"Four months and counting and blessed"

I am now officially four months old here in read.cash as a writer/blogger. Looking at my profile makes me feel proud of myself as I have already come this far, the thing that I couldn't imagine. I still remember my beginning, it's full of struggles, pressure, hesitations, and fear's. I still remember how much I struggle with what topic should I write as I am not fond in writing. I don't write diaries, I don't even write our discussion in school when I'm still a student as I'd rather borrow the notes of my classmates than writing the discussion on my own note. Yes you guess it right, I'm a big lazy student back then😅. Anyway let's cut that stuff, I can't do anything about it but regret it, lol. Past is past.

*Back to my topic*

Every day as a trying hard writer, I always felt pressured. Reading the other writers article makes me wonder why I can't be like them, I always found my article so low quality, I found it boring lol. I always have this stress level where I felt being suffocated, and asked myself why I can't do good articles like the others. That is why at my first month I only wrote 15th articles and I accumulated $15.18usd, and since I give back to the community I only save $10usd. I was already happy with that, specially that rusty started visiting me at my third week's. The more pressure and stress I felt as I don't want him to leave me, I want him to stay so everyday I always try so hard to publish one article. But every day I always feel excited seeing him(rusty) in my articles.

Though the pressure is killing me😂, I teach myself to enjoy that pressure. Because of my desire to let rusty stay, I made a goal and started to be more active and interact more writer's than usual. I came to spend my whole day in read.cash just to maintain his visit. It's hard, as I also have some sleepless nights as I have to think of what topic should I write the next day, I keep on analyzing if the topic would be interesting or boring. Overthinking sometimes swallowed my confidence and that's also bring some headache. I sacrifice, of not having a Me time just to maintain and improve my performance and it's all worthy.

Although there were actually some times where I wanted to stop and give up, but my partner keeps on reminding me of how lucky I am as rusty had already visited me. He says, why giving up if you are just starting to make your own history.

(hmmm history, what history your saying -evil 🤔??

Yeah, history of being a non-professional writer😜, -angel,!

Oh common, guy's your fighting again🙄.

Anyway those are my imaginary friend guy's, that's evil and angel, they are fighting while I'm typing this article lol, sorry if they interact. Sometimes they are stubborn and suddenly appeared trying to distract me😁. I hope you guys don't mind if sometimes they came to write they're arguments, i just can't stop them lol.

*back to reality*

Having someone in your side, showing some support is totally helpful.

Every one desires, is to be noticed and I have what other's been praying and waiting for, so I should not quit, instead I should do more. My partner encourage me a lot as he made me feel that he is always at my side to support me,

I continue my journey, I go with the flow, I interact more writer's to learn more. I read and watch, to get a topic and if there's none, I just let the day pass. I stop stressing myself. I stop writing a goal but I didn't stop working, I just let everything come and go. I stop chasing others achievements and fucos on my little progress. And I'm surprised, that even I'm stressed with my personal life, I can still manage to published an article without overthinking. It's not that I don't care with what others may think, it's just only because I want to express myself and I know there's nothing wrong with it. And as what I have learned from #TengoLodo, we weren't here to compete and writing for a novel competition, we are here because we love writing, and so I always kept that in mind. Sometimes I write, just because I want to clear up my mind and refresh my brain, as it is being preoccupied with toxicity. I want to let go those negative thoughts as they do nothing but to demotivates me. And looked! It works as I'm still alive and kicking here in read.cash, lol..yaahhhooouuu! It's time to celebrate,🎊🎉🎉 cheers🥂🥂🍾

I learned and grow a lot, I am now finally out of my shell😉.

Thank you so much Rusty, a.k.a @TheRandomRewarder .

Thank you so much to my sponsors, reader's, upvoters, likers and subscribers. You guys have lifted me up and motivated me a lot. Thank you for not leaving me.

Message from the Me!

Hello newbies and oldies; charot!

I know some of you are struggling of how you gonna start your journey here in read.cash. Even I, Me, Myself and even those who have been here for a year, we still struggling. I know how hard for you to choose of a topic to write, I also feel the same, don't worry lol. But don't stress yourself for that,(even sometimes I feel stressed for that, that's a secret huh? Don't let them know,sssshhhhh,😂) express yourself freely, be confident but don't be exaggerated 😉, just be you. Don't just write, but be sincere, also interact with others. Keep your patience long, as longer as your article as we need to write 600 words to be noticed 😉. Sometimes it takes time before we get our rewards, so just continue. Don't worry too much, as long as your not doing bad, published your article with confidence and interact more. No one will judge you, but be sure you open yourself with the suggestions of others. It's not that they are judging you, it's only they want to help you. Don't be too sensitive and insensitive, as here, everyone needs help. Don't compete, and don't be overconfident. Respect each other's opinions, thoughts, suggestions and advices, we need companions. We might not the same in personal background and personality, but for me, all of us here has the same goals and desires, and that is being rewarded from our hard-works.

Not everyone may like us, but it's okay. We can't force people to like us, but we can make ourselves likable. Love yourself, so people will found you lovable. Stay humble, be you, be friendly and be approachable.

Merry Christmas,hu-hu-hu-hu! Lol.

And so this is all for today guy's. I love you all and Merry Merry Christmas. I wish you guys will celebrate your Christmas safe and full of joy. Spread love and care 😉🎄

December 24,2021

Lead image source edited by Canva.