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Motherhood Take Away My Freedom But I Found My Purpose

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Avatar for Eybyoung
Written by   1014
1 month ago

When I entered motherhood I barely prioritize myself anymore, it's always about my daughter's welfare that comes first. I feed her first before I do, when there is delicious food that I like to eat I let her eat first and whatever left will be mine.

I had to get up earlier than the usual so I can prepare food for her and fed her on time, to bathe her making sure she'll feel fresh all day long while sometimes I even forgot to wash my face. I don't take a bath as well everyday because I am only staying in the house all day and I can delay that as I am always preoccupied too.

When I can stay late at night before watching my favorite Korean drama, when I became a mom I hardly do that as I have to sleep as much as I can so I can have enough energy to watch her all day.

When I became a mother, I lost my freedom. I realized it all now that I wanted to do everything in crypto space, but I never regretted having daughter, as it was the most unexpected beautiful thing that ever happens to me.

I have my freedom but I was empty

When I was still single, I live alone in an apartment. My life only evolves in working and going back to the apartment after my duty ended. Even if I have the freedom to enjoy, travel here and there I wasn't able to do that too because I saved money. I also help my mom in supporting my siblings on their needs.

I felt suck that I wasn't able to enjoy my life yet I have to be responsible in helping my mom, although she's been bad before I cannot just turn my back on them. I have a soft heart, I always love them even if they are mean to me before.

I have the freedom to sleep all day long whenever I wanted because I am alone, nobody will supervised me or demand to me to get up early just to do this and that.

I felt so bored that almost all of my time after my work was filled with negativity, insecurities, and self-pity because fate has been damn mad at me. I even felt I was cursed and I have to pay for my parent's mistakes because I am the fruit of their mistake. My father was a married man, while mom doesn't know at the beginning that is why she has been fooled. So I got all the bad luck because of their mistakes.

Those are the reasons why I was very toxic with my boyfriend, I only want his attention since he is the only one who understands me. I didn't consider that he has a life as well, It's a good thing he never give up on me and we're still on until now.

Yes, I have the freedom to be myself before but I was EMPTY. Empty because I am always alone, nobody is keeping me warm (my heart lol not the one you think) as my boyfriend is working faraway, he only contact me very seldom when he was the only one to be there for me, you see how fate was so cruel to me? It seems my life doesn't have a purpose at all, just an unending misery and responsibilities.

I lost my freedom but I found my purpose

When I was 24 years old, I had an unexpected pregnancy. My life turns even sourer as I had to go through a lot, while my partner has tribulations in his career as well. It seems like we are the pair of bad luck eh?

But because we have a daughter already, we strive hard to remain intact despite all the trials. My life routine has been changed as well.

Before I used to wake up late because I don't have to think about others but now I have to wake up earlier than my usual waking time as I have to prepare for my daughter's food, to feed her, bathe her and do anything that she needs before I consider feeding myself.

As most of my long-time readers know, I live with my in-laws, and living with in-laws is not that easy because it feels like you are being supervised 24/7. I don't have the freedom to do what I want because I have to consider their opinions and my daughter's welfare as well.

If you'll ask “Why don't you separate?” well, we'll come to that but not now. For some personal reasons and a long story to tell.

Yes, I lost my freedom when I became a mom. I cannot go anywhere I want because I have a daughter to attend, I have to consider the people that surround me, my partner, etc. I lost the freedom to have my ME TIME as my time is always preoccupied with mommy stuff, good thing crypto came into my life at least it is not that boring now.

I lost my freedom but I found my PURPOSE. Although I had a lot of struggles entering motherhood if I have the choice to roll back the time I will still choose the time that I had my daughter, that she came into our lives.

When she came, we reconcile with my mom. When she came, I slowly understand my mom that being a mother is not easy, why she had some bad decisions before because it's not easy to be a mom.

When she came, I wasn't alone anymore and I don't have all the time to think negativity, self-pity, and insecurities as I am always preoccupied.

I lost my freedom, but I found a home. My daughter and her father.

Closing Thoughts

Motherhood will take away your freedom, will take away your me time and all the likes but it was the most fulfilling thing that a woman can experience in her life.

When you become a parent it will add more drive to pursue what you want because you have more reason to strive hard and that is to provide your children their needs and a better future.

We may have failed to be financially stable before building a family, I know we will come to that as long as we strive harder in life.

I lost my freedom but overall, if I were to weigh things out happiness overlaps the sadness when I became a mom.

Thank you for reading!

Note: Original content unless revamp.

Date Published: October 1, 2021

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Avatar for Eybyoung
Written by   1014
1 month ago
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Comments

I am sad to hear about the hardships you faced throughout your life,it would be painful. Thats great,the way you helped your mom in supporting your siblings on needs. I am glad to know that you have a daughter now,although you have lossed your freedom to do so many things but still your daughter would be a source of pleasure for you.

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1 month ago

Mas maganda nga po may anak. Kasi may nakakasama, ang lungkot po talaga ng mag isa kalang. Kahit po mahirap magkaanak, o kaya magkaanak eh at least po diba andyan po sila parati, nakakasama po araw araw at hindi malungkot ang buhay. Ramdam ko po ang lungkot mo ate nung wala pa po siya sa buhay mo.

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1 month ago

Oo malungkot talaga ako nung wala pa ako anak feeling ko ako lang mag isa sa munod.. napakalumbay, although mahirap maging nanay pero at least now di na ako mag isa hehe

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1 month ago

Opo iyon ang mahalaga tsaka meron ka na ngayong mini you. 😊 Cute cute kaya ni anaks mo ate. Lab na lab ka nyan.

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1 month ago

Wow! Moms are really wonderwomom. Kapag talaga may anak na eh gagawin ang lahat kahit pa ready magiging ready.

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1 month ago

Oo naman pag responsible parent ready or not we will nailed it.

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1 month ago

Naalala ko yung ate ko, single mom sya tas dalawa anak nya pero magkaibang tatay. Sabi nya, nung wala padaw syang anak andilim ng mundo nya. Oo totoo kase nung bata ako lagi syabg umiinom saka puro bisyo, lagi rin sila nagsasagutan ni dad dahil sa ugali niya. Pero eversince magkababy sya sa pangalawa dun sya nagbago, dun nagstart magbago kung ano sya noon. Dun ko lang nakikita if ano nadudulot ng isang anak sa isang ina, kaya that time naiisip ko na ang swerte ko kase mahal na mahal ako ng nanay ko

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1 month ago

Oo ganon pakiramdam ko eh, feeling ko walang saya at patutunguhan yung buhay ko nung wla pa ako anak puro galit at hinanakit nararamdaman ko.

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1 month ago

You found freedom in her...she will give those joys you sought in Jesus name.

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1 month ago

Thank you so much dear.

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1 month ago

I salute to all moms out there! Who doing their responsibilities and they'll do everything for her family.❤️ Happy New Month ma'am Eybyoung.❤️

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1 month ago

Thank you miss Ramona, happy October ☺️

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1 month ago

You're always welcome maam.. thank you so also.🥰❤️

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1 month ago

It is about having freedom but not being happy or loosing most of your freedom in a happy way. Let's always choose to be happy no matter what. And I lazysnail saluting on you for turning to a responsible mother.

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1 month ago

Yeah, I lose the freedom in exchange of happiness hehe. Thank you so much ☺️

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1 month ago

Ganyan na ganyan din ako mamsh ,inuuna muna mga anak ,tas yung tira nila yung akin😄 A mothers love is unconditional talaga❤️

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1 month ago

Oo nga haha, kahit gustong gusto mo kainin eh inuuna talaga sila subuan.

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1 month ago

I can relate so much po. Ganyan na ganyan ako dati. Dati nung wala pa akong baby, parang ang empty ng buhay ko kahit malaya naman ako. Lagi ko nga tinatanong noon sa sarili ko kung ano nga ba ang tunay na happiness. Yes, I laughed hard pero parang kulang pa rin. Pero nung nakita ko baby ko for the first time, grabe iba talaga ang saya na nararamdaman ko. Yung nakangiti ka na abot hanggang puso mo.😊

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1 month ago

Yay! Same feels parang di sapat ang lahat pero nung nagka anak tayo marunong na tayo mag appreciate nang mga bagay bagay at masaya na tayo .. nakakatuwa talaga magkaroon nang anak hehe.

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1 month ago

True po. Okay na nga ako kahit hindi makagala basta kasama lang si baby.😊

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1 month ago

I can definitely relate to you on that stage sis. Motherhood isn't easy for it take away your own freedom but of course as we go along with the motherhood stage. We will then know our purpose and that's what matters most.

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1 month ago

Yes sis, knowing our purpose is all that matters than having freedom but no direction in life

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1 month ago

Exactly sis... Freedom without direction is just a waste of life ☺️

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1 month ago

So sweet. My sister has the same experience as you. Before, her social life is active and she barely allocate time with us, her siblings but the moment she became a mom, that is when our bond became strong and not to mention she became more responsible and mature.

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1 month ago

Yeah when motherhood kicks in, you don't have a choice but to be responsible.. so yeah sometimes it brings good to our character just like your ate hehe

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1 month ago

I stop for a moment and look at my children, so beautiful, so fat, so healthy, so perfect, and I thank God for forming that being in me, I made their hands, their eyes, their feet, wow, it's wonderful and then when we have them in our arms it's the best thing in life.

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1 month ago

Yeah, I thank God too for giving me a child 😊

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1 month ago

Motherhood always sounds so tough from what I heard, but I also always hear about how fulfilling it is. I'm not sure if I will ever be ready to take on that role in the future HAHA

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1 month ago

Yeah, hehe you will only know the feeling when you become one hehe.

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1 month ago

Alam mo Yung feeling na kapag titigan mo Yung anak mo tapos masasabi mo sa sarili mo na dugot laman mo sya tapos iba Yung pakiramdam. Diko mapaliwanag haha. Alam mo Yung Hindi nalang tungkol sayo Yung buhay mo Kasi nandyan na sya.

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User's avatar Yen
1 month ago

Kaya nga alam kahit malaki na sya, the way she talks, moves and everything she does amaze me. I mean masasabi ko sa sarili ko, wow itong batang to galing sa tyan ko ngayon ang laki na hahaha

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1 month ago

Yes, you're for what you become right now ang yon ang mahalagang Importants. Marami kamang naranasan na you know, noon at least ngayon di ka nalang nag iisa. You have Rayleigh and you partner, they are enough already para magpa tuloy diba. 💙💙💪🔥

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1 month ago

Hahaha ang importante ang mahalaga parotchi haha.

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1 month ago

Habang binabasa ko to ate ebyoung nakakainspire rin mag sumikap para sa future, sa magiging anak ko. Kung mag kakaanak hahaha, ayaw kong maranasan nila naranasan kk kaha gusto korin mag sumikap pa bago mag ka baby hehe.

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1 month ago

Hehe oo habang wala ka pa anak, magsikap muna maging financially stable😊

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1 month ago

You're a great mom and you're always there for your daughter who needs you everytime. It might look like you don't have freedom now but it's only temporary and your daughter will grow up one day to be able to do things herself. Keep going ma'am, you're doing great 😊

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1 month ago

Yeah, exactly when my daughter grows up I can have my freedom to do what I want hehe.

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1 month ago

Motherhood is really challenging yet fulfilling. Kaya nga nasabi ko na naexcite din ako kaso I should expect na di talaga madali pero nakaya nga ng iba so kaya ko rin. 😁 Pero soon pa naman

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1 month ago

Yeah it's fulfilling pero kung may gusto ka pa gawin sa buhay eh pursue mo muna din hahaha

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1 month ago

it is true, i agree with you.. i hope your in laws are good to you too.. I can sense they are... indeed we have bigger WHYs when we become parents...

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1 month ago

Well, they are good to me.. compare to other inlaws they are better hehe thank you sis

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1 month ago

I can relate to this as I am still a full time daddy although my little one goes to nursery for 3 hours a day. I had and still have sometimes cold tea or coffee to drink, because as you said and I totally agree with that they are first so I can't finish them while they are hot. Some of my friends even sad it is easy for you because you are not working.

Well I am not working, but I still look after my child with big responsibility from 7am to 7pm. So I said you are lucky, because you only work 8 hours. People who have no children don't know how hard it can be sometimes. So well done to you and all the moms and dads out there.

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1 month ago

Yeah people are thinking when we stay at home to nurse the kids,they think we are not tired because we don't have a job without them knowing it's better to work because once the duty is done the work is done as well, while looking out for kids is almost 24/7 and no rest days.

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1 month ago

Kakatouch Mommy, and I can relate to this. Yong wala pa ang kids, kahit saan pwede kami pumunta ni hubby, now iba na ang scenario, yong aalis kami pero we are thinking of them, ok lang ba sila, or sana they are with us. But... there joy they bring is really priceless.

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1 month ago

Yes, hirap kasi iwan anak natin kung kani kanino lang hehe tsaka kawawa din pag iniwan kaya kailangan kasama talaga lagi.

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1 month ago

..relate ngayon khit magsuklay di mo na magawa haha..I'm living with my inlaw too, swerte ko lng dahil di sya yung typical na biyenab na nakikialam sa amin. Mas supportive pa nga sya sa akin kesa sa anak nya kasi kilala na din nya anak nya at ako lng daw tlg nakapaglatino dito ng konti lols

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1 month ago

Bait nman inlaw mo sis. Sakin mabait naman pero may pero pa din haha. Ako din kaya nagpa ikli ako buhok eh di kasi ako nagsusuklay hahaha

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1 month ago

..may pagkamonster Mom din naman sya wag mo lang sasabayan pag may sumpong haha..

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1 month ago

Relate sis! Feeling ko ang dugyot ko kasi minsan hindi ako nakakaligo araw-araw dahil sa pag-aalaga huhu. Nagkaroon na rin ako ng newfound appreciate sa mother ko during and after ko manganak. Grabe ang shift ng priorities natin

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1 month ago

Oo nga saka ko lang mdjo naintindihan yung mama ko na di pala madali maging ina ..haha okay lang dugyot kung nasa bahay lang naman.

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1 month ago

Being a mother carries a great responsibility, I hope your days get better, even though you have the full company of your daughter, she is the most important thing you have in your life.

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1 month ago

Yeah, she's the most important one in my life now. Thank you, I hope you too as well.

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1 month ago

Ganun tlga kpg nanay na.
Kya sa singles, isip2 muna bago magpatali..haha..

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1 month ago

Oo pero yun ang pinaka the highest fulfillment na maramdaman mo sa buhay mo magkaroon nang anak. Freedom is incomparable than the fulfillment you'll ever have when you became a parent.. it's like you've completed the stages of life Haha

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1 month ago

Yung lang. As a woman, yes.. That feeling of being a mother is different and fulfilling.. But the toughest.

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1 month ago