Momentary questioning

Avatar for Caroline17
3 years ago
Topics: Life, Thoughts, Writing

Every one invents a life to escape the truth because the truth is only misfortune, but the lie is a narcissistic truth which avenges itself of the death to join the fact that nobody is perfect. But it is necessary to be satisfied with what we have because it's the key to happiness.

Nothing. This is the sound of the world passing, a time lapse of evolution, a gate way to a spray painted brick wall in the middle of a field. These are the sounds of life forgotten.

That doesn't look comfortable but a lot of times feeling anything is better than not feeling at all, there's a difference between letting go, and pretending you've forgotten. Sometimes I don't feel like I exist, sometimes I feel like I took the wrong path, sometimes I feel like I've live 1,000 times before, am I really there? Am I really here? What Am I? I relate to the air molecules surrounding me more than I do to the humans I share a shape with. I want to fly freely through this world, there's so much I'd love to see. There's so much we don't know. Everytime I wake up though, I'm stuck with the same questions and the same feelings. What am I? What do I do? Why can't I move from this place? Far away from all my problems and fears. The voices haunts me as it all tells me that I am doing wrong. When in all honesty, they are wrong. Stepping on egg shells just to get through the day. I feel nothing anymore. Or when I do feel, it's way too much. The pain turns physical in my chest. The doctors don't help. Neither does society. The fear of failure is the only reason you read this. I would have been gone a long time ago if not. I feel like I can't breath. I feel like everything I do fails. I am not as smart, talented, or prepared as I say that I am. I lie. A lot. I say that I am happy. I say that I am intelligent. I say that things are ok. But in all honesty, I am none of these things. Nothing is right. I can't do anything to make this better. I need someone to save me. I need something to hit me oh so hard. I need it to throw life back into my chest. The silence rushes over me like a river. Regret oozing from every drop. I can't hear a thing over a the rushing water. I close my eyes to avoid the pain of eye contact. All of my senses are dampened, as I drown. Currently, all my dreams mean nothing and they'll never be anything more than dreams.

You could stand in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by infinite nothingness, and still feel more empty than what lies, or doesn't lie there. We used to be so happy, see, and that makes me wonder if maybe I used up all my happiness when I was young.

Miss being a little kid. When nothing really mattered coming home to see your parents and the happy look on their face. Time have changed and now I don't really know what is going on with life.

And I'm still wondering, why it's so relaxing to be with yourself? I accept life, I accept emptiness, I accept my future. But that doesn't make it hurt any less?

What is the purpose of life? -it's to reach happiness

Image Source: https://pin.it/4L9gwrG

I understand how it feels to be unhappy with yourself; wanting to be anyone but you, and admiring so many others that have what you want. I'm not trying to put you down for lusting for someone or something, as you're only human - improvement is something that is always strived for yet, you shouldn't put yourself down because of what you are -instead, improve on yourself, and realize what you're good at. I also know that loving someone may fill that hole inside of you; they have qualities that you desire, and so you hold them in higher esteem than yourself. If there's one thing I know about loving others and loving yourself, it's this: work on both, more so yourself, and everything will come together, in one way another. Until that time comes of completeness.

The vastness of loneliness can only be lifted by the hand of another who carries the same.

Thank You for those who read my articles. ❀️😊 By the way, this is the second and last part of emptiness 😊.I hope you like it this kind of article.

Lead Image Source: https://pin.it/1QrrUGz

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Avatar for Caroline17
3 years ago
Topics: Life, Thoughts, Writing
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Comments

If there's one thing I know about loving others and loving yourself, it's this: work on both, more so yourself, and everything will come together, in one way another.

This sums up everything. Sometimes because of how much we love others, how much we want to please others, we forget ourselves in the process.

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3 years ago

Sometimes we really don't understand ourselves for some reasons. Maybe we are just thinking too much and been wanting to do it all at once. We also might have search for purpose as we grow up and that's normal. We can fight through it all. Laban

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3 years ago

I can relate in everything you said to this article. Sometimes I question myself of what could be the purpose of my existence? Am I worthy enough? And lots of random stuff that gets into my mind.

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3 years ago

Lahat ng ating mga tanong about dyan malalaman din naten yan😊 basta patuloy lang tayo manampalataya sa panginoon.

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3 years ago

We share the same sentiment. Anyways, we are all reincarnated beings. My friend told me I was reincarnated like 50 or 500 times and I used to be a boy, a knight specifically which explains my last name "Caballero". Whatever your name or last name is, that's what you are in your past life. Knowing our life purpose sometimes is hard to figure out but I think you have to listen to your gut, your heart to know what it is. For me, nothing is greater than be of help/service to others. It makes me happy and feel fulfilled.

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3 years ago

Ang galing naman ng kaibigan mo Sis :) nalaman niya ang mga ganyan . Ano ang religion niya ? Born again ba ?

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3 years ago

Latter Day Saints sya taga Utah. He studies Spirituality sis :) Na access nya nga Akashic records ko.

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3 years ago

Naalala ko po yung sinabi ng teacher ko noon about sa kung ano ba talaga ang purpose natin sa life. Naalala ko lang po iyun dahil dito sa article nyo habang binabasa ko sya naaalala ko po yung explanation nya tungkol doon, pero diko na po imemention yung sinabi nya hehehhe masyado pong mahaba eh.

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3 years ago

Ahhh okay yan atleast naging daan ang article ko para maalala ulit ang sinabe sayo ng teacher mo 😊 balang araw ang mga katanungan na yan malalaman natin bandang huli bago tayo mamaalam sa mundo.

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3 years ago

Kaya nga po eh bigla ko lang po talaga sya naalala. Opo tama po kasama po itong huling sinabi nyo sa mga pinaliwanag nya.

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3 years ago

Naiisip ko rin ano ba talaga purpose ko aside from giving a good life to my parents. Siyempre pano naman sarili ko. Though there are times naman na I'm enjoying my life. Ewan talaga minsan hindi ko na alam. Minsan naiisip ko na wala akong kwenta based sa mga nasasabi sakin, bakit pa ako nabubuhay?

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3 years ago

Ganyan din iniisip ko mare halos palagi ko naiisip yan tapos bigla nalang malulungkot at maiisip na sakabila ng saya matinding kalungkutan ang mararanasan. Tapos dumagdag pa ang Covid imbes na maenjoy naten halos kinukulonh na tayo sa takot sa mga nangyayari ngayon sa mundo.

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3 years ago

I'm confused myself. I am stay at home type of person but I also love going outside to hang out. Funny but boring. Strong but weak. Need someone but want to be alone. Gosh san ba tayo lulugar?

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User's avatar Ze
3 years ago

Sa simbahan ang magandang lugar mag dasal kay lord :) lahat may purpose kung bakit nangyayari yan.

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3 years ago

Ako, nawawala oa rin ako kaya diko alam kung ano ba talagang purpose ng existence ko. Till now diko pa nahahanap ang sarili ko. Need ko na ata mag soul searching ee. Tsk

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3 years ago

Haha tawagin mo po si kaibigang Yokai para mahanap niya yung soul mo ate rufa 🀣 para malaman mo na kung ano ang purpose mo dito sa mundo.

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3 years ago

I also came to this point when in I questioned my existence and until now, I even questioned it. I can't say I already fullfil what's missing in me and I can't also say I am successful 🀧

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3 years ago

Ako sis kapag nalulungkot lagi kong naiisip ang mga ganyang tanong. Bakit ako nandito sa mundo ako ba sapat kong gawin tapos yung mga bagay na hindi kapanipaniwala. Ang galing ni Lord dahil binigyan tayo ng isip para maisip natin ang mga ganyang bahay 😊 kaya matatalino talaga ang mga tao.

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3 years ago

Sakto sis. Kaya kahit na nadidismaya tayo minsan, at least may magagawa rin naman tayo don.

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3 years ago

improvement is something that is always strived for yet

this is reality

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3 years ago

Totoo po yan Mars 😊 Enjoy lang sa life. Kung di mag iimprove mababaliwala ang lahat ng pinagsisikapan.

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3 years ago

strive lang tayo para sa future chinggu

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3 years ago

I also ask myself before kung ano ba talaga purpose ko dito sa mundo. Lagi nalang akong nahihirapan at nasasaktan talaga and feeling ko lonely din ako. πŸ˜“ lahat ng binanggit mo I also feel the same. Pero Behind those of thoughts iniisip ko nalang na siguro kaya ako pinanganak dito to explore, to enjoy, to learn, and to experience all.

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3 years ago

May kanya kanya kasi tayong karanasan mare about sa ganyan:) pero hindi maiiwasan ang pagkakaparehasan mag iiba lang sa mga nakakasama naten. Pero need lang naten palaging maging strong dahil balang araw mahahanap din natin ang sagot sa tanong na yan 😊

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3 years ago

Your confession matter even when it is not so it gives courage that you can do it

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3 years ago

make it a habit to always confess because that is the only thing that can help us. Thank you for reading :)

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3 years ago