My reasons why I am not close to my parents

56 60
Blog:204-10th
Date :November 12,2022
Time :06:18pm

I grow up seeing them fighting and shouting at each other. We always heard them talking shit to each other.I guess di lang talaga magkasundo ang parents ko.It was not easy for us to grow in that kind of environment.

My father seems to yell most of the time.Ika nga parang high-blood palagi.We even made a joke when he always yelled while talking, we said hong-hong pa Gani na niya(He is just whispering). I lived with my parents until I finish my elementary years. I have to be away from them since I had to be a working student until I finish my high school. Living away from them is quite peaceful.No more shouting and fighting yet growing away from my parents was the reason why I am not close to them. Imagine in my teenage life no one was guiding me. When I had my first period no one educates me on what to do.Before I had my period I was even wondering if paano ba isusuot yung napkin di ba yun nahuhulog? I just find out how to use it when the time I had my period. I was alone at that time in my aunt's house(where I work as a working student). I have to figure out by myself how to put it up on my undies. Kaloka diba? I was 13 or 14 years old at that time.

Since I am just a working student I can't ask for anything I want from my aunt. I can only ask if it is school related. I didn't grow up having nice fancy clothes, or nice shoes. I even remember I was in my first year in high school when my cheap school shoes got broken and one of my classmates make fun of it.

I only got the chance to see my parents during the town fiesta at my aunt's place. I don't celebrate Christmas with them. After I graduated from high school I only stayed for a while at my parent's place before I decided to find a job in Cagayan de Oro city. I was only 16 at that time. I was left with no choice since my parents can't send me to college.

Now fast-forward, to when I got pregnant with my eldest my mom was mad at me, I was only 17 years old at that time. I ruin my life by getting pregnant at an early age plus the father of my baby wanted to abort our baby. He is not ready for the responsibility. Of course, I didn't agree with what he wanted. Anyway, I've written an article about why end up being a single mom. Just click it here.

So when the time I stayed back at my parents' place I was already pregnant. I heard a lot of hurtful words from my mom. It is like she is blaming me for what happened. Of course, I admit it was my fault for getting pregnant at an early age but bringing it back over and over again is not good. I even tell my mom to just kill me because I can't take the pain anymore because she keeps on bringing up the issue over and over again. I understand that I failed her but it already happen.

There was a time also that even if I am not living with my parents anymore, she still monitor me like I am a teenager. I know she is just afraid I might get impregnated again. Well, I am not that stupid enough to do the same mistake coz I know how hard to take care of and raise my child alone. Of course, I do understand that being a parent will never stop even if we get older but the sense of trust, but I never get that from my mom.

My mom was never my best friend, I can't tell her anything. All else she will judge me. Imagine she should be the one who knows me better but I already accept that I am always the bad daughter for her. She is the kind of mom that will push you down, I never heard any uplifting words from her. All I hear from her is it's all because of me. I am this, I am that. I am always the bad one.

In the eyes of my father, I am a slut. A dirty person. Now I understand that no matter how many good things you did for someone they will only remember your mistake. I remember when the time my dad called me dirty. I really feel so hurt hearing it from my own father. I was the one who provide the needs at home. I feed them but all he can say is I am dirty. So I told him yes I am dirty but remember this dirty person is the one who feeds you when you don't have anything.

For now that I have my own family and living away from them, I kinda find a little peace of mind not being with them. Honeslty I have a toxic family. How I wish I could describe my parents in a nice way, how I wish I could say they are a good example as a couple and even as parents but I can't.All I hear from my dad is cursing. All I hear from my mom is complaining. My mom and dad live with my eldest and youngest brothers who are both pabuhat or pabigat.They are not living as a family they are like board mates. Glad I am living away from them now, less stressed about them.

Ending thoughts

I am not close to both of my parents but I do love them, it is just staying with them is stressful, I don't want to be in a toxic family anymore. I have my own family to deal with now and even if my husband didn't agree with a lot of things but we tried to adjust to each other and choose not to fight anymore.

As a parent of two, I will my best to be close and sweet to both of them coz I want them to feel that I can be their best friend too. I don't want them to be afraid of me. I just want them to respect me as their mom.

Photos used in this article are all owned by yours truly unless it is stated.

Lead Image and thumbnail edited using Canva

To my ever-dearest daily readers, upvoters, and likers. thank you for your precious time and for your efforts. I love you all.

To my amazing and generous sponsors who have been supporting me since from the start thank you so much for inspiring me to do better each day.

Sponsors of alicecalope
empty
empty
empty

21
$ 2.75
$ 2.23 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.25 from @Coolmidwestguy
$ 0.06 from @Erickchristianmontajes
+ 11

Comments

I can totally understand why you're not close with your parents. In fact I am not super close to mine's either. As an adult I managed to repair my relationship with my dad, but I don't think it would be possible to achieve if I heard such words from him as you heard from your parents. I also felt much more at peace as soon as I moved out from their place.

Hang in there girls. Your new family is much more important now 💙

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yes my own family is more important especially my kids. Thank you

$ 0.00
1 year ago

katong gamay pa ko close gyud mi sa akong papa. katong teenager na, sige na silag away. close man pod mi sa akong mama. awayon nako akong papa if iya shagitan akong mama. mosukol man pod ko. rest in peace na akong both parents. heart to heart talk gyud mi before intawn sila nahanaw sa kalibotan.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Akong mama dzai ky always Lang gidaog daog sa akong papa. This month mubalikay napud ug Cebu akong mama ky manganakay ang asawa sa ako bro nga naa Cebu nagpoyo. Hopefully Adto nalang si Mama sa ako ky Arun di na siya mastress

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Unfortunately, when we are more cruel to ourselves, others can become our priority. We may start to care more about the opinions of others and get into the habit of seeking approval from others.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Cruel to ourselves??

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Makahilak mn sd ta ug lansang ani sis ui huhuhu. Mura nmn nuon kag adopted diay. Di mn ingon ana ako parents pud mski tuod naa mi mga sayup ug normal jud pangkulatahon mi sauna. Kaisog sa dgway sa imo papa ui. kuyawan mn sd ta hehehe, mas isog pa sko tatay ba.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Lagi sis sakit huna2x on ba nga imbes sila parents nako ang dapat mulaban or Mas nakaila Nak pero sila naman mismo mujudged nako

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ay nku di ni maau ba. Dpat sila pa gni musabot nimo. Maayu ra sd palayo rkn ka para naa ka peace of mind sis.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yes Mas naa nakoy peace of mind run

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ako naman sis hindi din ako close sa nanay ko..pero hindi naman siya ganun kahursh sakin. Grabeh noh? Naiimagine ko palang yung environment na kinalakihan mo parang maluluka ako sa sobrang toxic. Good thing at lumaki kang strong and independent.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Kaya ako laging naghahanap ng pagmamahal sa ibang tao sis. Naging strong and independent dahil na rin sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Grabe siya.. Nagpakasarap si kuya tapos hindi aakuhin ang responsibilidad niya bilang ama.. Pero ok na din yun atleast nalaman muna kung ano totoo niyang kulay.. And I know naman na you are doing your best to be a good mom to your 2 kids..

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Okay na Yun it's been 15 years ago

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Sound like a rough childhood. Things happen for a reason. We learn from the good and bad things are parents have done. It makes us who we are today. Learning from the bad things has probably allowed you to be a better mother to your children. I don't think children fail their parents so much, rather than the parents fail them.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I am trying my best to be a good mother to my kids

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Im sure you are, they are your number 1 priority.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yes

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I feel.so.sad reading your story. While I am very much close with my parents, little did I know there are people out there who are having trouble problems with their parents. I am sad that you had to go through those things. Parents are supposed to be the first people to know what's happening to us. I do hope that someday, you will find a way to get closer together :)

$ 0.01
1 year ago

You are blessed to have that kind of relationship with your parents.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I think I am. It's a beautiful thing in this world to have your parents as your best friends. But, I know, you are doing it with your daughter, for sure, you and your daughter will become best friends.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

True it should be that way and you are right that's what I am doing with daughter. We talk like best friends

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You may have not grown closer to your parents, but at least you are doing your best with your daughter.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yeah that's true.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Kapait sa diay nimo ug past experience sis nuh,pero bilib ko nimo kay strong and independent ka as a woman.I wish I would be like you also

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Strong ko sis cause I have God with me. Siguro Kung negative Lang ko ug mindset siguro nakahuna2x nako ug suicide pero tungod ky Daan pas high school pako God was been my best friend every time naa koy probs si God akong ka storya jud bisan pa ug dili na literal nga mutubag ug mutingog si God pero I know andam siya always nga maminaw nako. Tungod sa tanang trials nga akong naagian Mao ng ing ani ko ka strong pero even of strong ko I am still a soft hearted person and very sensitive kaayo ko nga tao

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Sad to know the story behind the reason kung bakit di kayo close ng parents mo sis. Damang dama ko yung pian mo during that times. Yan ang nakakalungkot minsan, dapat magulang ang una anting kakampi sa lahat ng bagay, ib ayung sakit kapag sila pa yung unang huhusga at magdodown sa atin. By the way, you are a strong person ate, I salute you for that. I am glad that you are okay now and trying your best to be a good mother and a wife. God bless you always sis.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Tama sis it's never been easy for me kasi nga siya dapat ang Mas nakakakilala sa akin pero Mali eh na siya mismo ang manghuhusga sa akin. Salamat sa admiration mo sis.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Sorry about how you feel. I'm glad you now have your family and you're happy where you are. Your parents will always be your parents. Just forgive them and don't be far from them. You may not tell them everything but you still need to be close to them, please.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I forgive them already. How I can share anything with my mom when she will only look me down or judge me after

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Reading your story, I just want to give you a hug. Me too I am not that close to my father but my mother knows all the things, I talked to her. I also have a cousin have the same story as you, her mothers always turn back to the things of the past, then comes her just cries because she cannot handle it anymore, she even told me what if she just killed herself too, but I always do remind of her child. You have so much experience in life, and I do love to read them for I know how hard for you to imagine them back but gives others a lesson. Somehow, our parents got old, sometimes I wished we two found peace to forgive then.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Salamat.. I forgive them naman especially my mom last away namin eh before nung kasal ko so kinasal ako na hindi kami masyadong okay. Mahirap Lang kasi Yung nagkamali ka nga pero paulit ulit Pinapaalala sayo yung nagawa mong Mali, paano ako makakapag move on nun. My next article is about the situation where I think suicidal akong tao. Anyway thanks for reading my article and for trying to understand my point.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That's just sad. Even now ganyan oa rin talaga sila? You admit naman na nagmali ka kaya sana magpatawad and kalimutan na nila ang nakaraan. Focus na sa present sana.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Well di na kami gaano nag uusap ng parents ko especially my mom simula nung nah asawa ako. We see each other weekly pag market day dumadaan siya sa workplace ko. Stress ang mama ko sa mga kasama niya sa bahay at sa akin Lang niya sinasabi nga hinaing niya, even if ayaw ko ng marinig any paulit ulit niyang complain sa mga kasama niya sa bahay pero wala akong choice wala din naman siyang ibang makausap I let her vent out her frustration.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ako naman sis sa mother ko ilag ako kasi ang sungit nya, then when I was in high school mas lumayo ako lalo kasi scholar ako at stay in, pero ngaun naman ok na kami, pero ndi ako sweet sa knya pero we talked and chat alot

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Same tayo sis okay naman kami ngayon ni mama pero we are not close nga Lang

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Grabe sis untag magka reconcile mo ug makahimo ug new memories

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Well okay naman mis akong parents dili Lang jud ko close nila

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ganyan talaga mga mama lods, pero kahit ganun, mahal kapa pa din nyan. Pero dapat lang naman talaga na bumukod kana dhil may sarili kanang pamilya.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Murag na misunderstood nimo akong gisuwat lods. Sa time nga niipon kos akong parents single pako ato lods never ko niipon ni mama nga naminyo nako

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Aie sorry lods, inaka ko kasi bago kayu nagkabahay ng current husband mo ngayon nakatira pa kayo sa inyo lods, ganyan talaga ang buhay lods, atleast kahit panu, nagsikap ka pa din para mairaus sila kahit gaano kpa nila minaliit.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

It's okay lods. Dugay2x pud ka nawala diri wa ka na update sa mga panghitabo hehe

$ 0.00
1 year ago

10 good thing and 1 mistake, they will only see the mistake than the good deed you made, pero ok rana bay, in ana man jud na lalo na minor paka ato natime normal mama kay atong parents bsan dili nasilashowy saila feelings, naa japon nasilay expectation satoa mong nasakitan sila og nakaingon silag mga sakit na atorya which is not necessary, pag gawas sa bata mawala raman sad na tanan storya

Ako gani di pod ko close sako mamamama ragani naa akoa pero di me close kai sakong ternage years sakong lolo og lola ko gadako. Mong dili jod ko open sakong mama, di gani nako kaya mag I love you saiya kay maolaw ko

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Dili jud ko minor adtong mga panahong giinsulto ko nila Brad. Naa nakoy anak ato jud unya ky lagi nilayas man akong mama so ako my naay regular work even if pila ry sweldo nako gkaya nako nga Pati akong papa ug akong brother ako ang nagprovide ug pagkaon.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Kong onsa man reason saimo mama nga nilayas sya, is dli enough para byaan nya iyang mga anak, irresponsible rakayo sya adto na part.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Nope she is not irresponsible. Ako mismo Brad ang niingon sa ako mama nga Adto nalang siya sa akong bro sa Cebu ky malooy nako niya nga pirme nalang daogdaogon sa akong papa. Palahubog akong papa Brad unya manakit pa gyud physical. I told my mom nga ma total dagko naman mi so imong self napud huna2x a. If wala pami mag reunion last 2019 dili muoli akong mama. 3 years siya sa Cebu

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Strong person kayo ka nakaya nimo tanan challenges na giagi saimo.

ako ana byaan nako na akong papa kong in ana man gning styla.

Ikaw lugar? Nag pabilin kas imong papa? Giapas onta ka cebu mas dakog sweldo dadto

$ 0.00
1 year ago

The year nga gipaadto nako si mama sa Cebu naa nako sa computer shop ng work Brad and naa nakoy anak that time. Gikan nako ug Cebu Brad dako lagi sweldo dako pud ug expenses

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Diay? Mao ra diay japon styla, maypag mag pabukid nalang noh .

Dool ramo sa chocolate hills?

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yes same ra jud mypa diri nalang at least less expenses. Medyo layo pud pila ka town pa usa ang Carmen

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Sus maypa dri samoa dool rang carmen hahaha

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Hehe kaw jud brad

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Its hard for us not to close our parents. In the end our parents was the first and the last person that we need to shoulder to lean on and we understand all the situation that we had

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Sila dpat ang Mas nakakakilala sa akin pero sila pa mismo ang humusga sa akin at Yun ang Pinaka masakit

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You really went through a lot in your relationship with your parent. I hope your children learn from you

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yes I have to teach them the right attitude

$ 0.00
1 year ago