Who Am I?

Blog #41

October 19, 2021

Hello everyone! Happy Tuesday!

This article today is somewhat related to what I published yesterday because I am talking about me today. If you haven't read it, you can read it here.

Did you talk to yourself when you are looking at your reflection in the mirror? What did you ask or say to yourself?

Whenever I look at the mirror, I can't help asking myself, who am I? Am I the woman that I wanted me to be or I am another person who others want me to be? After questioning myself, I paused for a minute and examine myself. I then realized that sometimes I am the woman I want to be and sometimes not. What made me say this? It's because I am a different person when I face many people. I act according to where I am. If I am by myself that is when I reveal my true self. I am prim and proper when I am with everybody. If I am alone, I can be who I am. I can go crazy, I can laugh and I can show my feelings without hesitation. Why am I like this? Am I a great pretender? Maybe you can say yes or maybe not.

How many times did I pretend? Many times, I can't count it anymore. I pretend that I was okay when others criticize me but the truth is I was hurt so bad. I pretend that I am strong in front of everybody but little did they know that when I was alone I cried like a baby. I need to pretend in front of them because I am afraid that they will see the weak side of me and they will use it against me. I need to pretend to protect myself from other people who only want my downfall.

Over and over again, I said to myself that I should live freely. Free to open my wings and fly then explore the world. I should not let other people stop me from stepping forward. I should not let those voices stop me from discovering my hidden potential.

As I am exploring the world, I meet new people with different personalities. They became my friends but later on became my ex because of the things that they did to me. I thought they were real but I was wrong. They were just there because they need something from me. And because of this experience, I learn not to trust people easily.

Many people say that I have changed. Yes, it's true. I change. But those changes are not harmful to me. I change to protect myself from those abusive people. I changed because it's the best thing to do. I changed for the better.

I am happy today with the new version of myself. I don't care what they would say about me anymore. They can call me selfish, it's okay. I just learn to love myself more than everybody else.

That is the real me. Will you still treat me as your friend?

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Happy Tuesday!

God bless and keep safe everyone!