Check out my amazing sponsorsYou know what's the hardest part of ending a relationship? It's when you have to forget the person you've dreamed your future with. It's when you have to delete not only the pictures that made you smile, but also his presence in your life. It's even harder to see that he is already happy with someone else and you're out here crying at 3am, asking yourself what have you done wrong? Usually, when a person have been cheated on, the initial thought we'll have is that; there is something wrong with us. Something is missing that he found on someone else. But let me tell you this, you are not responsible for someone's discontentment.
I would like to share with you the process of how I moved on from an almost 3 years relationship after being cheated on. I am sharing you this to inspire women that we have the power to be happy without a man in our life.
I had met this guy when I started working to a new company. He is my wavemate; meaning we started at the same time. He was aloof and a quiet type of guy, which actually caught my attention. I will not make the introduction long, it's not really important. We became a couple after a due process and thorough stalking if he's really single or not. Everything seemed great. We were happy and sharing our future dreams. Sometimes marriage were being brought up as a topic. I thought that he is God sent for me. We faced our problems together. He's been with me through my ups and downs; vice versa.
The pandemic came and we both lost our job. I've applied in a different company and he remained unemployed. This year we decided to apply for work so that we can be together again in the same company, I already resigned on my previous work. Luckily, we got hired and we have the same starting date. Everything went well. Until we got seperated by team; which is common in the call center industry. We're fine with it since we still have the same shift and the benefits in the company are really good that we can't just let go of it.
We continue working seperately but during our breaks, we still visited each other. Until a week after being on a different team we had a fight that led him to confessed that he already has a feeling for his teammate, that made him confused about his feelings for me. Now girls, fight for you relationship but never fight over him. I didn't make him choose whose who. I ended the relationship but still expectant that he will try to fix it, but I was wrong. Hours after we broke up, they are already all over the place being lovey-dovey. Without even considering of how I would feel, what can I expect? Never would I've thought that he will just throw our relationship away. He didn't even give me time to accept what had happened. I felt disrespected.
It's really really hard, honestly. Seeing them happy and never cared about the person they steal their happiness from. I always thought, "how can they sleep at night knowing that they had their happiness from someone else's pain?". I pitied myself. I am still in denial of what's happening around me, even after my friends and family slap it with my face that I've cheated on and got dumped. I still hold onto the person that I used to know. I still defended him until I got tired and accepted that it's really over.
I gave a day for myself to cry my ass out and reminisce the memories we shared together. I got drunk and I never let myself be alone for at least 2 weeks or month. Every rest day, I made sure that I have a scheduled drinking session, I even adopted a dog to divert my attention from the pain. Though I am no longer crying, I am still messed up that I can't even think of someone else but my pain. I can't even clean my room. My laundry are all piled up. I wasn't able to sleep and even had a time were I was awake for more than 48 hours. But one day when I came home, my room was cleaned by my youngest sister. I don't know why but at that time I cried again not because of being heartbroken but because of how much I appreciate the people that surrounds me. I just thought of how hard I put them into. How they've been with me since day one.
I remembered how my younger sister and my mom picked me up at my cousin's house after being drunk. My parents told me to be absent for that day, the day I cried hard. Even on the way home, I kept on sobbing at the jeep and on the grocery store. My younger sister, which I have never experienced a gift or a treat before, bought me my favorite chocolate and snacks. My friend who have spend time with me more than with her boyfriend. Also one of sister that took care of my dog when I was away. How she scolded me on being weak and lecture me on the things she'd been to during her first heartbreak. How she spends sleepless nights with me. My father who let my dog inside his house even though he doesn't want to do it. And my friends who were always available when I need someone to talk to and spend an overnight with.
I lost a person I shared happy memories with but I have people around me that's willing to be with me at my worsts.
This time, I decided to stop making myself miserable. I start the process of moving on. I let myself take the pain and the disrespected act of my ex until my body can't take it anymore. I surround myself with positive people, thank God that my friend is my co-worker. I expanded my network of friends and the people I'm speaking with, which is by the way, was not allowed when I was in a relationship. I treat myself to a beauty salon. Had my hair cut done and I enrolled to the gym. The muscle pain lets me fall asleep faster haha. I started treating myself with care. Focused more on my dog that really helped me not to be emotional. When I'm in the middle of spacing out, she will peed or pooped that will disturbed my emotional thoughts. Seriously, after letting myself accepts what happened, I've seen that I gained a lot when I lose him. I never wish him ill and I prayed for what's best for him. I forgave him and the girl he is with now without getting an apology. I accepted what happened and I will be forever grateful for the memories we shared together. But, letting go of that person is the smartest decision I've made in my life. I am seeing things differently now. I matured and became wiser. I appreciate the people who are currently with me now. He is really God sent to prepare me for the best things that is yet to come. I am happy.
As clichē as it may sound, love yourself and everything will fall into their right places. It's ok to be hurt, it's part of living. "OK lang pagdaanan yan, wag mo lang tambayan."
This is my sister's article. It seems personal so I did not read it. Forgive any typos or missing words since I did not proofread this.
Thank you for reading this article!
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Yung mindset ko nung nangyari sakin to yung nacheat ni bf, hindi ko sinisi sarili ko na may mga pagkukulang ba ako ganyan, kasi wala akong kasalanan. I mean nasa tao na nang iwan iyan pero buti nalang talaga nang iwan kasi nalayo tayo sa tao na hindi natin deserved. Parang mas pinagpasalamat ko pa sa Panginoon na nilayo niya ako sa taong akala ko siya na, pero di pala talaga worth it mahalin.
Buti nalang ako natutunan kong mahalin sarili ko ngayon tapos andito din pamilya ko na kahit anong mangyari di nila iiwan. Sila at sila padin ang mananatili sa tabi ko.