A few days ago, my mother unfortunately caught me using my phone during 10 PM, and I was primarily doing my article which should I publish tomorrow. As a result, she decided to charge my phone on their bed, and I couldn't help but to feel sorrow.
If you have a bit of idea on my schedule at producing blogs, I'm frequently publishing every evening. Relatively, I'm also reading your articles every evening since I want peace and coordination. Maybe that's my body clock to write.
However, I guess that my power in grinding Bitcoin Cash during nighttime suddenly faded, and I unconsciously left dumbfounded through what I've done. It feels like my efforts here are vanished, as I felt scammed and manipulated by my biological parents. They abruptly used their power to invert the fake and truth, and I supposedly concluded that I'm unfortunately living in a toxic world.
How can I officially call them as my biological parents if they already have an enough idea that I'm grinding for our future? To be frank, they obviously want me to protect my health by resting my eyes, but they're actually trying to manipulate my emotions. They wanted to be superior, and I'm already sucks at these cycling occurrence.
Personally, I'm not frowned on what they did since health is one of the greatest asset that we should maintain. However, it feels like they're just trying to make my world worse. I feel like a big penny will be wasted since I can only make further noises through nighttime, and I guess that I should make a proper time management for this volatile world.
When she finally adjourned yesterday that my phone will be charged in their bed, I couldn't help but to feel hopeless since my dream that I pondered just wasted for nothing.
As I told before in my article, I have a specific and optimistic dream with them why I'm grinding hardly, and they just urged me to dumb that sketched canvas. Moreover, they pushed me through the point that I need to think independently, and I think that they only care on what people would say.
Likewise, they're just trying to act nice when they needed me the most, and I thought that they would stick to that strange action. Then, after a week of surrendering that hard-earned money which I invested even it's time to go in bed, everything went back to normal. They didn't actually have a plan to pay back their pending debt that I should utilizing for buying for my phone, and I went disappointed. I should accept that harsh truth since I can't go back that passive salary of my two months grinding here.
Even I could buy a new phone for myself, they'll still control it as they only care about what people will say, and I felt envious through my cousins since they didn't experience it. In the middle of transferring this article that I wrote firstly in my notebook, I couldn't help but to cry in grief as my dreams are currently controlled.
Personally, I looked like an awful kid while writing this article, since I feel like they're just using me an instrument to make our family fragrant. Relatively, I'm just feeling anxious through my other cousins since they didn't experience what I've been experienced.
Every time that I will cope with this depressing situation, I couldn't help but to hear these inevitable sentences.
“Kung ayaw mo sumailalim sa amin, mamuhay ka na mag-isa mo...”
“Kung lahat kaya ng pinakain ko sa'yo, kuwentahin ko.”
“Hindi ka kawalan, bugok”
See? They just want to pay their favor by helping them financially, and I admit that I would be overly manipulated if I will stay along through their house. Of course, I need to respect them since we're not just blood related.
Sorry, but this article proved to me that I need to prioritize and love myself. Moreover, I hope that you would not feel bad on my sensitivity. I don't have choice as of the moment, but I can be free someday if I would be financially freedom.
Looking for my future boarding house, Nueva Ecija area only.
Despite that decision, I can still do other things that I want which I can use for grinding without my phone, and I hope that you are okay. Don't worry, I'm just disappointed and having a suicidal thoughts when I wrote that. I still have a lot of goals in future that I need to achieve.
I have a piece of advice that you may not like to listen to. I'll offer it with good intention and hope you'll also find a suitable solution to your frustrations.
Losing your phone during sleeping hours is not the end of your future and definitely not the end of the world. I do respect your tenacity and determination to write and earn BCH. You are doing well from what I can see.
However, if your parents only object to your using the phone at night, then why not have a notebook and pen and write on it your ideas? The next day, just transfer these onto your phone before posting. That way, you'll have a hard copy of your article and a posted one on your phone.