How to react in situations where conditions or ultimatums are imposed
Situations everyone has been in without exaggeration: "Either you do this or...", "If you do this, then I...". Substitute your options.
This is abused by parents, forcing their child to do their homework: "Either you do your homework, or you stay home for a week," "If you don't study well, you won't get a present.
Abused by husbands or wives: "Either you help out around the house, or I don't need that kind of family," "If you spend the weekend with friends, I'm packing."
Employers don't deny themselves the pleasure: "Either you stay late and do your job, or look for another place," "If you don't go out on your day off for free, we don't need you."
The wording in the examples is crude and exaggerated. Although some have heard them in exactly that way.
In any case, all of this is blatant blackmail, ultimatums and conditions. Blatant crude manipulation, driving the interlocutor into a corner. Coercing the other to dance to his tune.
More often than not, all this is also accompanied by a rigid limitation of time to make a decision. This is especially evident in sales: "Either you buy it today at this price, or tomorrow, but at a much higher price," "If you don't buy it today, tomorrow the product may be gone. How can you not make a spontaneous buying decision?
A trap from which there is no escape. Choice without choice.
Take your time. It is clear that the first reaction will be to accept the conditions of the manipulator and do as he says. Or vaguely object, try to soften the terms, to bargain for at least some kind of indulgence.
But as soon as you do this, you are hooked without the right to get off the hook. The first concession opens up opportunities for the next. The manipulator will realize that this trick works for you and will use it again and again.
How to proceed
There are several options:
- Pretend to be willing to have a dialogue and discuss your options. Just don't ask for a postponement of execution, but specifically discuss the possibility. In exceptional cases, insist. The main thing is not to show weakness and a readiness to accept conditions.
-Set your own conditions in response. You an ultimatum, you an ultimatum in response. Beware! Could lead to a conflict or violent scandal. You should prepare for this in advance and conduct a dialogue in a calm tone.
- Reply that the ultimatums do not work for you, the conditions do not intend to and in general you are free to decide when, how, with whom, and what you will do. Are you not satisfied? That is not your problem. Also rude and can lead to emotional outbursts, but it's temporary. It won't make the manipulators leave you alone and stop pestering you with their conditions.
The stupidest thing is to show fear. There is no need to be afraid. All these blackmailers rarely go beyond words. The classic use of sedatives with demonstrative portrayals of malaise, which some individuals of both sexes theatrically suffer from, is nothing more than a one-actor performance for an unlimited audience.
Remain as you are.
I believe there will be no war 🇺🇦
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I thank God for his help in writing this article, and you, dear readers, praise him if your reading has been helpful to you.
I want to know your opinion.
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Good luck to you readers read.cash🖐
22.02.2022.
@Belozoriana
My dad was a very strict parent and I swear, I have through a lot when I was a kid. Not saying he's bad though, but it have impacted me some kind of trauma in the past. This is why I make sure that won't happen to my daughter.