Me and my partner are already in a relationship since April 6, 2011. We are exactly 10 years now, and counting. We started our relationship when I was still 18 years old and he was 20 years old. We we're already in a long distance relationship ever since.
If you happen to read my little series of my love story, you'll know that we live in different places back then. I live in province while he lives in the city, I never thought that I will last in a long distance relationship as well because I need someone who is always there to lift me up when I am down as I was a problematic person.
How I managed to stay in a long distance relationship?
Aside from we were already in a long distance relationship back then due to different places we live in, my partner's chosen profession is BS Marine Transportation or what we called “seaman or sailor”. I never ever thought we will last with our set up but I was glad we did.
“My partner on boarded last July 27 now they reached their post destination at Japan and currently at anchorage.
He didn't contact me yet for how many days after their voyage, their ship doesn't have WiFi because the ship route is different unlike his last ship where he signed off their port destination is only Japan to China and vice versa.
Maybe he didn't buy simcard yet, because he doesn't have money. I don't know when he can contact us again.
This is the perks of having a partner who works at the sea, you don't know when they come online. They usually said, only as strong woman can love a seaman and I bet yes because not all can wait faithfully with their partner or vice versa.”
Source: my noise.cash post
I posted that on noise.cash and @BCHvlogger01 asked how to handle long distance relationship.
She was asking how to be like me, I mean how I managed to handle it because she said she thinks she can't handle long distance relationship as she always overthink and had a lot of what ifs.
“Every port report, every place replace”
I am aware of that and when people heard “seaman” they'll always have this idea “seamanloloko” or cheater because they travel different places and they'll meet different races of woman, or ibat ibang putahi lol. @Ruffa even teased me about it.
But I was never a crybaby and probably you never heard me ranting about it.
Actually I've been there, a lot of what ifs, fear of being cheated and I was really cheated to be precised. But why I was cool and never have this anxiety of being cheated again or missing my partner like crazy?
Before when the pandemic did not happen yet, usually seamen's visiting seaman's house or seaman's club when they are in port as part of relaxing after their long voyage and tiring works. You know in club there are prostitute woman, or if they cannot go to clubs they will request prostitute to come over the ship “akyat barko” in our term. Man has physical needs, sex. They can't have it while they're sailing so if they can't control themselves they'll pay for prostitute for a short term pleasure, “pagoda na ang mariang palad” lol, if they don't have a doll (sex toy).
So how did I handle all those damn reality about seaman?
Well, I was once a paranoid, a toxic girlfriend who always wants her boyfriend time and attention. I don't want him to enjoy others company even his childhood friends but I overcome all of it.
Acceptance for who he is and his chosen profession
Inorder to maintain our good relationship, I accepted him for who he was and his profession. I cannot change his profession just to compensate with my paranoia. So I accepted it and extend my patience, including the fact that he might use some prosti, of course it's nerve wrecking even just thinking about it but what can I do? My partner is not a saint lol. He might do mistakes but I just warned him that if ever he can't control just use protection to avoid STD or HIV, and never ever let me know about it or I'll beat him to death, and leave lol.
Forgiveness and understanding
As I said I experienced that he had some flings lol. It took me how many years to overcome and let go of it. Why I didn't break up with him? You know when I was in my darkest days, like I said in my story he was there. When I am about to throw myself away he picked me up and never leave my side.
I cannot just let go of our beautiful beginnings just because of flings, we built a strong bond together. He asked for forgiveness and show that he meant it.
I also understand that it's part of his growth as a man. Because as I said in my story I was his first girlfriend and he was a virgin, I was his first in everything. Man are explorer's, it's part of their growth.
Trust and good communication
Its hard to trust when you experienced being cheated right? If you read my story again in the beginning I cheated on him too. It's like we are even haha. But how did we mend our broken trust?
I dunno but we really have this strong bond that whatever trials we have it cannot be shaken. Maybe because during our down times we stick with each other.
We have the same attitude as well, we don't speak things we cannot do or we don't do promises. We are also frank with each other, so if ever there are confusions we confront each other right away to avoid misunderstanding.
Occupying my time to avoid over thinking
This is the reason why I was very grateful when I met read.cash, as I've learned many things my time is almost preoccupied and I don't have time anymore to overthink, to think about fears and what ifs. I'll just busy myself learning and exploring. To avoid missing him that much as well.
Now that we have a kid, sometimes I just cry when my daughter says “Daya, si papa he's not coming home yet”. I mostly shed tears for my daughter missing her dad. Because it's not easy without a father by our side, I experienced it as I don't have a father.
Faith in God
I have prayed for the man that God will give me long time ago, and I believe he was the one that He gave me. As I grow up and became a better person when I am with him.
I believe God will never give the one who can harm me, as I was precious to Him. My partner has faith in God as well.
My partner might have some lapses but I know it's normal because he is not perfect, but we are perfect for each other chaaaaar, sana all diba? 😂
Closing Thoughts
All I can say now is that I can live without a man by my side, I must say I mature along with our experiences.
I just tell my partner not do the same mistakes, because it's not a mistake anymore it's already a habit and I also assure him I'll do the same. He knows I am now very addicted with writing lol.
I also told him to never fool me again, I reminded him with my capabilities. “Don't do stupid things that will ruin what we have, if you think you are a good player, always remember I am already a varsity you know that, don't push me to do Olympics and get gold medal”. 😂😂😂
Tricking and playing with fire has been my hobby before so he should not messed up,LOL! Alam niya ilang lalaki dumaan sa palad ko at pinaglaruan but I am too old to do that now, if things comes worst I will just let go and build myself again then find some fortune in the jungle lol.
I can see as well that he is already mature enough to know what is right and wrong. Temptation is always there but he has choice and me as well. I also pray for our relationship guidance, and I also pray that he'll manage to resist temptation so we will have lasting and harmonious relationship.
Thank you for reading!
Date Published: August 6, 2021
a lot of things may happen while they are away.. i salute you for giving him a chance and even accepting the reality of life...