Demotivated, Lazy, and Tired. These are just some of the words that can describe me as a student who attends school via online class. Schooling isn't the same as before. Learning from online classes is way different from the actual lectures held in classrooms.
Tons of activities that aren't being done by me, or should I say in generic college students term "backlogs". It's just on my dashboards piling up. You might have seen on my posts on noisecash that I submit activities on a long list of notifications, it's because those are just the activities that need to be done and are already close to their due dates.
Deadlines are the main reason why my brain works, it pressures me. As a student who became a procrastinator through time, failing is what I fear. This is what keeps me going, the reason why I still have the drive to submit activities.
Online class killed the burning passion in me. I am not the most studious student out there but I was a studious person. My student life before is way different than what I am now. I wouldn't let any activity slip on my to-do list before but now? Unfortunately, I have been missing out on some of it.
Before, I would review my notes on a daily basis even without a quiz or an exam. With my situation now, sometimes I just review my notes for an hour or during the exams. That is how this current learning modality turned me into a lazy academic monster.
I tried. I tried to consider this learning set-up as regular classes held in school but my environment doesn't allow me. Staying here at home also means attending to my duties --- helping out with the household chores and helping in our business. I wouldn't forget my insensitive neighbors that kept their speakers at a max volume adding as a distraction while learning. My environment caused drastic damage to my learning and it led me to fail my exams.
Never in my life that I wanted to retake an exam because of failing it. I would gladly retake an exam if it was really hard and if I really studied and still failed for it. Last sem, I retook an exam. It's because my score didn't make it to the 75% passing. I did not have any choice but to retake it and unfortunately, still my score didn't make it. My score that time was 71 and the passing score was 75. I hated myself because of it. The removal exams didn't change anything. Fortunately, we were given a project that saved me from failing.
Online classes suck, my memory retention is no longer working. I fear going back to school again because I didn't learn that much in the whole duration of online classes. Some of my instructors don't teach at all and some just give learning materials and returns once it's exam week. Now that I am in the last few days of attending online classes, I get scared even more because my fear of failing might come true when I return to school.
I just wanted to let this all out. I am pissed at myself and to other people that contribute to my stress. If you are like me whose lost the burning passion for studying, I pray that we get back on track and with our tiny steps, let's hope that we will find ourselves the way we were.
Author's note:
Thank you for reading this! I hope that you are in a good situation. May the almighty God bless you! Padayon my fellow students!
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I really feel bad to students like you na na experience yung online class. Sobrang hassle and pressure talaga. Tambak na mga gawain na di mo na alam kung ano yung uunahin. Pero saludo padin ako sa inyo kasi kinakaya niyo pa rin.