Dear Professor,
My name is Jenica and I just have to let it all out before anything else. I had this relationship from years ago that in simple words, I can't even seem to move on. I am now married with a son and from time to time, almost every other day, I still think about Kevin. He's the guy I have dated before my current husband.
You may call me crazy and all that but I think that it was real love that we had found, him and I, but through some circumstances that we could not control nor conquer, we had to part ways to follow each other's paths.
I wanted to follow my dream of being an actress and he wanted to reach his dreams being a world-class pâtissier which led us to go our own ways. He pursued his calling and he went to Paris and I went to Los Angeles and tried my luck to be an actress. I had a few gigs for the first few years but nothing really big panned out. I made my living through waitressing and dancing provocatively.
I met Liam in one of my jobs and we had just been together ever since. He is a really good guy and a good provider. He's working as a salaryman and what he's making, it's all enough for us. I quit my jobs when I got pregnant with our son and we've been happy.
There is no problem, nothing at all but I just want to know if what I am feeling and thinking is normal. It's been years since I have last seen Kevin but even if Liam and I make love, I still see Kevin's face and feel his touch. There's still that longing feeling but I know that I love Liam and I am happy with him, I am just worried that I am losing my mind. And yes before I forgot, my son's name is Kevin too. If that helps.
Love,
Jenica
Response
Jenica Dear,
Thank you for reaching out to me my child, it's really hard to get through to me these days, that's why I'm had my good friend hook me up with an e-mail. I still am trying to get the hang of it. I am still amazed how the whole mailing system fits in this little thing called laptop.
It's quite convenient to have my correspondence in this little tv thingy while I am on this beach front porch in the Bahamas. I like it here, it's peaceful, the water's serene and the ladies are not too bad, not too bad at all.
Amusing to think though that in the past few days, I have been messaged by a prince of Nigeria, and there lots of bank asking for my account details. I am ignoring all of them, to hell with you guys. But I decided to answer your mail since I think that it is the first time I am using this e-mail stuff.
It sounds to me that you have lingering feelings for your past flame and you could not shake those feelings away. But by jove! Why do you have to name your kid Kevin? Are you trying to make yourself crazy? I just hope that he's got a second name or a nickname cause you might want to be calling your kid another name.
In plain and simple terms, it seems like you haven't really moved on from your past relationship. I think the best thing to do is reach out to Kevin and have some closure. But that might be dangerous for you since it may cause more confusion rather than clarity.
There's this thing you can try but it could make or break your marriage. You can tell your husband about Kevin, but I imagine that there will be hell to pay after this big fight. Depending on his attitude he may help you find your way to clarity or he may leave you altogether.
You may also seek the help of a professional if the opportunity and the means permits.
But for now, I would just like you to focus on the things that matter, your family, your kid and your husband. Maybe it will go away someday, maybe not, but I want you to channel everything you have, your thoughts, your ideas and everything that you do to your family. Maybe if you fake it enough, you will find yourself rid of that longing feeling from the ghost of the past.
As soon as you accept that the past has passed and as soon as you buried the regrets you may have, the sooner you will be able to move on. Accept first that you are in this situation and acknowledge it, it's real and it needs to heal.
I may be vague at the moment but just focus with your present, everything will be clearer.
Love,
Prof
Hey there!
Howdy do?! It's been a while since we have heard from the professor, apparently the old dude is hanging out in the Bahamas, what a life. I want to spend some time there too. Laying there on the sand, watching them girls going to and fro with their beach bodies. Hey prof take me with you sometimes.
Dreaming aside, I would like to thank you for being here and I would like to say that I really appreciate the time you spent reading on in this random post of mine.
This post is a part of an on-going series and if you would like to read the previous parts, the links are here, please give them a read too :
Thank you very much and as always ...
Cheers!!!
Wow nice article