Unintentional
It makes me lazier to realize that eyes are upon me. It isn't my intention to draw attention but it also needs the effort to stay neutral.
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If possible, I wish to stay hidden. But that is almost impossible.
Last time, I wore what was just there to wear, and turns out, I drew attention to myself. It is just so ironic that I do not want to be noticed yet people criticized me.
I had to admit I wore something preposterous. And yes, not befitting my profession. Just that, I was just so lazy to plan my get-up.
Anyway, the past is past and I have to move on. Next time, I will just wear normal clothes that aren't noticeable and aren't revealing (revealing the fats, wink!).
What I would like at this point in time is to stay neutral and just live my life as quietly as possible.
Gone were the days when I would try to seek attention, put on makeup to attempt to beautify my face, wear clothes that would be of a good fit, and walk in a dignified and professional manner.
Gone were those days. I mean it. Gone were those days.
If I were to draw a line from the past to the present, I would draw a negatively sloping line. I have become tired of being pompous and obnoxious.
I ought to try to make up for myself and draw eyes away from me. and focus on more important things.
But then, I can just stay cool and not be bothered by others. They will soon lose interest and not talk about me anymore. This may just be me overthinking. I may just be overly sensitive so I thought they were talking about me.
When you've been through so much, you have no other desire than to just live and do what you want. You've been through so much enough that would say, "Ah... I have had enough!"
Indeed, I have had enough already. But I do not want to give up on this life yet. This life is just so beautiful to leave and to let go.
I have to enjoy some other ways at least. Writing. Being alone with myself. Working quietly. Wandering around town. Going to places. And so on...
We never know what time will make of us but meanwhile, I want to stay out of the limelight. Not that I have ever been a star. I was an outcast by the way for most of my days, especially at school. Students didn't usually like eccentric people like me.
But of course, some would take the pain to talk to someone like me and so I still have friends in the end. No matter what, it has been my sincere heart that won
Going back to the earlier part of this article, I didn't want neighbors or friends, or families to keep their eyes on me. As I have already mentioned, I have had enough.
I got tired of the way I have lived my life so far. Pleasing people, posing as someone I was not, and more.
Well, there are a lot more things to this than just wanting to hide or run but generally, I do not like how it is today when people try so hard to be someone they are not. I've been there, have done that, and now I got tired.
On occasions, I would post on my social media account. Just updates about me and my family, or just sharing posts about important kinds of stuff. But that's just that. Nothing more.
Gone were the days I would rant and use my social media account to get back to people. No one cares anyway. Or should I say, everybody cares about the wrong things in one's life?
I think this would be enough, for now, to start again with this account (FrieLincs). How have you been, everyone? If there ever is anyone out there who's still subscribed to me who is still active here. Hehehe.
Hi. May I thank my sponsor for the recent sponsorship! Go here to check him out! https://read.cash/@sembrandounpais
Also, a late thank you to Ma'am @Mizlhaine for her sponsorship! God bless you.
Smell of a person matters
I just read the post of Miss @zellypearl (thanks Mam for the WP) and I realized I agree with her so much. What is the sense of looking good if you smell awful? Well, it may still be okay nowadays because we can do most things virtually. But then again, it would be great if we do smell good still, even in the comfort of our homes.
I remembered the time when even though a person doesn’t look that handsome/pretty as long as he/she smelled nice, then I got impressed by that person. I don’t mean to be rude but I broke up with someone before because of how he smelled.
I am, likewise, trying to be very conscious with how my feet smell because it does sometimes smell very bad especially during a long day. Back then when I wasn’t very particular with I managed my feet, I would stay away from the crowd if I smell that my feet smelled badly. I tried a lot of remedies just so I could get rid of the awful feet smell.
Each morning, after realizing I wasn’t okay with how my feet smelled, I wore new socks. I washed my feet the longest when I took a bath and I put either tawas or baking soda. Now my feet has the normal smell, just smelling sweaty at the end of the day. They advised me to wash my feet at the end of the day only after I have rested it. To get rid of more sweaty feet.
I drink water more frequently as I believe it helps flash away toxins in the body. We should also see to it that we take a bath regularly. I know that should go without saying but who knows, we may be putting off taking a bath for more days. We shouldn’t. Or at least, we listen to the cues by our body.
I could go on before (does it gross you out?) for maybe 3 days without taking a bath, and just make up for it by taking a very long bath when I do bath. But I don’t recommend such. Even if we live in a cold place like ours. We should wash daily.
The good changes that came with me over the years is the much improved hygiene. It just feels great to be able to smell nice not really for the others but for your own good. It gives us better regard for ourselves and we do not feel very conscious when engaging with others.
Dental hygiene is also very important. It contributes greatly to the overall smell. After experiencing the super duper toothache, I became more vigilant to how I care for my dental aspect. And I don’t think I want more tooth loss. Just a tooth removed from my gums and I feel very uncomfortable. It took away some of my appetite. It’s never the same, the way I eat.
So, there! It’s worth it striving to smell nice. Unless you plan to lock yourself up in a room. But then, you also love yourself for you to smell your own bad odor. Of course, we all do want to do away with our own smell.
I do hope that my ex improved his ways. By the way, our relationship was back in high school. I think it is understandable how he was before because, yes, his mother was abroad (still is). They were left to fend for themselves. He and his younger brothers. I was too young before to suggest anything to him for his improvement. If we could go back to the past, then I could just have helped him smell better, instead of just breaking up with him without an apparent reason.
Without much more ado, I am now going to end this so I can go and take a bath. My bath is boiling!
Coming to the water! I think I need to heat more. I wanted to indulge in my bath. Just today, it’s Saturday after all.
Unexpected
Even though it seemed as if it would rain this morning, I still put my laundry on the washing machine. I worked the fastest I could and was able to finish the chore before 9 am. All clothes washed were put outside the house because unexpectedly, the sun showed its face.
Still surprisingly, it never rained for the rest of this day. I gathered the clothes back inside and they were all well dried up. I felt glad and happy. Seems something good has happened this day.
I thought of writing an article but I attended some conferences, virtually, of course, while at the same time I did some house chores like the usual, washing the dishes, cooking, caring for the kids and animals, and going to the neighborhood from time to time.
I forgot though to bathe the kids in the morning and so they asked of me to heat water so they would be able to take a bath. This was another instance that my son surprised me with his responsible attitude. He even volunteered to go fetch some water as additional volume for their bath with his sibling.
The dogs, instead of making messes in the nearby yards, had been sitting obediently on our backyard. I didn't shoo the puppies away so that Aling Delia will not complain of our dogs messing around their area.
It's still a little sunny while I am writing this and I expect the rain to not come tonight.
Still worth noting that instead of procrastinating house chores because of probable weather conditions, we can just do what we can in order to take advantage of the other percent of the probability. Besides, it's actually not a reason not to wash laundry when it rains because we have the dryer just in case.
Teeth teeth teeth
So... Hi again. I'm here to talk about what's life like after tooth extraction. So, thankfully the toothache is gone, just the little pain from the extraction site which is very normal of course. When your tooth is removed, it's natural that the area where it is removed is painful.
I was told to eat less and not to keep touching my mouth. But of course, I also didn't want to touch my mouth because I am very afraid I might catch an infection.
Appetite came rushing back though after the tooth extraction. But before it, can you imagine the effect of just one tooth aching? I had very poor appetite or perhaps I had the fear of triggering it to get painful again. So I ate poorly as well.
Now that it's gone, I am back to craving those that I used to eat.
Yesterday when I came home, one of those who were telling me not to go for tooth extraction doubted if I indeed succeeded with my appointment. I told her it was.
It's somewhat different now than before. I don't know, or it was just luck that I was able to have my tooth removed yesterday because honestly it was still painful (just mild thought just before the removal).
According to the experiences of our neighbors, the dentists back then won't do extraction if the pain is still on because patients might experience hemorrhage. In my case though, I was simply given medicine for that after the extraction. Or maybe, they see that my condition is okay. The reason why I didn't feel any remarkable something.
Well well well, I'm just glad it was removed. That painful tooth! Good riddance... Though if I were still prideful, I would still have kept it to still have a complete set of teeth. Just tooth filling maybe was what I would have requested from the dentist. But too long keeping a complete set. It's time to let go. Just one. Hoping the other teeth will cooperate with me and not be following that first permanent to be fired from my mouth... (Like a poor employee being fired. What a comparison. My teeth aren't employees of my mouth though.)
Just saying.
I am all the more inspired to make sure that my children will brush their teeth and refrain from too much sweets. Also me, I also needed to maintain my oral hygiene. And not eat anymore very hard things like that of meat bone. I am a meat lover but I guess I have to do things moderately. I have to eat moderately.
I used to eat almost anything that I chance on the table. Meat, rice, sweets, noodles, treats, pizza, even spicy ones nowadays (because of watching mukbang :-)), etc. Now, I will have to evaluate nutritional value first. Nutrition over any other thing. So that I will be able to keep my remaining teeth at the same time maintain my health.
I've seen my friends who had false teeth struggle to eat particular food because they couldn't use their false teeth properly. I've also seen others who remarked they had lesser taste on the food because of the removal of many teeth. Who wants that to happen? So while I still have mine, I will care for them.
It's dangerous not to eat well (for me) because you will not have the necessary energy to do tasks, in the house, for your job, for other things. Before when I wasn't eating well just because of lack of allowance, I experienced nausea and anemia. Good thing that when I got married, and that I was able to indulge in complete diet, I was able to get rid of nausea and anemia. I even took supplements before just to get my blood back to normal.
So take care of your teeth, everyone. Teehee!
Pleasant tooth extraction experience
This morning, I was walking as fast as I could. I was going to the dentist. I was thinking of telling him/her, remove my painful tooth. Use your best tool to remove the thing. It is causing me so much pain.
Heartache is better than toothache. I tell you, at least with the former, there is an added bitterness that makes the experience bittersweet. But with toothache? My my... Please stop! From now on, I will be gentler with how I eat.
Have you ever had toothache before? How was your experience? What did you do to ease the pain? How did you manage to live on despite the super ache?
It was some time ago when I first experienced the first bout of tooth ache. It was so severe I actually cried. The next times I kept complaining. I kept whining about my painful gums and temple and eyes. All caused by the single tooth that was primarily causing the ache.
I think, for one reason, I am thankful I was able to experience the toothache. Just maybe I could sympathize with those who are having this pain.
It was last week that my husband suggested that I go for tooth extraction. I was considering it but I wasn't in urgent mode that time. But last night, I finally decided to end the pain once and for all.
Tomorrow morning, I thought, I will go to the dentist. No more hesitation. I can't bear one more night with this horrible pain in my gums. So upon waking up, I took a bath with cold water, I was in so much hurry. I was starting to feel another bout of pain and I don't want it to go deeper. It might make the dentist not remove it.
I prepared my things then went to town. I already had dentist visit before but for other reasons like medical certificate but mostly, the requirement then was for teeth filling. Again, this is my first time to have tooth extraction.
Fortunately, the experience with tooth extraction was pleasant. I was having doubt that my tooth will be extracted since it was painful the previous night and still was this morning but very mild.
I went to check several dentist clinic until I decided to have my check up on the last one. The receptionist was pleasant. Come on in, she said. What do you want? Then I said, just one tooth removal.
She let me sit on the (what do you call that?) place where patients sit in a dental clinic. She called the dentist, the dentist came then asked me again what I wanted.
I told her if she could just remove the painful tooth so it will stop causing me so much pain. She smiled then checked my teeth. Of course, she was offering if I wanted this or that because honestly, my other teeth wanted dentist help. But I candidly said, some other time.
She remarked, "Oh, mababawasan na ang ngipin mo." Because yes, I have a complete set of teeth until this morning before the dentist successfully pulled it off.
Then the dentist put some mint on my gums where the tooth was on. She said that I should relax, she was going to inject some anesthesia on my gum. Okay, that's nothing compared to toothache.
That was how brave I have been this morning. Because toothache was very severe in comparison to other pains I've ever experienced. Then she injected the anesthesia. Nothing grand felt. A little while later, she asked if I was ready. I am, was my immediate reply despite the anesthesia not yet having its full effect.
She then asked the receptionist for some help, to hold my mouth while she extracted the tooth. I felt the tooth being pulled up. The removal was very quick. She showed me the tooth then I exclaimed, just like that? Wow! Haha. It was quicker than I expected.
I then rested a little then went to the receptionist to pay. She gave me medicine for pain and possible hemorrhage. She said to take it every four hours.
I felt great right after the extraction. I then went for other errands then I went home. Yes! That was awesome! I can again be happy before another tooth aches. Hoping no more. I won't ever use my teeth again to open bottles of whatever.
So that's it for my one tooth ache and extraction experience. I hope that we will all be having pleasant dentist experience.
Have a nice day!
Playing Bubble Shooter
It's deemed rest day today so I played bubble shooter which I just chanced upon my phone, downloaded by some of the kids. It was a little mindless a game though you should still use some tricks in order to pass the levels.
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The first few levels are very easy and simple. Depending on the version or brand of bubble shooter game that you download, you may have around 10 levels where you simply shoot a bubble to the same color and the cluster would pop. You do that over and over until no bubble is left on the top of the screen.
Well, I might be lacking in description so you may just search the internet for the more well-defined explanations. You may also see there the tips and tricks to go by the game. But of course, since this is a popular game, I would assume you already know how it's played.
I played just to relax. But apparently, it wasn't just for a few levels because just before writing this, I already reached level 67. It was maybe my kind of game because I was able to enjoy it and I was a little very into it for during this afternoon.
I like the challenge when I would fail to clear the level and I would attempt a lot of times to play it again and again just so I could finish the level off. It somewhat steadied my system so that I would temporarily forget my woes.
Unlike candy crush where you really needed to focus sometimes, bubble shooter is the game to play when you just wanted some relaxation. It's mindless, calming, and simple.
I don't know but it's how I liked the game.
I think it's been a year now since I last played something like this one. The only app perhaps that's long been with me is the ClipClaps but I also rarely open that now. You would need how many months just to be able to obtain 10 dollars, the minimum for cash out.
I stopped playing games because I felt I needed more time for blogging. So it was only now that I again played something like the bubble shooter. I guess this will be a steady game for me since I have not moved on since starting it again this day. Well, I will allow myself this indulgence for now. Maybe, a few days and I will be over this. Teehee.
So... Let's play again! Ready, shoooot! POP!!!
Silly Kid
Adrian was asked to wait for his mother who would just go to a nearby uphill store in order to buy siling-haba. He waited for her at the store few meters away from their house.
The store owner, Delia, sat with the kid, who was humming while drinking the milk man he was given in order not to go after his mother. Delia asked the kid what he was singing. The kid didn't respond. She asked who taught the song and the kid answered it was taught by his mother.
How about your father, what did he teach you? Delia probed. Then the kid answered, nothing.
Nothing? Repeated Delia. Yes, nothing, said the kid. The only thing my father know is Adrian. He keeps telling me to write Adrian over and over and over. It's the only thing that he know.
Delia burst out laughing and could not stop herself from showing it to the kid. What a silly remark from such a young boy. But the four-year old never even laughed. He was so serious it was so cute a sight. According to Delia.
Delia related the story to us and we also laughed as well. Then when I saw the kid, I explained to him that his father only wanted him to master writing his name because classes is about to start this September. The kid was listening, I know, even though he was moving his eyeballs and was humming.
How silly of kids to think differently from their parents who only wanted them to learn something. But then, from the point of view of the child, it was mere repetition of a task.
Therefore, the creativity of the parent or tutor is of utmost importance so that the kid won't be fed up. Wow, kid! As if. Haha! You are the one who is fed up? It would be those who will teach you if you don't cooperate. But of course, this is the reality that adults have to face. We needed to attend to our youngsters whether we are busy or not. Or look for people who will cater to our kids so they won't be left in the air.
Dreams reconnect us to the happy past to make us whole again.
It must be the mefenamic acid that I took to ease my aching tooth or the banana that I ate last night. It made me sleep so well I dreamt about a person of my past.
It was a blissful dream. Apparently, we were classmates with this someone during my dream. Our teacher gave us a group activity and we automatically chose each other to be members of our group. I was very much delighted. How I would do anything to make that a reality but I know things do not work that way. And dreams are just of ones subconscious and it should not be mistaken that someone is also thinking about you.
There were other blurry details in my dreams and those that I could not quite describe. But the feeling had been so vivid it was like I could see it with my own two eyes. It was such a one of a kind dream.
Who knows, in this world of endless possibility, it may just as well be the case, that someone is also thinking about us, hence the dream of him or her. But I knew that it was on my end that that dream was possible. I may have missed my blissful past. I may have been so light a sleeper and that a little banana or something would make me sleep better and have those blissful past return to me through the form of a dream.
I was so contented when I woke up. It will be long before I will be able to experience that kind of sleep again. Statistically sleeping, that happens only once in a while to me. That is more than enough to last me this month. Adulting! Blame it on it. We barely enjoy our lives sometimes. But that's how it is. Maybe, maybe not.
Life is more complicated that it appears and sometimes it's simpler than how it seems complicated. It really depends on our outlook of it.
I thank The Almighty that He gave us more than we deserve. I thank Him just because I am living a good life once in a while. There are ups and downs. And then there are dreams. Dreams that suddenly pops out of nowhere to remind us that we could be happy. It reminds us of our previous bliss that we could revisit from time to time.
This kind of event happen to me whenever I have my period. But it occurred to me last night even if I wasn't having my period. It may really have been the banana that I ate or the medicine that I took. Regardless, it may be because of our good condition while sleeping that we are brought to the realm of good dreams.
And that is why it really is important to tend to our diet also so we could be in good condition. I believe that dreams also do have a very important role in our lives.
Because of continually watching mukbang...
Am I that pathetic? Yaha! I know it is not good to indulge a lot with something which would lead to unhealthy thoughts but I watched mukbang for most of this day. I don't know how to prepare such food, the noodles, the korean mukbang.
So the best I could manage was to buy instant pancit canton, the chilimansi ones, because I don't like those without kalamansi. Since most korean mukbang is spicy so the noodles had to be spicy as well.
I tried recreating what I have watched and though I ate with fork instead of chopsticks, it was still a nice remake. At least I had something to quench my desire for what I saw on the videos.
I promised myself that this will be the last day that I do this. I have to consider my position in the house and it would be a bad example for me to indulge in these acts, that is, watching then recreating what had been watched. Also, we have different, very different, right at the moment, taste with the korean nationality. For one, they eat spicy foods while our family would cry over some little spice. Yahahaha!
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Anyway, at least I was able just eat something in order to be satisfied with this desire of eating mukbang once and for all.
But who does not wish to recreate the table that is being watched on YouTube? Take for example the samgyeopsal, it was indeed very yummy and tasty! Oh my, I would one time go to town just for that. I will try exploring other Korean restaurants.
At least I have tried eating kimbap before. It was a no-choice choice during that time because only a Korean restaurant was near the school where I was teaching that time. So I didn't hesitate to ask the waiters how to eat the korean food. I asked them if I could eat the wrapper of the kimbap, I didn't know then that it was actually seaweed wrapper. I ate everything I ordered, very pricey, hihi, but wow! It was delicious.
Later times after that, I was gradually introduced to other korean food and it had always been a delight to eat their food. Though of course there will be times that I would love my own Filipino native food more because it's what I grew up with.
It will be long before I will be able to taste I think those things exactly like what I was watching. Or maybe, never. But who knows, one day, I will just be able to have it here at our place. I stopped watching koreanovelas for some reasons but I still have a lot that I love about their culture.
Hoping one day I will have the urge to visit other countries even just for days or weeks. Korea would be the place I would choose.
It will be in a few moments
I am writing this at around 1o P.M. Philippine Standard Time. In a few moments, it will be the first of September. And what does that mean?
For some of us, it would mean it is already Christmas. This is true for me. I still have that childlike tendency of being expectant during Christmas seasons. Forget about those myths or whatever about Christmas but it brings me joy to think about Christmas.
Like a child, I would think about the positive things that like giving, loving, making peace with each other, etc.
It's hard not to think like that especially when you grew up in a family who continually celebrated Christmas.
But my wish is that, I hope people will focus more on the true message of the yuletide season and not about drinking, jamming, or fireworks. I hope more people will be prayerful.
Thing is, during Christmas, we often see drunk people, I say overdrunk people.
If I remember it right, I began dreading the Christmas season, when it nears December. I would imagine the time to be the chance for many to vent their frustrations in the guise of taking some alcohol.
It's so saddening how people do not value much family time and prayer time when Christmas comes.
Until now, I still dread the end of the year just because of the misinterpretation of what Christmas is. I may still have that childlike tendency of becoming expectant but as I grew older, the expectancy turned into dread.
I have a lot of things that I needed to learn with regards to the truth of the celebrations. I hope I will eventually stumble upon a better explanation.
How about you, how do you see the -ber months? Do you like it? Why? or why not? We all have the reason of why we feel certain emotions but sometimes it is just hard to figure it out.
Hold your broom because it will be Christmas in a few moments from now!
And more pages got opened
So I have mentioned that in order for me to go on reading, I write down the words one by one. I do copy them into my notebook. It's my technique by the way and only for my personal use so there should be no problem with that.
I have no printer. Pity. All these years I have worked but I have not thought about buying a printer. So instead of just printing the ebook for me to read, I copied it down. But again, it was a way for me to be able to really read the ebook. Because when you copy words down, you have lesser tendency on missing out words.
My penmanship is not so bad. It's readable. It may not be written as legibly as others but it is readable. My writing is very clear. I don't write that fast. And my hands got injured before. I would get tired but I could go on writing but just more slowly than the start of writing.
I was more on philosophical books. I only read just a couple of philosophy books but I am so into these topics on philosophy, about life, about reasons, about purpose, etc.
Those topics are very interesting for me. When I read them, I begin to question a lot of things, and more pages get opened as I become more interested on how things would unfold. How these philosophers would tackle their topics.
I don't know if I could go deeper and make philosophy my career. Perhaps not yet. Or not ever. I lack the depth. But at least I could have it as my hobby, reading books about life.
I have a friend who teaches philosophy, and I could ask book recommendations from her. She told me that philosophy subject is a very recommended subject to be taken by students because it would help them prepare for life's challenges. As they reason out and open the pages of their books, they may become equipped with necessary skills in order to face problems that befall them.
I was not able to have very high grade in philosophy before but at least that during that time, I have become interested with it.
I went to town too early to be entertained with a solo dance show.
I was watching an adult (a senior, more likely) beggar, dancing on his spot. I was trying to discern whether he was free dancing, as in like me who is free writing, or if he really prepared for his dances.
In fairness, it was evident that he had prepared his steps. He was dancing with his rehearsed moves, never distracted by passersby, by spectators, by those who might say negative things to him. He was just there, sticking to his objective.
While waiting for the thing I went to town for, I simply stood at the vicinity of where the beggar dancer was dancing. Thanks to face shield and face mask that hid my face. It wasn’t obvious that I was closely observing him.
The man danced continually during that duration I was also standing near his spot. Such stamina he had. He actually looked like a politician. His appearance wasn’t that of a typical beggar. Well, I might be wrong with my terms here. So let us just say he was having some talent show.
He danced to Macarena, J. Lo songs, and many usual dance songs.
Some placed coins in his box. Others just watched him then moved on to their destination. Some got obviously amused. Only very few danced with him. It would have been nice to have went along with his music but I was too shy to suddenly attract attention for myself when I dance with the melody.
I couldn’t believe that it had been an hour since I was observing him and the crowd that he enticed. I was way too early anyway for my appointment so I wasn’t at all bothered by the time I had been standing.
I thought that at least it was all worth it being there watching him because he prepared for his talent show. If he hadn’t, I don’t believe he would have the guts to stand there in the very first place. It was also somewhat obvious that he had been doing that for quite some time now or for much much longer. He doesn’t appear to be bothered by the people around him.
I was in awe of his persistence to wait for the coins to go to his collection box. I was kind of praying that he would somehow be able to collect the amount he deserved for such persistence. He was working it out, he was deserving of the money that they were giving him.
I eventually stopped watching. I reluctantly went away knowing that I also needed to go now for my purpose in going to town. Hoping that another day when I go to town, he would again be dancing. By that time I will donate more for him.
Let this be a silent way to thank him for making my waiting time entertaining.
*Lead image from Unsplash*
Bored out of wits
And so it was during an afternoon again that I took my pen and went to the neighborhood to write. I could not write anything. The paper remained blank, so was my mind. I tried to get inspiration but all I could manage that afternoon was a scribble coming from my mindlessness.
But it was not to be a fruitless afternoon because I was able to gather something else. I collected my thoughts and deposited them somewhere in my system. I just enjoyed the afternoon like any other afternoon during the past weeks. And I was able to observe the people some more as I went on with my writeless afternoon.
I went home with the blank paper and just slightly used pen. I couldn't read as well. What I did then was to use the paper instead to copy the contents of the ebook. It was not to be used anywhere else anyway. It was my way of reading. When you write, you have lesser chance on missing any word from the ebook.
I copied even the name of the editor of the book as well as the translators. As I wrote down the words of the prolific author I began to enjoy the story very much. As I was sticking to my objective on not missing any word and continuing writing down the words of the ebook, I was able to understand the message without much effort as compared when I simply read without writing what I read down.
I enjoyed the writing escapade. Writing-reading, so I call it. After I finish writing the ebook down, I will now have the liberty to go over it again and again like a real physical book. It will not only be a week before I get done writing the book because it was quite lengthy but it was my favorite author's anyway so I should have no regret.
What makes me so stingy with these animals?
They are our dogs, alright. And I sincerely love them. How I cried over those who were bought because they were no longer with us. But then I still feel stingy. The food they consume is way more than the budget. Forgive me, I just wish to let out.
We brought the puppy home in the very first place. We knew what was expected. The puppy we brought home two years ago is a female. So then it will produce more puppies. More and more puppies.
Every season when the female pup was ready for mating I would feel uncomfortable during the time it gives birth to many puppies. Twice a year, always more than four puppies.
This season, right now (the fourth batch), we have five beautiful puppies. And just one of the previous grown up dog from the same origin. If only I had no other commitments, I would care more for the little puppies. But they demand time as well. They’re animals, and they eat, they need care and shelter.
I was considering the ligation but was too lazy to act on it. Also, I don’t think it is a good idea to do that. Maybe it is, since I want to keep the mother dog. She is white, kind, and like a human person. She is quiet when she knows the people who are passing by but would attempt to bark when she doesn’t know the people.
One of my options would be to sell the mother dog to willing and loving buyers, or not be stingy with them anymore, exhaust possible means to remedy their food. Else, I will always have reservations about this ordeal.
Another thing, we do not have enough backyard to raise them. The city is attempting to pass the ordinance that all dogs should be kept. No stray dogs. But I wonder about that ordinance. I will research more about it for us to be guided. There are free vaccinations, that’s one less of worry.
I know of someone who would go to buy fish inners for their dogs. I will also do the same instead of always cooking sardines with rice. I knew this is how it is to have pet dogs but still I did not give my consent to my husband when he brought the animal home. But since I had no backbone or nice speech or excuse to give him so I had to do my best to care for them.
There were occasions when I brought commercial food (feeds) for them but it would be consumed before I know it. Then I run out of budget again. We have to always cook their food. They shouldn’t eat raw foods because it would cause them skin reactions.
During the earlier months of the puppies we have to always do something so they wouldn’t go on with skin diseases. Last time, we called a vet and he injected something to them which made them well after a few weeks. The one with the worst allergy got well like she hadn’t had the disease at all.
I will retain the bitch but I will have to give some of the puppies to those who are willing to adopt them. With no cost. I am not a breeder. I just wanted those who are kind enough to care for the dogs. I will be keeping one or two male dogs.
Definitely, these creatures are stress relievers. This is my first time, already two years now, having pet dogs. I never knew they were like humans. You could actually talk to them and they would understand. I honestly didn’t know that. It was only now that I am learning the wonders of keeping dogs in the backyard.
Happens our dog has some breed, so the offspring white as well. I call their names and they would come to us. I scold them and they know their faults. They are like therapeutic for us. I can’t imagine life now without them, despite my complaints and plights.
I love them, alright! So to myself, don’t be stingy okay? Just be resourceful and creative and don’t take it out on the animals.
Well, well, well. I’m good now. Seems so. Thanks for listening to what I have to say. Now I kind of understand why so many others treat these pets like they were their own children.
In love with mornings!
I must have forgotten about yesterday. I believe I sat to write but I guess I have completely forgotten about writing. For once, I get so relaxed I simply let time slip by. So I will make up for it today. It's still considered early as it has not struck 10 am yet.
It's again a bright sunny day today. It's cool, it's fresh, it's morning! If I were a photographer, I would bring out my camera then take a shot at all angles I could get.
I am no painter either, to capture into my works the magnificent rise of the morning sun. But I am just a regular person who knows how to appreciate and write.
So here I am, forgetful maybe, but still kicking. What a wonderful morning this is!
If I live near the sea, I would have brought my pen and diary with me then sat near the sea and write until my hands got tired. Anyhow, we find a way to enjoy moments somehow no matter how overpopulated our area is. Maybe it's still not because we still have spaces to squeeze ourselves in every now and then.
The round celestial body is winking at me, urging me to do the laundry. What a silly heavenly body. May you just pass your warmth to me? Don't nag, don't scold at all. The laundry will take care of itself.
But yes, I should do the laundry not to get to the mountainous point again and I might not be able to like the feeling again of seeing so much clothes on the hamper.
The can't determine if the morning sun is telling me to rush or telling me to just enjoy its rays.
But for sure, it never complained giving hope to everyone. Yes, hope... It assures everyone in this lifetime that it still rises every morning.
In my younger days, I would bask in the early morning sun. Again, back in the province, I have never been a late riser. I always got up before 6 in the morning. A habit passed down by parents to their young ones in that serene place.
I appreciated how they reared us because it had been helpful when I got to college.
So now, I became so reminiscent let me close my eyes and enjoy the morning sun!
Hope you have a great day!
Enjoying a Lazy Afternoon
It was yesterday when I picked up my pen and took a filler out of my binder. I went outside and I tried to write. (Wow?! Ahahaha.)
It was rather foreign to feel the hands moving on the notebook. Maybe because of the prolonged community quarantine. Classes are being done online. I personally use all features I could find on my computer. Like instead of using sticky notes physically, I use the sticky notes of the laptop. So this may be a good exercise after all in order to not forget about writing. Typing is a lot faster so most of the time, I use the computer or cellphone to write.
Some of the following were edited upon putting them here. Nothing much really. I just wrote freely. Still, it was a fruitful lazy afternoon, spending it writing while being with beloved social beings. It rained today so I wasn't able to recreate what happened yesterday afternoon. Yesterday, it was sunny the whole day.
At the middle of the open area where I chose to go, stood a lemon tree. Its leaves were withered by passers by. The fruits always too early to be picked. They do not seem to be ripening. I started writing. The atmosphere seemed so inviting. Someone might think I am that good because I openly show to others what I am doing. I don't care. I just wanted to write.
The lemon tree got my attention. I tried once to pick some green produce protruding from one of its branches, I was thinking to use them for our adobo but no juice was squeezed. Until now, as of writing time, the fruits do not want to be consumed. They're just there, as if for decoration purposes only.
I sat at the vicinity and observed as kids played and older children played their gadgets. Good thing my writing is not that readable so those who attempted to read what I was writing wasn't able to pick anything. You had to focus in order to read my hand writing. I did it badly deliberately so no one would be able to make things out.
After my right hand got tired, I mingled among our neighbors who were sharing among themselves stories that were more or less the same the previous days. I butted mine so as to belong to the group. Though no one is forcing anyone to say anything. I continued writing. I was occasionally slipping out of the crowd to scribble things on my note.
As far as I could describe, no one seemed to like gossiping from among our companions. No foul language encouraged among the group. Which is why whenever I was free, I would run out and mingle with them. As much as possible, when we really needed to talk about others, we see to it that we limit trash talking, or no trash talking at all. The lemon tree has been a witness to all the stories shared.
And one day, the lemon tree will be gone forever. And a house will rise from that open area. By then things will change. No more open areas in the neighborhood. Everybody tries to use up the land that could be seen in building houses to live in.
Well, at least it's still fresh air here at our place. Few years ago, the authorities decided to stop the raising of pigs in the city. But it will not be long before they will allow it again. Anyone who will again consider it will have to show that they have septic tank for their piggeries. For sure, there will always be those who will not be prompt in keeping pig pen clean. Hoping people here at our place will keep the environment breathable.
I finally put my pen down, tore the pages where I wrote my piece, kept it in my sling pouch, then relaxed with everyone else. I had to tear it because someone may get very curious and snatch the notebook away from me and read whatever that I have written. As if I have diamonds in my notebook.
Such a lovely lazy afternoon...
*I did house chores promptly before going to the neighborhood. Because when I don't do that, it will be the unkempt house which will keep me from enjoying.*
On a bright sunny day...
I woke up, not so early though.
I would've gone back to sleep. But the trash bag needs to be brought to the collection station. I wasn't the one who brought it there but I was the one who fixed it ready for carrying.
I had no appetite for morning coffee. All I wanted was go under the sun and bathe on its rays.
I bought dried fish, eggs, then cooked them. I put rice and viand on a plate then went to the neighbors to eat. Not much appetite but I still ate like I had some.
The sun felt so warm. Actually, it was hot but I prefer to say it was so warm.
I wasn't able to consume my food but what I ate was already enough to last me for the whole day. No heavy work today. Laundry already washed the previous days.
I will be heating water for my bath. Will be bound to town later or tomorrow.
What should we feel? We should feel grateful. We may have the tendency to feel depressed but we're not going down there. Besides it's so sunny I could jump with joy!
Let's carry on, on this bright sunny day!
Espada!
The little child bellowed, "Nasaan ang aking espada, Mama?! Nasaan?" (Where is my sword, Mama?! Where is it?)
Someone might think it is a real sword. But actually it was just some old piece of a cabinet's remains. You know, those cheap cabinets that we buy from online sellers. Only to have everything crumble down at the slightest hint of weight.
It was not even shaped like a sword. It was rod-shaped. Haha. Well, the child's acting was magnificent.
I presented her with two similar parts but she insisted that it was her brother's. I have to find hers. What? I thought. They are all the same.
Maybe, she left some marker of some sort on the 'espada' so she knew what was hers. Okay, I told her. You have to look for it. Hands up!
She sat down and watched television. Silly kid. Not persistent enough. I prodded her to look for her 'espada' but she pretended not to hear me.
I always watched about swords and other things when I indulged in those Korean dramas or movies set in ancient times. And I imagined what it was like before when people wore swords on their waists. It was somehow scary, anytime you'll get your neck slashed.
So does my child even have an idea of what she's playing with? They would act like warriors at times when they play.
*Shing shing shing shing!* were the sound they emulated.
*Yaaah! Chek!*
It becomes eerie sometimes. Watching them with the influence of the animes they watch. It's just for play, I assured myself.
But I know I will need to ask them later what they thought about what they were playing with.
Umaywa, Mu Shindayro
Whatever that means, it's some expression my sons repeatedly thrown at each other. One would loudly say, "Umaywa, mu shindayro!" Then the other responds with, "Nani?!!!" They surely watched something somewhere, picked it up and became part of their language.
Then I thought of searching the internet. Upon typing the first word of umaywa, mu shindayro, it automatically suggested 'umaiwa mou shinderiu.' Then the search results revealed, 'omae wa mou shindeiru.' It means 'You are already dead.'
I do not know what to make of this but definitely their watchlist will be censored from here on. I tried censoring before what they kept watching but sometimes it's hard to monitor.
But sometimes, it would also be best to watch with them, synthesize comment then deliver to them why they shouldn't be watching such things or that if they watch, they should be critical with what they are watching.
I captured their phones before. No actually, they do not have phones in the first place. They were just borrowing our phones, mine and my spouse's. So I didn't let them use it. But they had the television to watch if not from the YouTube.
In fairness to the creators, I shouldn't conclude immediately since they only created those for entertainment purposes and it was on the viewers discretion to watch or not. So yes, the heaviest responsibility lies still on the parents' shoulders.
But well, I used to binge watch anime and there was even a time when I got so infatuated with the characters and set of Hunter x Hunter. So I understand their love for what they are watching.
But then again, they should still be holding pens and papers. I only started binge watching after I got married. When I looked for things to entertain me. Those times when I cared for my less than a year old baby. When I was still on maternal vacation. Though in truth, I really didn't have some job to return to. I needed to apply after three years after giving birth in order to be accepted for a job.
Anyhow, regardless whether they have those to watch or not, parents' attention to them will be the biggest factor to guide them with anything.
"Omae wa mou shindeiru!!!"
"Nani?!!!"
As long as you're a reader
I was listening to someone complain endlessly about research. Probably she really disliked taking all those efforts researching and writing some papers about topics about this or that. Listening to her made me hear stories that she related.
She really would puke out whenever she was involved with research although in the end she would be able to always pull it off. I've been a witness to her glories but she seemed not to know her strengths. All she sees are her weaknesses. Even until now.
One of her classmates advised, as long as you are a reader, you will do well with research. She is a reader, alright? But for some reason, she felt butterflies in her stomach as she talked about research.
Personally, for me, research should be an exciting endeavor. At the very least, you should be tackling something of your interest. Funny how so many would curb the subject the moment it is talked about.
But I would understand because this excitement would oftentimes be coupled by worry or dread of the expenses to be incurred. Although if you become successful, you could monetize your research.
It still rings in my ears—'as long as you are a reader.' So be it, everybody then should embrace this research task. Student, teacher, scientist, many more... All of us should have a good regard for research.
The sites that I usually use for my research are ERIC and EBSCOhost. But EBSCOhost would be hard to use sometimes because it resets a lot so I use ERIC. I am still trying to look for other reliable sites.
I do not know but our school is trying to be open with its clients (students and teachers) but sometimes, the school's efforts are in vain. Hoping that we will be more cooperative in order to come up with something better for our own school.
Research is supposed to help education and any other area of the society. So why don't we support it the best way we can?
*How about you, what is your perspective about research? What has been your experiences regarding the matter? Do you like it? Why? Why not?*
Remnants of the Past
Remnants of the past
I froze myself not to react while you drift away with your own life. There was never an ‘us.’ There was never you and me. Just the world between us and my unrequited love for you. It maybe because you never knew. Or you noticed but never returned it.
I stopped myself from running to you, whenever I saw you. I stopped myself from calling on your name each night I thought of you. I saw you, I see you, but you never see me though for sure you saw me. I play with words to ease what I am feeling.
I might just also be a hopeless romantic.
Aha, yes… I just wanted to express something long gone. So please allow me to indulge.
Thank you for reading!
During the early morn...
*It's 6 now that I started typing this...*
It's early morn. It's lovely. It made me write something, just something on the canvas.
The outside world is pretty and fresh. The color of the sky, clear blue. You could smell the freshness of the place.
I would gladly go roam around if I wanted to.
In a short while, it will be a busy day. Better post now, or never during the day.
I hope my short post gave you a wonderful view outside my window.
8/17/2021
Apology
It seems I won’t be able to post as frequently as I would like to. The hormones of an aging body is just not allowing me to.
Kindly forgive me. Not that I get many readers or likes, anyway, but for even just one who is expecting something from me then I am writing this short post.
I will only be able to manage short post articles but I will try to share short walk through about anything I deem helpful to someone, or tutorial maybe. Whatever. You’ll know when I post.
So there you have it. God speed!
Can’t get enough mentioning the sun
I am in love with the sun. I like its rays blazing my skin. I love its warmth, its yellowness, its message that today is another warm day. It warms the heart of even stony people.
I could finally let some of the parasites and bacteria be scorched to death when I dry my clothes in the open. Hoping sunny days will drag on so as to experience more of the naturally dried laundry. We will save electricity when we don’t use the dryer on some days.
Has it been three days since the rain stopped?
In this life where misery abounds, once in a while getting a sun is luxurious. Someone comes into our lives to make us laugh, make us experience warmth and joy and bliss. The bliss will last a lifetime when good times are reminisced.
Misery abounds, sufferings is inevitable. We live our lives as safely as we can but we can’t ever avoid misfortunes and adversities. Hence, having the sun is very much welcome to us.
Who is your sun? Or, what is your sun?
As much as you enjoy the sun, don’t forget to be one as well. Don’t hesitate to appreciate, to smile if needed, bring about positivity to surroundings. While you can, be a warm person. Once you’re cold, you’ll never be while you are. So while you can, just be the warm person that you can be.
Don’t incite activities that will bring about doom. Be positive. Seek Him whenever you can. So will I. I will forever be in His care. I often forget, though I wish I won’t ever. But things doesn’t work the short way. We have to remember every day. In the morning upon waking up, we have to look up.
Sometimes, I find it hard to remember. It would be commonsense to bring up a placard that will remind us to always remember. To never forget. That He is there whenever we’re in need. We don’t have to show to everyone how we pray, but in the privacy of our rooms, we can ask Him to redeem us.
He is my sun and my redeemer. He will be my guiding light. Alas! Why is my heart still so broken and heavy! I must do something about this one.
My dear friend, upon writing every day, I can’t stop mentioning Him. No matter how I try, turn and toss, live and laugh, without Him I am nothing. I remember those almost futile attempts to excel… I just feel frustrations. But when He is with me, I feel very able. I then have to ask Him every day.
The literal sun He created. The not literal, He as well created. It is then a must to thank Him all our lives.
The best medicine therefore that we should strive to obtain is the medicine for forgetfulness. Aide memoire, placards, kodigos, signage, and many more. They must be able to let us remember. If not, why can’t we just keep it in our hearts? Why does such a single glorious moment make us forget? We should all the more glorify Him.
How often do I feel guilty of forgetfulness… I should know better. I should be more thoughtful. Why am I not thoughtful? Why do I always forget? Why do we always forget?
My dear friend, it will indeed be a dreadful event, the moment we forget. If we keep forgetting, we might be thrown down the abyss. Sometimes, abyss of no return. But then even the most impossible of things He redeems.
He is my sun, and I can’t get enough mentioning my sun. For He is my redeemer and my savior.
I look up to the sky and I may be blinded but my heart is singing gloriously. After the days of rain, we’re finally basking in his rays again. And we have to balance the beam. We prepare and do our best to secure our belongings. It would already be a commonsense to ask Him for protection. But we also should do our best to perform our part. As they say, do your best then He will do the rest.
Let the sun shine through our lives whether it is rainy season or not.
I love the face of the round-shaped celestial body
Show your face until we will have enough. Heat our cold souls and warm our weary hearts. Bring us temporary relief from the wet season. Don't hide yet from the clouds. Fight your way to the surface for the earth to see you more during this day. So that we may know that you still have your sun in you. You, sun, is important to us.
The clouds are rushing to cover you but don't be fooled by those vapors that turned white. You are yellow. You are dazzling. You can do better. Talk to the vapors so they won't block your face.
We will bring out our wet clothes, you dry them, we'll be ready for the coming rain, just in case.
I'll be going to town. By then don't give up on us. We also need your heat to kill bacteria and parasites. Some who made our young ones and ourselves sick.
The children will come out and bask in your presence. They will play as if they have not played for days. They will laugh like it's not the rainy season. They will forget the rain temporarily.
The papayas during the rain were vanquished. Will they be able to live again? They might be. As long as they are standing sturdily still.
The wet ground has dried a little. But the ground will not easily forget the rain. It will be wary and not too long it will rain again. But at least it has tasted the sun for a little while.
The stinky dogs will be bathed under you. They will once again experience your warmth. They will also, like children, play as if there's no coming rain. But at least, they get to be happy once in a while. Though it is not necessarily the case that they are melancholy during the rain.
But things we know have their purpose. The sun comes up. The clouds block the sun. The rain comes down. The plants will dance. The plants need both rain and sun. They need fresh air. They need care and warmth and the things that human needs.
It is half way through August. We are nearing the -ber months. Still the rainy season. But once in a while, dear sun, show your face to us. And we will not forget what you are to us.
A Sad Remark
How should we comply with our assignments or any requirement at school? Should we simply meet minimum requirements? Should we do it for compliance’s sake? Does it depend on some factors only?
Ideally, we do our requirement in compliance with all the instructions and requirements of the activity or assessment at the same time giving our best to accomplish them. We shouldn’t just do them in order to have something to submit. And also, we should be learning while doing all that are required of us as students.
I was having a chat with someone. He was relating a sad remark by one of his classmates. His classmate remarked, “I don’t want to do my assignment with my best anymore because the teacher will just check the form anyway, over the substance of my paper.”
What a sad remark. It made me reflect on how I scored or marked my students’ papers so far. Honestly, I didn’t do my job in compliance to my ideals. It would turn out that I was just all talk. Because, I gave myself excuse, I wanted to make my life easier, and so I just checked and checked.
Even though there are so many who would do their activities for compliance sake, there are also those who would do theirs with everything that they can give. And one way of recognizing their efforts would be to check their papers with thoughtfully.
Before any assessment, rubrics for scoring should have already been prepared. It would be best to mention there all the consequences for submitting late, for giving incomplete output, for not following instructions on syntax and mechanics, etc. All the things that we put consideration when checking, should be mentioned in our rubric.
Preparing well for assessments may really be tedious but the prize will be worth it. You can always show it to students if they complain regarding the checking. To make it better, giving comments to students’ essays will be a good thing. They will believe that you checked their papers.
We can’t blame some who feels dejected after trying their best on something. Only to find that the teacher checked only the form. A little about the substance and the rest is history.
On the other hand, there are those who just complied with requirements with little effort and they are being rewarded generously. It is understandable if the work done is indeed correct but what I am referring to are those that were done callously but were scored thoughtlessly. Sometimes it’s just unfair.
I admit that scoring is very challenging. But we entered the teaching career fully knowing what we have signed up for. It really isn’t easy, it’s not a joke, it’s not a day job, it’s a full day job. And if we feel like dragging ourselves doing the things that were mentioned in our job description, then it may be time to reconsider doing another career. Or perhaps, we should reflect and re-center ourselves. It’s not that we don’t like our job, we just failed to do some rejuvenating activities so we wouldn’t be burnout by all the pressures and stresses.
Sometimes, it’s heartbreaking as teachers to realize that we are the ones who shatter our young people’s budding self-confidence. it shouldn’t be. We should be the one to build them. I heard my philo teacher say that education can make or break. I’m not sure whether I understood his point but it seems that it literally applies sometimes. I’d like to be the one who builds. If not, at least someone who is trustworthy for the sake of students’ progress.
I am still a student myself and I would feel bad if I know that I did my best but my grade does not do justice to my efforts. I equally admit to submitting requirements for compliance but during those times, I still appreciate it if teachers give feedback, good or bad, but delivered with dignity on their part.
I don’t know! Maybe, we just do our part whatever role we play. As parent, as student, as teacher, or as anyone, we should do our best to up our system.
What a wondrous time of the year!
It would be Christmas for others to exclaim it. It's a wondrous time of year. But I say, you don’t need to wait for Christmas, every day is a wondrous day.
We're alive. We should be thankful. Today is a chance to redeem ourselves from yesterday's mistakes. Today is a chance to show ourselves that we can go on despite the trials and tribulations of life. Today is a different day, a better one we hope for.
My lighter days with my cycle is allowing me to say all these. But once in a while let us allow ourselves to be poured such delightful wonderful thoughts. When we go on our day, it pays to be positive. Good vibes to share to the ones around us. And it will be contagious. Don’t let yourself be labeled as melancholy. Sometimes, yes, sometimes, no.
I used to be a cynic person. Always the worrier, the super thrifty one (but would spend all money at the spur of the moment, a waste of the super thriftiness), the blamer, the pessimist, the critic, the always scolding person, the masochist, the narcissist…
But over the years of trudging the path, I realized there is more to life than the endless cynicism. You’ve got to be pleasant sometimes. We’re social beings, it would be indifference to lock oneself to herself/himself. We have to learn the trade of humaneness, and perhaps, we accept to ourselves that *no man is an island.* It’s pride to not take this into account.
Instead of sulking over a silly or bad remark thrown at us, let us just dodge the blade and not be hurt and just do our best. There are many techniques to dodge the hurtful things. We should first accept ourselves. Accept our limitations. We need to be gentle with ourselves. We have to take things one at a time.
When we finally accept ourselves and know our Simon’s and Peter’s then we may be able to discern what will be best for us. Don’t be beaten by wolves, by snakes, by vultures.
Everyday should be a wondrous day. We make it. We work hard for it. By being positive. Hoping for the best. For everyone, friend and foe alike. Peace reign in our midst. We desire it.
Realizations of a Confused Noob (Just some meta)
She thought it was that easy. It may have been. For some time. For a while. Those times when she didn’t care about what others might think about her writing, about her style, about what she writes, about what content she lets out into the open. Though she knew in herself that she has always given honest content. It would be forgivable when she just wasn’t so clear with how she narrated her stories sometimes due to lack of knowledge on how to express well. But she has learned so much.
It was rather easy for her to put words into paper or on any device she could access when she had been dealing with some of her troubles before. She always got a lot of inspiration. She wrote fast because she had a lot to say. The motivation was enormous, too huge to waive. Those times she needed to confide but couldn’t confide on anyone but thru writing.
Those were the times!
But as she emerges from the pit, she found it harder and harder to write. With all the other responsibilities… She found herself dragging herself to write.
No, not really, it’s not about the added responsibilities. It must have been the fact that she was growing weary writing by the day. She needed to look at writing at a fresh angle. It would be tough reviewing all those things she has written in favor of writing.
She had to exploit whatever creativity left in her. She just needed to write again without minding anybody. What was she good at? What topics did she know best? She just had to relearn how to write. How wonderful has it felt before? She needed to feel that again!
Her plights? Too many to mention. Some she couldn’t even put into words as clearly as she would have wanted. And she may even just be misunderstood! What a pity it has come to this! But this may just be normal for anyone of her circumstance. She refused to contact Google. To see what come would come out of the search engine.
When did she like writing? When was the last time she talked about how she came to try this wondrous hobby (or career)? On many occasions, she recounts those points when she was able to finally get the courage to let her mind be known.
Perhaps, she’s just being pushed back by some unknown force. But she won’t be defeated. Not yet, not now that she is finally seeing the light of the day.
Hurl those words! Type those awkwardness! Do not be afraid of typo! Soren was someone of the past to be thanked for! He said ***not to despise typographical errors***. He said ***to become witty by means of typographical errors may be considered a legitimate way to become witty***. She actually had a hard time digesting some of the pages of that great book but in the end learned a lot.
What sense were those learnings if not put to good use? She came across Natalie. She read through her! Yes! Writing is the new religion. She agrees with her! With many others, she and those others agree with Natalie. If it’s indeed the new religion, then it is her new religion—writing!
But in the ocean of all her considerations, she managed to be confused. She managed to distort her own thinking. What was she thinking? What outrageous thoughts has she been brewing on her mind?
Think deeper, appreciate more, don’t take things for granted. She tells herself to just go on. Or stop in order to think clearer. She may just needed a break. Just a short break. Not yet a burnout. How long has she written to experience such already? Not that long, she’s a newbie, a noob.
Don’t rush. Dance gracefully. When you dance, you just dance in order to succeed at dancing. But when you dance glancing sideward or wherever, then you lose your grace, you forget your steps, you become conscious and you lose your confidence. Just dance on until you’re done.
Now she’s taking it better again, having cleared some of the fogs of her mind. Nothing should stop anyone from self-expression. It’s a psychological battle sometimes. She will have to realign her heart and her mind with her goals and aspirations.
When finally, she realized what she needed to realize, she felt a stronger desire to write. She may not even need a break anymore.
Be inspired. Always…
Writing...
... over a cup of coffee...
*All photos from Unsplash*
When did you become what you have become?
*You woke up one day and you see yourself in the mirror then wonder, when did I become like this? How in the world did I turn out like the one I see in the mirror?!*
*Slow down... Respect, my friend, respect. You shouldn't forget the struggles and the situations you faced in order to get where you are now. Some things turned out for the better while others became uglier. But it is not for you to condemn yourself for it. It is hard to see the balance all the time. Otherwise, how can you call yourself a human if you are perfect?*
*You did your best on some tasks while ignoring other aspects of your life. But as long as you remain healthy and pleasant, that will be more than enough to keep you going.*
*Remain strong. Don't falter. If you ever wish to consider resigning yourself, just chill out, don't think about anything. Then see your situation from afar. You'll be amazed that others are dying to take your place.*
*So while it's not yet late, do something worthwhile. While you can. No no no no, you are very able. It shouldn't even be a drag. Come on, jump the jumping jack if you must so you could shake the numbness in your system.*
*What has caused you to be stiff and unmoving? What has caused your bitterness? You are bitter? Think again... You like it, didn't you? You like the bitterness. No wonder, even ampalaya is delicious to many.*
*The next time you condemn yourself, think better. You deserve a pat in the back! You deserve to be appreciated. Go for a walk, straighten your back. Stretch your legs, take a deep breath, shout if you must, let things go! Or hold on to things. Depends. But make sure to keep it healthy.*
*Reflect and go back to the old times. Think of happy memories, but respect the ugly ones. Keep the balance in your mind. You have your faults, others did have faults, but the blaming game shouldn't keep on. There must always be a way out if we keep being positive.*
*So don't give up! You have a good life ahead. Actually, you've had a good life so far. There were ups and downs, crazy moments, dull moments, exhilarating experiences, heart aches, frustrations, etc... But those made life even more colorful and rich.*
*This is just self-talk and not a reproach. To look back to one's life and assure thy self may be one of the incited moments we can always give ourselves in order to be able to have a fresh new start at any point in our lives.*
*Meanwhile, the heavy rain has stopped. There are still drizzles from time to time but its already friendlier outside. What has made life easier nowadays than before would be the emergence of machines in my life. There has always been a washing machine but it was only now that I have allowed myself some help. So that deserves another something to be thankful of. I finally let go of my pride to hand wash everything.*
*Life is more bearable when you do not see mountains and mountains of laundry. Just few turns and you're done with the hardest part.*
*When did I become like this? It just turned out I became like how I am now. I lived my life. I bore the pain. I caught up with whatever life had offered me so far.*
*With the help of many, things or people, I was able to survive. Combined with my desire to live a life. I so wanted a life. And I was given it.*
*Whatever we become, we should try our best not to put the blame on others. We've had our pair of feet to have stand our decisions. We may have failures but sure we also had our successes. Glorious moments we basked in... But of course, sad moments we wallowed for sometimes.*
*I realized that there are times we feel so much dumb. But on we go and find our wit again. It doesn't do us any good to be stuck with the hole of ignorance. We must learn what we can. If ignorance could have been an excuse, then everybody should have feigned it in order to get out of tough situations. But it life doesn't allow that. We should always be ahead of ourselves if at all possible. Ahead in a way that we learn things, not brag about things that are not yet achieved.*
**You ask when did you become what you have become? The answer lies somewhere. Not in others but within you. You, you have the memories of your life. Only you know the answer to that question. The answer lies somewhere in you. Again, once in a while, it pays us well to look back and have a self-check.**
@FrieLincs
