Dear Prof,
It's another gloomy weather here today from where I am writing. I have not seen the sun for days already. I missed the warmth, and the brightness of it since it seemed to be the only light in my life I would ever see.
This rainy season reminds me of the tears I shed every single night that I remember how hopeless and how difficult my situation is. Sometimes I wonder what am I doing with my life. Why do I have to love and care for for someone who does not even see my worth, not to mention does not even care about what I do. I end up always asking myself why should I be such a fool to have fallen for somebody who looks at another soul. I don't believe that I could take any more of this. But even so, I love her more and more each day and every day it gets harder and the pain grows with it.
Let me just paint a clearer picture of my situation for your perusal. I am totally, and head over heels into this girl at work. She's a colleague of mine and she has been for some time now. We have grown close together since she's so easy to get along with and really fun to be with. We became friends quicker than it took her to be accustomed to the job.
I have been so good to her and guided her to the ins and outs of our jobs. It was not asked, nor solicited but I just wanted to help her for helping's sake. And we spent lots of time together and talked a whole lot more. We spent much of everyday together, from breakfast to lunch breaks. Sometimes even dinner.
And then without me even realizing it, I have grown attached to her more and more. I found myself doing this little things like waiting for her at the stop in the morning so we could walk to the office together, same thing when the day is over. At times when I get to work early, I took it upon myself to even wash her tumbler, put it back on her desk with a sachet of coffee ready accompanied by a sticky note that says "Smile, start the day right :) ". I even found myself to be creative since I have to come up with messages like that every time I do that.
Things, petty things as they seem, but as I think about them in retrospect, I did everything to catch her attention and to be on her good side.
And we are just so close that one day she's opened up to me saying that she's considering taking in another guy to be her boyfriend. It felt like my heart was sent under a hydraulic press and it was devastatingly crushed between the cold hard truth and a metal.
I had to watch on the sidelines as they got together and suffer with her when he acts like a total stupid jerk. I don't know what it was but I told her how I felt and it seemed that she just shrugged it or my words didn't even reach her mind. She does not care for any of it. But still, I'm still how I'm used to be with her. I don't know why.
And such is the situation of a lonely heart. Thanks for your time Professor and thank you for reading my letter.
Yours truly,
Morris
Response :
Dear Morris,
First off, quite a name you got there. There's something really masculine and strong meaning that comes off from that name, in my opinion. Now that I have that single point of distraction off the way let me give you my gratitude for this wonderful letter that came into my lap this evening. Just in time for my night cup. Now let me get into a comfortable position to write my correspondence to your nice little letter here.
Your whole situation begins and ends in an old yet ever relatable saying "The heart wants what it wants."
Naïve are those who falls blindly in love. But what's love really if not a foolish state of reason? I always tell people, you have no right to love, and you will have no chance in love if you could not accept to be foolish. Love is just a fool's game, that's it.
Indeed, it is quite amusing that you could not see the similarities in your situations, yours and the girl's. You are both in love with the idea that you cannot have. You are wanting the girl, she wanting another guy. Isn't the world a funny place eh? And as soon as you can accept that fact that you are in a similar state, the more you realize and the more you will understand her. It's just that, the heart really wants what it wants. You could not force her to like you, same as you could not force to stop your love for her.
You stated that you feel that she does not care for you or for what you do for her? My advice is to put that observation to an ultimate test. This may help you too, in more ways than you could ever think of.
STOP. Whatever you're doing for her, or with her. STOP it. It may be hard at first but it's a surefire way to put all the things that are affecting your relationship in perspective. If you are doing all those sweet nothings for her, stop it. You are eating out with her, stop it. It may seem awkward at first but it's the best you can do for now.
That way, a lot of things may also clear out. There is also a saying in life that you will only miss what you lost, people only tend to realize the importance and value of something only when they lost it. Who knows, maybe when she realized that you're gone and she misses you and the things you do, you may sway her attention towards your side of things.
On the other hand, if she didn't even pay attention to what she's lost, then you already have your clear answer that she does not really want anything to do with you and start your healing process by accepting that harsh but very possible reality. You can start your lonely and long walk towards moving on.
That was just my 2 cents on the matter but as I said, the heart wants what it wants. If you can endure what you are doing now, then so be it, but as you say, you can't take it anymore, then let go.
I wish you good luck with you adventures in life. And until the next time.
Love,
Prof.
Hello mate!
Raining quite a lot lately, still. How are you this rainy evening? Are you as cold as the window pane exposed in the winter's chill? I hope not. I would just like to say that you warmed my heart just by visiting this humble page of mine, thank you very much. I would love to hear from you and talk about things of any nature. Just drop a comment down below and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
How did you like the letter for today? Was it good? Was it meh? What do you think about the prof's response? If you were on that position, what would you do?
Anyway, this is already the 13th installment of this series. I hope that it's just something special since 13 has a special place in my heart. And if you want to read the previous letters, you can check them out here, I lined them up for you :
Letter no. 11 : Am I Not Enough?
Letter no. 12 : Forget Him Not
I really appreciate your presence here and let me express it with a toast, here's to us and all that our hearts want ...
Cheers!!!
Wow! It's wasn't just nice or good but I'm really blown away... My 1st read of the series and I can't wait to read the other 12. Hahaha! I'm tempted to ask, I am in a situation where I want to vent and receive an advise from the professor, how do I send the professor the letter? Lolz. I'm now an instant, an avid fan!!! Cheers! Lovely.