Getting over the trap of self-pity

Anyone who expects everything in life must also expect many curses. Also, anyone who appreciates everything in life will live to enjoy many blessings. We cannot live our life on self-pity and expect to have the blessings of life. Self-pity is a trap that destroys happiness in life. Life is full of blessings, but it is only one's attitude that determines how one gets out of the traps of potholes and side-trips. Our minds get weakened by emptiness as we dwell in self-pity and self-indulgence. We then fall into sloth and take all we have as if they are a burden to us.

Most people focus on making much money as if it's the only thing that happiness and fulfillment in life. But money is nothing but a means of exchange. It does not bring happiness, the way we imagine it will. And that is when we take to heart the proverb that no good thing comes easy, and there is no good thing that comes quickly.

The essence of true happiness is the perfection of having self-control and dedication to your spiritual path. Everyone is going to fail sometimes, but through failure, one grows. One is wise in how he or she reacts to failure. Instead of widening the margin of your profit seeks to widen the margin of leisure. Instead of optimizing for more money, optimize for more time.

Most people expect too much of life. As a result, they only manage to survive and sometimes barely thrive. The knowledge that being alive is better than being dead is what makes us fully alive. We lose so many good opportunities when we think there're better ones out there. We think we would have been more successful if we have taken the other job out there or changed our geographical locations. This trap of self-pity often makes our careers, jobs, and relationships suffer. It makes us lose focus on what we have and handle them to the best of our abilities.

Some of us think we would've been happier in a different relationship. Maybe yes, maybe no. But certainly, you will be unhappy in the relationship you have now if you are busy thinking of what it would have been if you were in another relationship. The surest way to make your life worse off is to agonize over the things you can't change. Stop comparing yourself to others, especially if they are living the lives that you have so often wished you could have.

Every minute spent thinking about the kind of life you would've lived is a moment taken away from the one you're actually living now. You should be grateful for the life you have today. Think of how you would have been if you had been born in some other era. Would you have been happier? Maybe not. But for today, you are alive. Your choices and commitments are what matter in finding happiness in life.

You have your life to live, nobody is going live your life for you. Whether rich or poor, broke or raking in the money, in sadness or in happiness, in ridiculous fortune or in terrible injustice, you are going to do it yourself. Self-pity is a dead-end road and you chose to drive on it. It's left for you to remain there or make a turn and drive out from there. The choice is all yours to make.

Some turn to take the road of braveness to start loving the life they have now, and that's the only way to get away from the trap of self-pity. Getting ahead will be so much harder if you're too focused on the past and on what could have been. And the moment we truly love ourselves, we have to stop worrying about everybody else's judgments and get out of the trap.

Doing what we want to do when we want to do it is the only way to fully enjoy life. It's never been so important to us to do what we want to do in life. When you do what you want, you become more capable to handle any kind of challenges that come your way.

When we do what we want to do, we also learn to take charge of our lives, become more fulfilled, and generally live life on our own terms. That's what everyone has to learn in life, and yet a lot of people don't get it right.

Happiness is not some grand solution that we all need to find but a seed we should tend to and water for the development of our character. A life of happiness is the result of finding and nurturing happiness in the small and simple things of life. And a life of constant suffering is a life of never experiencing the simplest joys of life.

To think the larger picture means living a life that is only about success, wealth, and prestige. Think of all the things that money can't buy. A happy family, a long happy marriage, the realization of your life's dream, the ability to experience adventure, and the freedom from a slavemaster's commands. Think about all of those and you will be able to find the deeper meaning of life and be free from the trap of self-pity.