Consoling the bereaved.
I couldn't see the mother of the late young man among the many people I met in the sitting room. I had wanted to see her and give my condolences but I was told that she was in her room with her loved ones. In the middle of the big sitting room stood a table where sympathizers go to sign a condolence book. Everyone had something good to say about the deceased.
Unlike the lavish burial ceremony that is held for a person who had died at a ripe old age, the funeral of festus was kept simple. Since he was still a young man, his death had been unfortunate and there was absolutely nothing to celebrate about.
As soon as the coffin of the deceased was lowered into the earth, his mother sprang forward in an awful run and was about to leap into the grave before she was restrained by other mourners. This was not the first time I would be seeing such a scene at a burial ceremony as it's quite common in my side of the world. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if a grieving mother or wife is not restrained . Would she just shut her eyes while crying and holding the coffin and let them bury her alive with him?
The loss of a dear one could be one of the most painful experiences a person can ever pass through. Sometimes, it's quite difficult to know what to say to such a person since you can't even pretend that you know what they are passing through.
They are mostly inconsolable during this period and one might feel awkward around them. But you wouldn't leave them alone in that state as they need all the support and care they could get so that they could be able to cope with the pain.
There are different ways people might grieve. Some are able to bottle up all the emotions even if the heart are shredding to pieces. While others just have to let it all out, screaming at the creator, chastising death and the deceased for abandoning them or even fuming at other mourners who try to console them as they cry for hours nonstop.
There's also no set period for grieving over a loved one. For some, the period of getting better could spend up to a year while fir others, it could take a longer or shorter period.
In such situations, don't try to persuade a saddened heart to get over it or make them look as if they are mourning longer than necessary. You would only succeed in making things worse by reopening old wounds.
Instead, express genuine concern by listening to the bereaved. Allow them to talk and think about the deceased for the meantime since they never see them again.
Don't feel uncomfortable or afraid of bringing up or referring to the dead person in your conversation with the bereaved do long as you keep saying pleasant things about their memory. Nice things about them, the impact they had made in the lives of others and how they would continue to be remembered for a long time. This would definitely lighten the heart if the breaved knowing that their loved one had lived a honourable and admirable life.
Don't forget to always check up on and be there for the bereaved. Do not hesitate to offer a lot of unsolicited assistance as possible.
Thank you .
As a human being I don't look to see tears in any human eyes. I want to see and pray for all creation happiness.