Blog 3
Date :November 26,2021
Time :7:40amAbortion is not legal here in the Philippines. Anyway, it's all about my decision after knowing that I am pregnant.
In the year 2005 when I decided to find a job in Cagayan de Oro City. I was just 16 years old at that time and had just recently graduated high school.
Out of poverty, my parents can't send me to college that's why I decided to find a job. That was my very first time being away from my family. I was working at an RTW (Retail & Wholesale) Store owned by a Chinese couple.
Sale Lady is my first job. I don't have any idea about my job but I do believe that everything can be learned.
After a few weeks of working I meet this guy who started courting me. Let's just call him Mr. P. I told him that I already have a boyfriend that I left in Bohol. My boyfriend(Mr. R) promise to follow me in Cagayan and I don't want to hurt him so I told Mr. P to stop courting me and we will just be friends. So He agreed. We became friends and started texting each other.
Mr. R and I eventually broke up because he can't handle Long distance relationships. He is the one who gave up on our relationship. He found someone else and I can't do anything about it. It's his choice.
Moving forward after talking and spending time with Mr. P I fall in love with him as he continue to make me feel loved. After a few months of courting, I said yes. The first few weeks of being in a relationship were the best. He showed me love and all the care that I need but things happens so fast and he was suddenly gone.
Questions left on my mind. What did I do wrong? Did I hurt him? I was devasted after he ghosted me. I don't know where he is as he is not answering my text and my calls.
We were just working in the same place but I think he was hiding from me till one night I got the chance to see him. We were walking on the same road. As I am walking toward him I can't even stare at him. The pain was there. I just have to pretend that I am okay. I was teary-eyed asking him how is he but I was left with no answer. Questions at the back of my mind were still there. What is going on? Why does he have to do this to me? I tried to message him almost every day hoping to find the answers to my questions, and finally, he replied to my messages. He told me He have to break up with me because his girlfriend who works in Manila is coming home. Honestly, I didn't have any clue that he has a girlfriend. He even told me if His girlfriend will not come home he wants our relationship will continue. It seems like he is playing safe and he is just using me so I didn't agree with what he wanted. Eventually, his girlfriend didn't come home.
I have already stopped communicating with him and didn't get any news about him. We finally broke up and I have already moved on.
I got three relationships after we broke up. I tried to forget him but I can't. So I decided to find a way to contact him. I just knew that he stop working and he goes back to his place. So after 7 months, we're finally back together. I told him I wanted to visit him at his place. I ride on a bus going to his place it took hours to get there and that was my first time traveling to a place where I don't even know where to stop because that was my first time going to his place. He just waited along the road so he can see the bus that I am riding He decided to go back to work since he just got back to work I help him with his finances like the rent of his boarding house and his food. I visit him at his boarding house before going to work. So we always did it (you already know what I mean) out of nowhere I ask him what will happen if I get pregnant and he just told Let's just abort the baby. And I was like I don't wanna do it. It's a big sin I would rather raise my child alone than doing it. Then I miss my period then I found out that I am pregnant.
I was shocked when I knew that I am pregnant. I was shaking after doing the pregnancy test. I am afraid my parents would be mad at me. How I will explain it to them? So I told my boyfriend that I am pregnant I got no reaction from him. Not even happy. So we decided to live together in a boarding house. As days and weeks had passed after living together, he slowly change. We use to go to work together and now he usually left me at home and just let me go to work alone and even going home from work He just let me go home alone. I know something is wrong with him. What with the sudden change? I did everything. I take care of him and showed him how much I love him but why He is doing this to me? All that questions are all in my mind and didn't get the guts to ask him why.
After my boss knew that I am pregnant they told me to stop working because they are concerned about my baby and they don't want my job to harm my baby as I usually lift heavy stocks at work.
After I left my work I am just at the boarding always and had nothing to do. I always feel bored and sometimes I sneak to the workplace of my boyfriend and try to see if what He is doing there because sometimes He goes home late. But I didn't found out anything suspicious.
After a month of living together, He decided that I should go back home so he can save some money for my baby. Then I agreed with him. I decided to choose to go back to my parents' place as whatever happens my parents are there. I feel safer if I am with my family.
Back to Bohol around November 2017. I was already 3 months pregnant at that time. Honestly, I felt afraid to face my family especially my mom. But I have to face the consequences of what I've done. So fast forward after I arrive in Bohol my boyfriend didn't bother to contact me. I think I am just the one who wants our relationship to continue. I am just blessed enough because when the time I arrive in Bohol I was hired as a nanny to my nephew who is 2 years old at that time. If I'm not mistaken I think my salary was P2000/month. That's already a big help for me so I will have money to spend for my upcoming giving birth. I didn't get any financial support from the father of my baby.
Months pass by till I was 8 months pregnant I have to stop working and was waiting to give birth. I tried to contact the father of my baby hoping to hear any plans but He just told me "why am I crying? I already told you before that we should abort the baby? It's really clear to me that He doesn't want us anymore.
A few weeks after that conversation I just knew that He is living with his new girlfriend. I felt so devastated that time but nothing I can do but just cry. I cried almost every day. Praying to God to give me more strength for me to survive for my baby.
June 13, 2007. I finally gave birth to my wonderful daughter. I only have my mom beside me at that time. The moment I first time meet my daughter I could tell myself that it's all worth it and even if I will be the only one to raise my child I am still blessed to have my family.
Conclusion: May some of you will learn from my experience. I know my decision was right and I will be always grateful that God gave me the chance to be a mom. To the father of my eldest, I know you have your own family now and I already forgive you for what you have done.
Your article filled my eyes with tear. I don't know these tears are of happiness that you've your daughter or these tears of sadness that you face a lot of difficulty. Really we all made mistake but the best thing is that we took right decision on time. I'm so happy for you. Much love for your daughter 🥰😘and respect for you. In my view you are a brave lady