It's you against you.
Not you against your siblings.
Not you against your friends.
Not you against the world.
I noticed something, basically from my own experience. There are some times when I feel bad about myself. I tend to have this feeling whenever I see a person who does the same thing I do, or who is into the same thing I'm into; doing far better than me, for instance:
Taking steps I neglected.
Growing or getting better than me.
Making money through the same thing I do, while I've got nothing to show for it.
Getting noticed while I remain in the dark...
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm sure some of us might have felt this way in time past, we allow the successes of others to weigh us down and deaden the tinniest bit of effort we make.
But then, there's something I keep telling myself especially when these deadly thoughts comes piercing deep into my soul;
When I see a sixteen years old girl taking steps I was ignorant of when I was her age.
When I see a girl who is a graduate at my present age; while I'm still here struggling with my undergraduate life.
When I see a girl who is fulfilled and married at my age.
When I see....when I see...
I always remind myself of this:
I viewed something really interesting today while going through the WhatsApp statuses of people on my contact list.
I stumbled upon the status of a very great writer and artist, this is a screenshot of what he posted:
It's you against you, you against what you were in time past.
If I measure my success with that of my friend's, I'll surely and definitely feel down and so bad of myself. But if I measure my success with that of my past self, oh! You need to watch me raise my shoulders in ecstasy.
Remember our secondary school years, that smile we can't help but wear on our faces whenever we check our report cards; seeing an higher percentage than that of the previous term.
Or...
As an undergraduate who just heard the news of the results being released; checking the notice board to view your result; only to find out that your Gradepoint for that particular semester is better than that of the previous semester.
I don't know how you feel, but trust me, there's this excitment that gushes out from my innermost part whenever I see a better and higher gradepoint.
That's the spirit, it's not about friends, families, it's not even about your fans or the world as a whole. It's about you, yes you.
It's about getting better, doing greater things and consistently fighting in order to be the best version of yourself.
Taking a glance back to the days of yore, I can't help but smile; reminiscing those great small steps I took.
I'm proud to say this; I'm better than what I was before.
That should also be your checkpoint.
Just as I was proofreading this article, this WhatsApp message popped up, it's from a motivational group I joined recently:
So instead of looking at that friends achievements or allowing that achievement get the better part of you, start seeing more of your own achievement. Start working towards improvement, be happy, be proud of those little steps you take or make.
Exactly dear Lara. Honestly; I love what you said in the last part. You broadened my thinking faculty. "You cannot compare your first stage to someone's tenth stage." Truly deep.
Me against others what was I've been doing in my secondary School days, because we all want to attain prices at end of the session
Uhhhm, that's a good one but I still feel that one attains better when one evaluates oneself with oneself and not with others.
Comparison is one of the things that kills faster that anyone can imagine. It can push one both positively and negatively so a balance is needed.
Exactly dear, it kills faster than we could ever think of.
True, everyone as their own time and age doesn’t mean one is losing, I get the feeling sometimes too
Exactly dear Coga. We all have our timing
One of the biggest causes of low self-esteem esteem is to engage in comparison. I know it's comparison helps one to put up a fight against a stagnant life but in the other way, it breaks the soul.
Yes, comparison can't not be completely avoided in our daily lives, but let your comparison bring out the better part of you instead not breaking the mind
Yes exactly Kay, you're right indeed, thanks for stopping by here.
LoL. I have made myself believe that everyone is running a different race, so that way, I don't do comparisons. I don't think there has been a time I saw my results in the university and was genuinely happy 😂😂. Maybe this year will be different.
Wow! I love this concept, exactly indeed. Everyone is running a different race.
Aah, lol 😂 I would have loved to ask why? 🤦🏾♀️
Lol, I'm sure hoping so too.
The why is simple. I am a perfectionist, and anything short of that is disappointing.
I feel like everyone should strive to be a better version of themselves everyday. The goal is to be better than you was yesterday
Exactly Levi, that's the goal and that should always be the goal.
Yeah
Comparing yourself to someone else will cripple your emotions because you're trying to be like the person. The only person you can compare to yourself is you. Just you to you!!!
Very true Sis, it's best if we compare ourselves to ourselves and not to others
We feel this way atimes because we want to be like other people that have succeeded. We should not forget that we were all born at different times and by different parents. So, we should run at our own pace.
Exactly dear, we were all birthed at different times and that's how life is, everyone would succeed at his or her own pace or timing.
A perfect doze of inspiration to start my day off. And to think that I just left my Alma mater's group and felt down when I saw some of the achievements of my mates..
Ouch! I'm glad this helped.
It is a matter of knowing that things you do and work hard for, is for you. And there is no such great thing as loving you self too.
Yes indeed dear Charm, there is no such great thing as that.
Comparison is really a threat to progress, rather than focusing our energy on ourselves, we channel it to hating another person..yes! When you are so into another man's success, you will start hating on them, wishing and hoping they could just pause and then you over take them.
Comparison is a related to jealousy and that is one habit we need to get off our mind. Everyone has their winning season
I love this, exactly dear Wrinkle. Comparison is indeed deadly and related to jealousy. Everyone has his/her own timing to succeed.
The only person you should compare yourself to is you in the past, it's like that, my dear, you are against you, otherwise you will not know a path to success or satisfaction, each one of us has his chronological timing. You cannot compare your first stage with someone's tenth stage.