Masculinity

Men have different ways of how to become a man

How do you define a man? What does it take to become a man?

I will tackle the characteristics of a man in today's topic as I myself is one of human male species.

I just find it interesting to talk about it because I can’t find any related articles about male, man or masculinity posted here on read.cash. I found one article that was posted eight months ago but it seemed that the post was a copy-paste article. 

I might not be perfect in describing a man because even I myself can’t completely explore the physical capabilities of my body. I am not sure if after all these years, I might have hidden talent in me that is just waiting to be discovered.

When I was just a kid my mother would always remind me to avoid vices when I grow up. However, my father used to go home drunk and sometimes would hang out at home with his friends even if there was no occasion. They would drink up to midnight but there was no incident of messing up from one of his friends. Father knew how to pick a person to befriend.

Yes father had vices like drinking and smoking.  My mother also told me that he used to gamble when I was just an infant. Unfortunately I never saw him gamble once when I was starting to have my intuition.

Somehow I think to myself, are those really needed to become a man? You know one characteristic of a typical adult male in PH particularly in the provinces is the habit of drinking even if they lack finances.

Yes my parents are not rich and I always mention in some of my posts that I was born poor. But my father was rich with friends and almost all the people who have motorcycles in our place knew him because he grew up in the street and he is a mechanic. So father almost always drinking free of charge because his friends paid the liquors. But I'm not really sure, perhaps he might have gave his share too.

Does having so many male friends make a man?

When I was in high school one of my classmates urged me to join a fraternity because he just joined and was initiated recently. I asked him what will I get if I join a fraternity? He answered that frat members will help me in times of trouble. Then if I don't join, no one would like to be friends with me. I am an introverted person and clumsy though sometimes naughty during my younger years, and I just said to him, that’s okay, I can live with no friends at all. I still have my brother and sisters. 

I graduated college and earned a lot of friends, most of them are frat members but I still did not join nor even attempted to join. 

Back in the 90’s fraternity groups were famous. That if you are a member of such a group of frats, you are untouchable. Yes, fraternities and sororities back then were eminent. However some members tend to recruit youngsters and seem to fail to explain to them the mission and vision of their fraternity. These new recruits seemed to feel like, heck, I’m a frat member, I’m a real man. Nobody can touch me. 

Does joining a fraternity make a man?

I have nothing against these fraternities, in fact I admire one frat group in our place. They have this kind of community service every Sunday. They would go round the area with cleaning materials on their hands. They would sweep the streets and gather all those dirt and put them in sacks to be ready for pick up when the garbage truck would roam around.

I started drinking and smoking during the last semester of my college years. No one teaches me. Every college student is curious about what it feels like to have alcohol and smoke inside his body. No wonder that a lot of college students fail because of these curiosities. Worst was that some were fatal and some girls got raped. Seriously, the moment I became sober, I felt like I was a real man. Yes I am no longer innocent. But seriously, drinking just bring me almost to hell. 

In my post Mistakes And Misery, I mentioned how alcohol has given me so much pain. Not only me but my parents especially my mother felt like she was in agony.

But what does it really take to be a man?

In my own perspective and based on my own experience, raising a family is one attribute of a real man. To become a responsible parent and become a good role model for your kids makes a real man. Respect begets respect, that makes a man. It doesn’t really mean that you become a saint in order to be a man.

You don’t need to build muscle to become a man, you need not have to have a tattoo either just to be called a man. You don't need a lot of money and girls too to become a man.

Real men face their fears. Real men fall into tears.

*Wala naman siguro maghahamon ng suntokan sakin dito,haha. Anyway these are just ways of thinking. We can look at things differently. As long as we don’t harm one another then we are good.

If you find some words that you feel uncomfortable with in this post, please let me know in the comment section so we can talk. Who knows, we might enjoy beer together someday.

I know some of you are tired of reading my stories about real life experiences. But you must understand that we are in a blogging platform and mine is more of my personal life blogging. It is just good to know that some are inspired and motivated with some of the stories I share. At least they can relate. 

Thanks for reading. Ciao!

Feel free to check my previous posts:

Everything Is Relative

It's Not What You Think

Mistakes And Misery

The Homemakers

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Lead image source

Photo Credits:

Brooke Cagle

Jubaied Munna

Papaioannou Kostas

Norbert Buduczki

Kimson Doan