How can you tell a man; no and still be friends?.
Something happened yesterday and it actually triggered the inspiration to write this article.
How the topic came into play.
I talk to myself alot, I'm part of those category of people that finds: "self" to be a really interesting and loving friend to actually talk to.
Yesterday evening, I engaged myself in a discussion; remembering the occurrence that happened yesterday morning and oh!, Through this process, this question popped up.
How can you tell a man; no and still be friends?.
As a girl, so many boys/men would come; knocking on the door to your heart, requesting for love and a relationship. If you decide to date all the boys/men that asks you out, you might as well end up dating the whole males in the world.
In essence...
There are just some people that must be politely turned down.
Initially, anytime a guy passes the green light to me, I tell him my response immediately, once I know the answer is no, then so be it. Am not a fan of telling a guy the: "give me sometime to think about it." If I know that am not interested, then get ready to hear me go straight to the point.
Let's skip all these long talks. What actually happened yesterday?
I work in an agent's office, one of my jobs is to go out; "house hunting, shop hunting, land hunting" writing down the numbers I've gotten and putting a call through to them to find out the prices, rents, agreement, commission and all in all; the total packages.
In the past.
I had already written down the number I saw on a board, placed directly in front of a vacant two bedroom apartment, I had tried speaking directly to the landlord of the house since I had already seen the house, but all efforts were rendered futile. The tenant I saw there gave me no information whatsoever, she told me plainly to call the agent's number that was written on the board outside.
Yesterday.
I put a call through to him and we conversed, I asked questions as regards the house and he didn't fail to provide answers.
The discussion actually went well, only for him to call back few minutes after I had hung up, he asked if I saw his text message, I had responded in the negative and told him I'd check it. I went on to check the message and I was just shocked...
Here's a screenshot.
This man has never seen me before, but I needed his service, so I was trying my best to reply in ways that he'll understand and maybe we might just probably be able to pull through with the deal.
He was just moving way too fast.
I still need him, he's useful in the area of being an agent, but then; with the way he just wasn't seeing reasons, I had to stop replying.
Now...
Have I destroyed this relationship?
Am I the one at fault?
Is there something I could have said to still keep the conversation going?.
I know of guys that even if you tell them you're in a relationship, they'll still want to shoot their shots. Now, I followed my mum's guidelines by telling him what I told him in the above, but still yet; the relationship has been destroyed.
Sometimes, friendships that have been built for months or years suddenly goes sour after the guy passes the green light and the girl just refuses to see it or better still; refuses to pass it back to him. She probably gave him the red light instead.
The question above might really be somehow difficult to respond to, especially because we all see things from different perspective.
Some guys prefer to just stay away to avoid them from being in pain.
While some still decides to stick around and remain friends... Oh I love these kinds.
Some are just being selfish, especially because they know you are quite used to their presence.
Honestly, at this point, I literally don't even know if there'll be any answer to the question above. It's good to keep relationships with people, but then it's also good to allow the guy in question; do what he feels would be better, to help his sanity and peace of mind.
Till we meet again in my next article and in yours.
Thanks for reading.
When I first saw the topic, I thought the interaction was between a girl and a guy that she has known for quite some time but going through the article, I would say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying NO in that case. Your relationship should be strictly on business terms and not otherwise. But in a case where a boy has been quite close to you and make be decides to go for the golden price and gets rejected at the end of the day. Not everybody can handle rejection, so If he decides not to be friends at the end, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Maybe he's trying to heal or maybe he feels there's no reason to be friends any longer since his ain has been defeated.
You on the other hand, such advances obviously conflicts with your belief and you are adamant such that nothing's gonna make you change your stance, same goes to the guys they have feelings and beliefs as well and they work in accordance to that. It shouldn't be used against them. It's not easy to handle rejection.