Compliments you should be wary of

Do you like compliments? And the people who say them to you? Nothing better than a passing comment about how beautiful you look today! And the color of your clothes adorn you beautifully! That's fantastic!

But these are harmless compliments. You say them because you really mean them, or because you want to please the other person. In the latter case, it's also not without reason, but not without a caption. 

In general, enjoy these compliments, appreciate them, and be grateful for them. And don't skimp on the compliments either. No one has ever felt worse about it.

There are compliments too, when you hear them, you need to listen, stop and find out what's really behind them. They are sweet as honey. They're withered. Glue. Leaving behind a sense of bitterness and loss. Here they are:

All compliments that, in one way or another, affect your mental faculties. For example: 'You, as a person with a broad outlook...', 'You, as a person with a higher education and...', 'You, as a person who best understands the subject...'.

The usual compliments as seen from the side. Even to match reality. If compliments on appearance seem like a subjective assessment, the ones listed are based on undeniable facts. Isn't that right?

They are not. You can have all the qualities listed in the examples, and that's great. 

What is not great is what follows from these sentences. For example, "You, as an educated person, will agree with the proposed solution because it is optimal." 

And you are trapped. An educated man? Educated! And if you are, you must agree with what is proposed, even if you disagree internally. Otherwise you come across as uneducated. And that cannot be allowed. After all, it has been announced to everyone: an educated man! And what is the logic: an educated man agrees, an uneducated man argues.

The compliments that affect your status. Examples: 'You, as a distinguished expert...', 'You, as a man of refined taste...', 'You, as a person to be looked up to and upheld...'.

These compliments are not only flattering, they are awesome. After all, it all depends on the opinion of others. Well, unless it's a truly proven fact and you've already been awarded the employee of the month statuette.

These compliments are scary because they force you to live up to expectations. They tell you that you are the best, so you have to act and think like it. 

How do you think? Yes, as the compliment goes on to say: again, I agree with what I say next. Even if he doesn't think so.

Compliments on personal qualities. For example: 'You as a person are honest, honest, decent and ...'. Again, someone's subjective opinion. After all, you may not consider yourself such an angel.

But again, you have to meet expectations and agree with what follows. Otherwise, your golden man image will crumble overnight.

All these compliments are an old and worn-out manipulation trick that forces you to conform to someone's stated expectations and do what you don't want to do. Otherwise, the fragile image of a bright person will collapse.

The trick works flawlessly. Even people with maximum self-control fall for it. How can you disagree with someone who sees the best in you? 

It's actually very simple. For example. And as an educated man, I am against that choice. That's all. 

Be the wonderful person whose image this compliment has created for you. But be yourself.

Photo: istockphoto.com

I thank God for his help in writing this article, and you, dear readers, praise him if your reading has been helpful to you.

I want to know your opinion.

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Good luck to you readers read.cash🖐

20.02.2022.

@Belozoriana