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A Decision They Will Never Understand

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Avatar for WanderingMedStudent
3 months ago

Posing. Walking the runway. Wearing fashionable clothes. That's the life I gave up to protect my inner peace and mental health.

Modeling was my job for almost 4 years before I finally decided to quit. I was moving around different cities of New York, Milan, Paris, and even here in the Philippines. Not to brag but I was a walking paycheck that time. I earn from every pose, walk, and wearing fashionable clothes.

I was being chased by cameras everywhere --- every minute of the day. Agencies we're eyeing for me to sign a contract for them. Well, I wouldn't be surprised as I've worked with different brands locally and internationally, some of which are high-end brands.

Why did I quit? Modeling is a profession in which many see it as "the life" where you don't have to work so hard as other people. It was toxic. Modeling was a toxic industry. They would want you to go to different shows in just a 30-minute break and they expected us to be ready. There were even times that we encountered sexual harassment by photographers, designers, and even our managers.

My family didn't understand why I quit. They said that I was already earning 6 digits per fashion show I attend and sacrificing all of it just to study veterinary medicine. The walking paycheck who can provide for his family became a burden. Even the construction of our house was postponed because there was no budget.

In the early weeks/ months of studying veterinary medicine, I struggled a lot. My body drastically changed. From having a toned body to being skinny. I suffered from Body dysmorphophobia because of it. I had to adapt to a new life that I'm going to live. From working out to have a toned body to studying until midnight for an exam.

Sometimes I think, what if I didn't quit modeling? What if I would give it a second chance? I'm struggling with my studies and sometimes I just want to quit. In modeling, I get paid even if it's hard. But in med school? I get tons of workloads, being stressed out, and not taking care of myself is the return.

I know this kind of thinking is just temporary. My life and sacrifices would pay off when I finish studying for a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. All of the things that Modelling has offered me will be offered to me in a different way of being a veterinarian someday. From walking on the runway to walking inside the clinics and medical missions.

Final thoughts...

Not a lot of people get to decide for themselves. Sometimes they are governed by the people around them. It sucks but we can't just leave a situation wherein we are not fully capable of providing for ourselves. Let me remind you that whatever your decision will be, it should always be towards your self-growth/self-improvement. Don't let other people bring you down.

No one has the right to touch someone if they weren't permitted them. Their body, their life. Indeed, models get sexually harassed in their works. I have been sexually harassed by a workmate before and it was very unpleasant. Crossing personal boundaries and not respecting what other people might feel. If you have gone through this, I hope your wound is healing well. *Hugs*

Also, I just want to say that this is just a dream. I am finally awake. Hahaha. Though some of the events that I mentioned are true about me. Conclude to yourself whether what is true and just made-ups. I am also serious in some of the areas that I mentioned.


Author's Note:

I may not interact with you like how I used to, but I am updated about the title of your articles. I can't want to interact with all of you again especially with the Noiseristificationism Members.

Hang in there bud, we will get through this! Don't hesitate to message me if you need someone to talk to. You matter. You are valid. You are love.

Connect with me:

Twitter: WanderingMedQty

Telegram/ Noisecash/ Readcash: WanderingMedStudent


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Comments

This is just what I needed as of the moment. I am so stressed thinking about other people's sake that I almost forgot my own dream in life. I gotta start living my life again.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

May this storytime remind you to make decisions for your own self and not mind what other people's judgement.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Hmmm, si naman masamang bitawan ang isang bagay pag alam mong di kana napapasaya nito, kahit pa nga ba ang kapalit nito ay karangyaan. Kamusta naman yong talagang gusto mo diba, so sinunod mo lang siguro kung anonh gusto ng puso mo talaga. Mahirap pero at least napag bigyan mo si self na gawin ang talagang gusto nya.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

True Ate. I chose what my heart really wanted and it was the best decision I've made. I'm not gonna force myself to be in a pitt hole that will slowly kill me.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Yes, love the last part bata. Fightuuuu 💪🏿💙

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Woah. Naging model is youuu? Patingin ako ng pictureee 😍 but anyways, yeah tama ka mas maganda yung nag quit kana ampanget ng job ng pagiging model kahit sobra sobra pa yung sweldo

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Depende kung sa tingin mo true. Hahaha. Wala eh, most of it are kept by my agency. 😆 True talaga, sarili pa rin pipiliin over a high paying job.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Now Playing: Magasin by Eraserheads

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Wahahahaha napa-search tuloy ako sa Spotify. 😭 Lapagan pala ng kanta eh HAHAHAHA

$ 0.00
3 months ago

bwhahahaha e kasi modeling topic eh saktong sakto sa pinapatugtog ko HAHAH

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I think its good you quit, money can't buy you happiness! So you should be proud of yourself that you chose to do what makes you happy!

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Well, money can be a way to give you happen tho. You can buy the things that will make you happy and help other people by means of giving them financial aid. Anyway, it was a tough decision to make. 🙂

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Grabe, ang galing mo po. Though sa part ng modelling trips medyu nag isip ako if this was ever true or fiction. Kinailangan ko pa talagang balikan ang topics kung may fiction na naka lagay. I'm not judging po ha, pero ito kasi kadalasan na nababasa sa first lines ng mga wattpad stories before. Which seemed really real at first and the ending was kind of a cliffhanger like you did haha. Though I know the struggle that you mentioned it was really real. And if you're still not okay, I'm giving you a hug,somehow it makes you feel better po.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Wahahahaha bahala ka na mag conclude if the modeling part was really real. 🤣 Yes, most of the personal events that I mentioned was real talaga hehe. Thank you. I'm healing! 😊❤️

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3 months ago

Nah I think it is real. But not the travel I guess haha. I've just really got some wattpad vibes on the first few lines. And I'm wishing you all the best po. And about sa struggles mo I know makakaya mo po. Because at the end of it all when you finally finish your studies as Vet Doctor, it will all be worth it.

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3 months ago

magaling magaling magaling! hahaha.. you got me there. Though I hope that modeling part was real :) Although it is true ..it is toxic out there... iba kalakaran eh

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Wahahahahaha 😆 though some of my friends would convinced me to pose for them and do a fun shoot hahaha.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I know Magiging successful ka sa pinili mong tatahakin sa buhay, fight lang doc. keep praying 🙏💪❤️

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Thank youuu! Tiwala lang talaga at sipag. Kakayanin to! 💪

$ 0.00
3 months ago