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Those who don't ask for help

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Written by   448
11 months ago

Good intention becomes dejected sometimes. We think we help but ended up with another problem and a more messy situation. Sometimes we had to let them do the thing, watch and figure out the answer on their own, for we had the problem that only ourselves could answer so also for them.

Credit to Rémi Walle via Unsplash

I am not really a man who fans of using or asking for help, not because I know how to handle the thing on my own but maybe there is another thing more than needed before asking anyone for assisting hands. Because sometimes help from others will cause more damage than the original glass of the broken one. Thats growth.

Other people have also had this kind of mindset, those introverts or people who want to stay alone are sometimes overheard for being selfish or perfectionist. I comprehend someone who is shy for attention, so she just working on her own. She's smart but really afraid to show in another face the talent she had.

Do you know someone or are you introverted? Be careful about helping or offering help to them, because what you think is weak or fragile but I see differently. Introverts are people with a strong personality, they could cope up to something on their own without any help from anyone. they could make a wise decision even just by listening to themselves.

Another nice attribute of introverts are they waiting if you ask them for help. they don't present their selves even they know the answer, they not ignoring you but waiting for you to ask, that's what the introvert girl tells me.

Silent bomb, that is what I call her as she is an introvert. I met her during my college, she graduated cum laude in our university and board passer like me, maybe the thing that makes us friend even now, she's far away is that I showed her that I understand for being herself and shown the right help for not interrupting or add problem in her side.

I called her bomb for I had seen how she explode when someone tried to act they care but ended more mess in the project we had. I actually sees silent people as stronger than others for they don't tell or show the weakness they had. This is how began.

Pake and Pake-alamera

Credit to Danie Franco via Unsplash

For people who don't understand Filipino-Tagalog, let me introduce to you some negative words, please analyzed them carefully to avoid conflict with some other Filipino you will encounter. I don't tolerate this kind but maybe you should know how the words use and know people who are under this.

"Pake" stands for care. When they say "May Pake" its means he/she cares about you, "Walang pake" means he/she won't have any care about the action you have shown. "Pake-alamera" stands for people who acting they belong or knew but deep inside wasn't. He/she doesn't know the real happening yet they choose to give what is not really needed.

I see the difference between "Pake" and "Pakia-alamero". Sometimes people who care or have the pake into you will listen first before the act or told you something, those who didn't genuinely care will always tell you what they think not realizing the effect in you.

It's like you need help in cooking but they benefit you during eating. That's the effect of fake people wanted to help, but secretly hiding their hunger inside to grab you down or worst wait for your distraction to finish the meal serves on their own.

Avoid people who always wanted to help without knowing what to give or guidance. Not to attract or brag at anyone, but this person will just have the motives. If you really want to help the people indeed, you must know first what help you could give. Maybe being silent may be a great help to that people.

Yeah, for me I see people who will act silently rather than making more noise. For we had our own mind to think for a solution if people around us are silently helping.

Those who don't ask for help.

Credit to Lucas van Oort via Unsplash

If you are not a Doctor you must not prescribe any medicine, that's so simple. We sometimes want to act and perform kindness to anyone, and if we could do we should offer our help to everyone, I don't see any bad or intentionally negative because I also do that before not realizing and questioning if they need our help?

Because sometimes people are looking for help and maybe you are not the person capable of doing the help for them, especially emotionally conduct. I'm not really a man that you could talk to when it comes to drama, I will listen yet I will act nothing or judge nor telling you what you did is correct and upright.

This topic was pending for me for a month now, just this time I got the courage to tell this for I have seen a real picture. I sighted this topic as a great reflection of what we did in others or what others did to us.

The next time we see people whos needing for help, maybe we should ask first if they need the aid or we should wait until the time they are ready to ask for help.

How about you? Do you want others to help you always? why or why not?


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Written by   448
11 months ago
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Comments

Is being not able to say that you are sick to the friends marked as an introvert? I've been sick this late month, let's say almost a month, and my friend always asking if something happens to me, and I always say nothing, my mindset is if ever I say what happens to me they cannot help me, they are here to be with me but cannot help me for real.

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10 months ago

May mga panahon talaga na kailangan natin tulong ,lalo na as a first timer hehhehe

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10 months ago

Indeed. I always prefer to have someone to listen to me first. I don't need advices or such, I just want someone to listen to me, unless I ask so. Ganun din ako sa iba. Makikinig muna and if ever tapos na sila, magtatanong ako kung need nya ba ng advice or nah.

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11 months ago

I endure the situation first before I ask for help. yun bang kung di ko na talaga kaya, saka pa ko hihingi ng tulong. I just want to learn how to handle things by my own.

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11 months ago

Ganon dapat hehe.. Not every problems asking help is solution 😂

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11 months ago

kaya nga eh. baka mapagod siya. ay napagod na nga pala.

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11 months ago

May kaibigan ako na ganyan . Hindi siya humihingi ng tulong sa iba pero kapag kami hihingi ng tulong sakanya tutulong siya :) pero nung na broken hearted siya don lang siya nakahingi ng tulong samin na pano makapag move on agad kaya sinabihan namin siya kung ang dapat gawin😊 lahat ay hindi perpekto kaya lahat ay nahingi ng tulong wala atang taong hindi humingi ng tulong sa iba 😅

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11 months ago

How to move on ngaba? 🤔

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11 months ago

Am an introvert and asking for help is a challenge..lagi na lng nahihiya pro mas gustong gusto qng tumutulong..

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11 months ago

Lot of user here told me the same. So introverts are good in writing?

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11 months ago

I don't know😅... stalk mo accounts nila and tell jiji

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11 months ago

Kaht ganu kpa kagaling, kekelanganin at kekelanganin parin natin tulong ng iba . .magtatanong parn tyo sa iba..

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11 months ago

Oo naman.. Need pa din natin ng consultant hehe

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11 months ago

Habang binabasa ko to naalala ko Yung scene habang nasa jeep kami ng asawa ko , there's a senior citizen na sumakay sa jeep madami syang dala and syempre Yung asawa ko without asking any help tinulungan nya Kasi nga pero Alam mo ba Yung nangyari? Nagalit pa Yung matanda and Sabi wag na hawakan Yung dala nya. Parang napahiya pa yung asawa ko dahil sa pagtulong na ginawa nya.

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User's avatar Yen
11 months ago

Hahaha kailan to? Maybe she thinks mawawala or malagyan ng covid virus 😂

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11 months ago

Mga 2 weeks ago nung papunta kami ng asawa ko sa ospital haha.

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User's avatar Yen
11 months ago

Ayoko magbigay ng pake sa iba noon..kasi natatakot ako magbigay ng opinion, ganon baka ako magkamalim tsaka Kahit naman kasi bigyan natin sila ng advice kapag need talaga nila ng tulong mo di ka din lang naman susundin. Kaya wag nalang.🙄

Ako gusto kong tulungan nila ako kapag kailangan ko talaga ng tulong nila. Wala namang kaso sakin kapag magbibigay sila ng opinion or thoughts sa mga ginagawa ko or napapansin nila sakin basta sabihin lang nila ng nasa ayos, kasi tumatangap ako eh. Willing ako makinig para makatulong sakin kahit diko kailangan at least they care. Pero Hindi yung lalaitin ka muna or mag sasabi sila ng masasakit na salita tapos sasabihin nilang tinutulungan lang naman nila ako. Hahaha nakakatawa yung ganong klase ng tao.

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11 months ago

Bat parang galit is sa comment mo? 😂

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11 months ago

Utot. Sinomg galit? Hindi ako galit ah iyan tayo eh kapag magcocomment lang sasabihin galit na kaagad 😂

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11 months ago

Apaka haba kasi 🤣 parang may pinaghuhugutan 😂

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11 months ago

To answer the last question, I don't offer help always not unless otherwise being asked. Sometimes even I waited my friends to open up rather than asking them what happen. I offer help not unless they had given me the scenario and I have something o help them out and I let them decide if they would like to have it or not.

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11 months ago

Tama. Wait for them to open up, don't force..

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11 months ago

Kasi minsan na titaken for granted tayu pag always there to help

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11 months ago

I have seen one of my friend like this.. He always keep quit but he bullshit know every thing.. As well he have the better idea

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11 months ago

He's silent killer bro.. 🤣

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11 months ago

without any doubt true bro

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11 months ago

I always want to help in anyway I can. But before offering help, I always make sure if that someones really need my assisstance. There are times that they just need an ear to listen, and there are also times that they want an advise. So for me, the wisest thing you can do to avoid making things even worst is to ask them what they want. A help or just a should to lean on?

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11 months ago

indeed, people with a great comforting skill is you haha

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11 months ago

Ah this one is a good reminder "to ask first..."

I am an introvert and it takes me a lot of social juices to ask for help or even be articulate about what I want help with. Hehe.

As for offering help nakikiramdam more than asking...

$ 0.02
11 months ago

Thats right, pakiramdaman at unawain...

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11 months ago

I always want to help just when asked. Ayoko kasi maging bida bida. Alam mo naman yung iba, iba iisipin pag palagi kang nag aalok.

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11 months ago

yeah better to be silently helping others, para maiwasan tlgang ikaw pa ang magiging masama sa tingin ng iba

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11 months ago

Keep it up, good article...

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11 months ago

May mga bagay na hindi natin kaya at kailangan natin ng tulong mula sa ibang tao. Pero hindi naman tama na umasa na lang palagi. Ako, kapag may mga bagay akong hindi maintindihan, hahanap ako ng tao na makakatulong sa'kin. At kapag naintindihan ko na, gagawin ko na mag-isa. Hindi naman tama na magong dependent na lang palagi.

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11 months ago

you mentioned the thing. We choose to ask for help from people we know that could help us, and that's the good side of it.

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11 months ago

Hala, hahaha ako pa naman palagi nag aalok ng tulong 🤧 hahaha baguhin ko na ba sarili ko. Pero ako, ayokong nagpapatulong haha nahihiya ako na iwan. Basta alam ko na kaya ko lutasin kumbaga na mag isa kakayanin ko. 😂 Kahit nga parents ko, ayoko magpatulong kahit gusto ko naman talaga. Ahhh basta, tapos ayoko din ng pinapakialaman ako. May kilala din ako na nag ke-care daw pero pala, ahh basta may hidden agenda pala. 😂

Gaya dito sa read. Walang tumulong sa akin paano. As in nangangapa ako. Pero nung alam ko na kung paano, ayun willing ako tumulong sa iba. Minsan ako pa ang nag aalok na tumulong lalo na pag alam ko na nahihirapan talaga kahit di ko sila affiliates

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11 months ago

hahaha.. naturally helpful but don't want other help LOL. That is a sign of maturity and deep thinking like you seen yourself under their shoe ano?

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11 months ago

Oo haha. Mahirap kasi wala mag guide. Tapos nakakaawa kasi pagka nawalan ng hope. Ayun, masarap kasi sa feeling makatulong tapos naging successful sila. 😁

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11 months ago

Followed your link from noise. Perfectly agree to what you have written. There are situations where you think people need your help but then they don't really need it. The idea is to always ask if you could be of help. Can I be of help? How can I be of help?

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11 months ago

Indeed, ask if they are ready to accept help, because maybe they are not yet ready for showing the problem.. Oww thanks, whats your username there new friend?

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11 months ago

My username on noise cash is @ugomarc

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11 months ago

I am an introverted person and I regularly face many stereotypical thoughts like being selfish, having my own world, not always up to the latest news (because I don't like chismis sessions, I would rather listen to music), and is too serious when working. Many others and these stated are just the common ones.

I try to understand, because maybe I am just surrounded by extroverts and all.

$ 0.02
11 months ago

That's what I'm pointing up. Introverted people are not what it seems. You are strongly independent. That's what I see for people like you.. I'm not an introvert but sometimes I feel being alone is the easiest way to understand the surrounding full of toxic air..

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11 months ago

Yes. Just talking around all day is exhausting enough. LOL. I am happy the people currently around me understand it.

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11 months ago

I do accept help from others if they know what help I wanted. There are also some circumstances that I want to help but often misunderstand maybe because of my expression because I don't smile or a cold person rather.

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11 months ago

That's actually the spirit of my article today. Timing.. Let those in-needs ask for help, not to overheard them but when I ask certain people for help it's meant I trust them morethan over.. ,😍

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11 months ago

Anong pake mo... Sa long hair ko.

😅😅😅😅😅 La lang. Pumasok Lang yan sa ulo ko. Hehehe Pero... Sa tanong mo.. I'm an introvert.

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11 months ago

An introverts are smarts.. No doubt your one 😁

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11 months ago

Hindi naman masamang humingi ng tulong sa iba kapag hindi mo kaya, huwag lang iyong palagi na lang at lahat na lang iaasa sa iba... ay bad yun...😂

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11 months ago

Hahaha oo naman.. Pa rang yung araw-araw kang hihingi ng ulam 😂,

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11 months ago