Have you ever heard of the idiomatic phrase "Testing the waters"? It means to explore and have the courage to try something a little by little. My life now is like testing the waters, I am slowly trying to try out the things that I loved to do. Getting out of bed early, working out, jogging, and sleeping early are the things that I missed out on. It's hard especially when you don't have the discipline to do it.
Getting out of bed for me is like carrying a sack of rice on my back in the morning. When the bed feels like a magnetic field that doesn't want me to get up. It's difficult. I've been feeling down for the past weeks and all I ever do is stay up all night where the people around me are already asleep while on the other hand I do is to scroll on my social media accounts and laugh at the videos see online. This has been my coping mechanism ever since this pandemic started. Sometimes I even get to see the sunrise with my eyes wide awake.
Jogging was fun. It was a refreshing activity where I am actually able to witness the sunrise in its natural form and having a decent sleep. I remember running 7 km every day and all I do now is to run away from my academic responsibilities and ran out of money.
Aside from jogging which is a form of exercise, I also do work out and do compound movements. I remember being addicted to it that I wouldn't let a single day pass without working out. I became the unmotivated fat b1tch who can't finish a single movement without being frustrated in the middle of exercising. I am just an unhealthy human being thriving and looking for his worth.
I told myself that I will try my very best to get out of bed early in the morning, work out, jog, and even go to sleep early. I know promising myself that I would do all of these is impossible especially in the environment that I live in. But I will try to remind myself every day that I can and that all things are going to be possible for me.
Life is like testing the waters while taking a bath in the morning, we don't want or sometimes we get hesitant to take a bath when the water is too cold. And what we do is to adjust the water by putting hot water in it or adjust the water heater until we can handle it. There's no need to rush. Because if you put plenty of hot water in your tub, you are going to get burned. Just when you get burned out in life. Take it easy.
Hey there pretty human! If you get through this portion, thank you! Always remember that you are loved and valued. Fighting!
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