I have built in humor that I can joke around even on the worst situation, I can cracked my misery into humorous one. I also have an armor that I wore everyday just so I felt protected in my everyday battles. But inside the armor is the other me who is fragile, emotionally tired and mentally unstable.
As I composed myself as tough and strong independent woman, I have different voices inside my head that I have to balance just so I can maintain my sanity. Dealing with different voices isn't easy, as I have to weigh each voices whom I listen before I act.
The different voices in my head
As I walked in this lifetime I encountered so many things that challenge me to maintain my sanity, it's not easy handling yourself when there are different voices that hanging around your head.
It's normal for a person who have been a lot of tribulations to experience these things as I have different characters reacting in every situations..
The different voices I am dealing with everyday...
The pessimist voice
You might know me for showing positivity despite of everything, for looking out the positive side even in the negative situation but behind that is the pessimist one that I keep shutting down just so it cannot ruin the whole me..
The emotional voice
Well, this isn't a secret at all that I am an emotional person. This voice is as dominant as my aggressive character, as I can be emotional even when I am producing fire. Which means even my aggressive character attacks this emotional character can slay as well, but I think being emotional has something to do with my hormonal imbalance so I cannot really shut it down for real.
The immature voice
Even if I composed myself as a mature one, the immature voice still lingers in my head. This immature ones does not try to understand the situation and only want to be understood. If this voice is dominant in my head, that's the time I can make actions that I'll regret later on as it acts without thinking the consequences that will occur.
The councilor (mature) voice
This voice is the mature one, this voice will try to listen all the voices and evaluate them one by one. After that it will speak each of them like a guidance counselor does. This will also be the one trying to control all of them so my whole being can act accordingly.
When there is dominant voice that says right, it will sigh deeply and try to console that voice so it will calm down then it will end up saying, βlet's try to understand, we have more wisdom than that person so let's just let it pass.β
The aggressive voice
This voice was the loudest in my head, as it always wants to smash the enemy. This voices has sharp tongue, it says right but so sharp enough that can destroy opponents composure. That's why the councilor voice must be awake when this voice starting to roar as it doesn't consider anyone as long as it can raise it's voice. Consider means, to think if the person that she was dealing with has special health condition or consider if it's the right timing to blow fire or not.
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Hello There,
I wrote this one last last week when I am struggling mentally.. I don't have other drafts so I just make use of this random blog.
It's hard to compose yourself sometimes if there are different voices in your head, inorder to control any of it you'll have to be aware, of have strong sense of self awareness.
Thank you for reading!
Date Published: November 26, 2021
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I experience this lately, I'm battling against postpartum depression. I put God into my mind always so that it will disappear. As of now, I can manage myself and relax my mind from that situation.