Hey guys! I don't know where this blog will lead to but I just know that after publishing my midyear anniversary article is that I generated some topics that I should write about and one of them is about my love life. Yes, you've read it right --- about my love life.
Since I am bored, I am just going to tell you my thoughts and stories about it. Let's consider this as gossiping about my love life. Hahahaha!
I am an NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) and I am okay with that. In my 21 years of existence in this world, I never had one. I am that friend who is sometimes invested in other people's relationships than minding my own business. I just think that I can learn and maybe apply to my future romantic relationship about the things that I observed and maybe it can save me from making mistakes.
High school is the time where you will find your love team inside your classrooms and me? I never had one. But it's okay. I'm always the third-wheel seatmate who always has to adjust when my seatmate is having a problem with her jowa. There are even times when I would sit in other chairs just to give way for them. Hahahaha!
As I was talking with my friend yesterday night, she told me that I should have a jowa of my own so that our future topics will be about me and my jowa. Krazy hahahaha! As if I could get one at a grocery store. lol.
I'm not into signing up on different dating apps, it's just not my thing. But I tried 0nce and I didn't even put my photo. The photos there were the meme photos that I saw online. In short, I just wanted to give it a try. Curiosity things.
You can never be ready for love, I know it's just going to come naturally. Sometimes I ask myself if I really want to be in a relationship but I always end up realizing that I am contented with my single life. All I can ever think of is that I am just in love with the idea of love, with being someone. Well, I think most of us are like this.
As I can observe in other people, some of them aren't really happy. Some of them got sexually harassed, physically hurt, and other worse things than you could imagine. I can tell that because my friends had experienced these kinds of treatments from their jowas. I get affected, in fact, I am that kind of friend who is really angrier and never really gets to move on from what happened. All that I am saying is that not every person who is in a relationship is happy, some of them are in sad, toxic, abusive relationships and worse is that they don't know how to escape.
Let's admit it, love can be overwhelming and sometimes it makes us do stupid things. There are even instances where we get crazy over someone that if affected us and has abruptly changed us in a way that the people around us can no longer recognize us.
Let me tell you a little secret. Can I trust you with this? If yes, you can proceed with reading. I am gay and my family knows that. I wasn't given the chance to formally come out but growing up, I was thrown questions about my sexuality. That time, I don't know what to answer. I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. All I ever do is enjoy life on the outside and have no freedom to express myself at home.
One time I was with my mom. We went to her best friend to get something and as we travel back home, she said some words that hurt me and got me in an uncomfortable position. She asked if some of my gay friends are in a relationship and I said no. We all are not in a relationship. What made me uncomfortable was when she said that I shouldn't copy other gay people who have a partner. And I sunk and I felt like my head was just full of air.
Clearly, my mom is lowkey homophobic. Lowkey since she still has friends and a son who is part of the LBGTQIA+ Community. This is the main reason why I have setbacks if I will be in a romantic relationship in the future. I want a private relationship but I am not going to make it an excuse to hide my jowa. Do you get my point? I don't want to sugarcoat my relationship with a "Private Relationship" status.
I wrote this because I want you to look outside the picture that this is the reality of other people, whether it be heterosexuals or homosexuals. Anyone can experience these kinds of hardships while in a relationship. I just want to say that try your best to still always be there for your friend, even if it could be annoying sometimes.
Author's note:
Hello, I hope you enjoyed this kind of blog or kwentuhan. I was actually going to write something for the lover that I lose but for some reason, my mind and heart are not cooperating.
If ever you are in the same situations that I have mentioned, please think it through. Try to leave that toxic relationship.
Check out my previous articles:
Hi! I know how you feel. Mahirap talaga yung hindi natin mailabas kung ano totoong nararamdaman natin. Parang masakit din isipin na mahirap makakita ng partner at kung madali man mahirap din iharap sa pamilya.. Hayaan mo na, time will come, you'll come out of your shell with great confidence. 😉.. Makakahanap ka rin ng jowabels..