sure of achieving it, rather than blame it on something else