I Guess It's Not Just Money After All
An open letter;
Lately, I have been inactive on both platforms or sometimes I'll read some articles and post on noisecash and never not know when I'll be active again. It has been tiring for me to take midyear class as we are conducting it in our department. Well, that's what I really wanted --- to go back to regular learning. But, it's tiring. The thought of not having an actual summer break makes me feel so tired and lonely.
I have been seeing my friends post online about their recent trips going to the beach, partying, going to Manila etc. And it frustrates me because I cannot do all of those now. My course requires a lot of time and in exchange it is to miss out on things, especially hanging out with my loved ones.
I really miss writing and connecting with you guys by posting on noisecash and commenting on your articles here on readcash. Both platforms have become my outlet to write my thoughts about things. But lately, I seem to not be as active as before.
To be honest, I have the time to write and post. But, I need to choose myself. I need to take a little rest to take a break from using my mind. I always think that I can just sleep when I have extra time rather than writing and connecting with you guys.
It's tiring. It feels like I ran out of social battery. I cannot force myself to write, comment, and interact with you guys because I do not want to be fake with my words and how I expressed myself. It's so easy to write a comment about congratulating you guys on your graduation even if I didn't actually read your work. It's so easy to just pick out the words that are from your work and paraphrase it just to seem that it was originally my comment. But it's not me, I don't want you to feel that I am commenting just for the sake of being active. I want you to feel that I am genuinely happy with your achievements, comforting with what you are currently dealing with, etc.
It's not money after all. At the end of the day, I need to choose from hustling, studying, and myself. At this point, I have reached the point where I do not want to force myself to write just because I want to earn. I know I can always return to this platform that's why I am choosing myself.
I am immensely grateful to you guys and to Rusty for still entrusting to me --- for commenting, liking, and upvoting. It really means a lot to me. I may have a lot of topics in mind right now, but not this time. As they say, there is time for greater things.
Thank you for reading this!
You can check out my other works by clicking the links:
Absolutely. Take better care of yourself. That's what matters most.