I Saw The Red Signs But I Ignored Them

Well, look who's back to write about her epic failed online official relationship shenanigans. Since this platform has been a part of my AFAM hunting journey, especially with my Unlabeled Love Story, I think it is just right to share with you how the story ended. And I promise this will be the end of this since I'm done trying so hard to make things work, and I already realized that it's not worth it.

So in this article, I'm going to share the Red signs or Red flags of the guy I have been talking about in the previous articles that I ignored because I was too color-blind to notice them. These are the traits or actions I overlooked because I was too emotionally invested that my heart reigned over my mind.

Inconsistency

I have shared in my previous articles that the guy I've talked to for 2 months was not really consistent when it comes to having a conversation with me. Sometimes, he would be gone for 2 to 3 days and when he comes back, he would just give excuses like he was too busy with work and that he was too exhausted to send a message. Because I was too into him, I believed his reasons.

But now I realized that if a guy is really into you, no matter how busy he gets, he would still spend some time sending a message to check up on you and to make you feel that he is there. And clearly, that guy I'm referring to wasn't into me.

Full of Lies

The first time I caught him lying was when we were already talking for more than 2 weeks when I asked him if he was still using the dating app. He said he already deleted his account but when I checked his profile using my account, he was still active there. And again, because I was into him, I just let that lie pass.

The second lie was when he asked me if it was okay to stop paying for the Paired app we were using because he said it was too expensive. But the truth is that he already paid for the premium subscription which is valid for a year.

Unfulfilled Promises

The first promise he made was when he said he was going to write a song for me or more like a poem. He mentioned that after we had our first video call and when we started sharing our favorite songs. Since he is a musician, I believed he was going to do what he said and I was expecting it since I was also helping him with some lines. But there was nothing.

The second was when he said he was going to sing to me the song Million Dollar Bill by Middle Brother because it was his favorite song. But when I asked about it, he said he's still trying to learn the chords. And now, there's still none.

Constant Reassurance

Since I was the one who said goodbye first when I was already fed up with him being away for more than 3 days, he wanted constant reassurance from me that I won't leave him again. And I did reassure him every time we had the chance to talk. I thought it was becoming like a broken record already but he said he likes being reminded of it, so I kept doing it for him. But now that I think about it, I made myself look like a fool.

Lack of Assurance

It's funny and ironic that he was always demanding reassurance from me but he was not that generous in giving assurance to me. Although sometimes, when I ask him if he already found someone else, he would assure me that there's no one else. And since I was too gullible, I believed his lies.

Harsh Words/ Disrespectful

"You are the worst person I've ever met."

He was laughing when he said this to me because I was being funny during our video call and although I think it was just a joke, those lines are still stuck in my mind. I think it was too harsh to say that to a girl you say you like. And now that I think about it, I think he is also the worst person I've ever met. Lol

Love Bombing

I really thought what he was doing when he was being too clingy and giving me so much attention and affection was sweet and romantic. However, I didn't realize that he was already love-bombing me in order to manipulate and control me. Because he would do that all day and then be gone for a few days so that I wouldn't wonder or doubt his intentions.

Gaslighting

Whenever I tried to communicate with him that he is hurting me at some point, he would always try to blame me for how I felt. That I am hurt not because of him but because it was all my fault. And I really believed that I was always the one to blame because I was too emotionally invested in him. But now that I think about it, he was emotionally abusing me.

Well, those are the 8 major red signs or red flags that I ignored. Maybe, it's my fault because, at some point, I couldn't get over the fun interaction we had at the beginning I overlooked all of these things. So, why am I writing about them now? It's because I've read somewhere that the most effective way to stop liking someone is to list down all of the unfavorable qualities that person has.

Now, what happened to my first official online relationship? I ended it right after he unmatched me on the Paired app we have been using to play games. We didn't formally have a breakup, but I have already detached myself from him. I deleted our conversation, his number, and everything related to him.

These all happened in just more than 2 months but it has traumatized me big time. Well, I don't regret anything because I still experienced a roller-coaster ride of emotions from him and I sure learned my lesson from it.

Now, I just want to focus on building myself and continue working on my goals to achieve my ultimate goal of Financial and Time Freedom.

The official relationship only lasted for 2 days and I don't want to even consider it a relationship. So, I would still call myself "No Boyfriend Since Birth". Lol 😂

Anyway, thanks for reading. 👻

And thank God, I dodged a narcissist.