The Inevitable
There are two things in this world that are inevitable. Change and death. Change happens all the time whether we want it or not. It happens whether we notice it or not.
Change is also the easier inevitable to deal with. With change, at least there is hope for something better. But what happens after death? No one knows for sure.
Many religions tried to explain what happens after death but usually their explanations are full of fear-mongering that many people started to be scared of dying.
However, just like change, death is always coming. It is expected. But no amount of expecting it will ever prepare one from losing someone they hold dear.
My sister, Manju, already shared the sad news we received last night. I was watching Star Wars episode 9 with my partner when I read my cousin's message.
At first I did not understand what I was looking at. I was convinced that I am just having a weird bad dream while awake. But no matter how many times I refreshed my phone, the message remains the same.
I do not know how to describe the next few hours. It felt like I was just floating, moving mechanically. Worrying about my mother, feeling devastated for my other aunts and uncles who could not see their sister in her last moments due to the pandemic.
I am fond of my extended family from my mother's side so news about losing one of my aunt is a hard pill to swallow. I spent the night away just staring at nothing in particular until I woke up without realizing I had fell asleep.
Today as we are having lunch, my younger sister that she was glad that they at least got to visit her last December. My heart broke that time, and I felt the stare of our eldest sister on me.
I was not able to join them that time due to school works as well as I was the one who took care of Moshi while they were away. The regret that grows within me is hard to ignore.
I know that she would understand. I know that she was happy to have seen my mother a few days before she died. I know that she is contented to see her children successful and independent before her death. And yet, the suddenness of what happened still makes it hard for me to breathe.
This pain is probably no match for what her children, spouse, and siblings are experiencing. Imagining one of my aunts breaking down because they could not go to her sister tears my heart apart.
My mother stays silent most of the time which is a sign that something is not okay. She is mostly talkative so hearing her silence most of the time shows that she is not as unaffected as she tries to show.
We all try to pretend that everything is okay even though the tension is heavy in the air. The grief is so obvious yet no one wants to be the first to take off the indifferent mask.
Closing words
I wrote this article today to hopefully serve as a reminder for people that life is so short. Tomorrow is not guaranteed so make sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.
Do not be like me too, who prioritized academics over visiting family. If I had known that it would be the last time I could do that, I would have dropped everything I was doing. But foolish, optimistic me still believes that there is a lot of time for family in the future. And now, I have an aunt that I will not see and hear again.
Most importantly, live life as if you are dying tomorrow so that you may never miss giving attention to things that matter most to you.
To people who lost loved ones this pandemic and was stuck mourning at home, I am wishing you strength and I hope that you are holding up.
Thank you for reading this article!
If you want to read some more articles of mine, I have monthly summaries here:
December 2021 Articles Summary
November 2021 Articles Summary
September 2021 Articles Summary
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Change is always constant we observe things and our surroundings is changing also, buildings and house and even our emotions constantly change when getting hurt or overwhelmed. Death also inevitable we don't have the capacity to avoid this fate instead we can make it more further. These two are inevitable and scary . THANKS TO THE AUTHOR DOR BRINGING THIS AWESOME CONTENT THAT ALLOW US TO SEE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.