My Insecurities!! A new Prompt!!

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
2 years ago
Pixabay.com

Hello my lovelies.. good evening one and all.. Is it just me or is anybody screaming internally from the fact that we have dark mode now in Read?? Whatever device I held or used up until now, I have used them in dark more, for one, it looks aesthetically pleasing and number 2, it is easy on eyes. Back to today's topic, I thought to be vulnerable with you all today and share my biggest insecurities with you. I do not have many, as I'm being a person who do not give one friks about society or what people think about me. I do not go out or talk to people.. I like dark, I like paranormal and thus people call me weird and mysterious all the time and never one time it bothered me as I have stone in the place of a heart lol.. But I do have a girl inside deep deep layers of heart and I do have certain insecurities from it.. I'm going to share with you about them which I never did with anyone else, including my husband and Mom...

My Eyes:

My won Photo

I will get straight to the point.. My eyes is/was and going to be my biggest insecurity EVER.... EVEEEEER...

WHY???? You might look at the above pic and say, what the eff are you talking about..... well, Here's why

I was born with an eye power of (-13.5) in both eyes, which means ever since I remember, I was wearing glasses.. not those stylish, thin colorful glasses but those of very thick ones... I will show you a pic

My own pic

Look at that 5 year old child with heavy thick frame and glasses taking a stupid award for what? looking stupid? or being born with an eye issue? I hated myself and STILL DO for being born with a disability like that which I cannot see the world if I cannot wear my glasses and everything goes blur, out of vision. I can see a shape talking to me but I cannot tell who's talking if I can't recognize their voice. Because of this issue that I was born with without having any control over it, I was called names.. other kids used to make fun of me... every single year, every classs I went, every tution I joined, every school I changed, one thing was common... people calling me "Soda bottle eyes..... Soda bottle eyes..."

I never cried about it though, because why cry? it is not like I can mend it or change it or reverse it right? I was born with it.. what can I do? but the comment "Soda bottle" was pretty much imprinted on my brain that nobody can/will erase it and I have to live with it as long as I live... I spent many years talking to God, why do I have to have this? my brother was born to same parents, he did not wear glasses even once in his life, then why me??? I guess we never know..

Whenever people meet me online, the first compliment I ever receive will always be "Oh my God, you have beautiful eyes" from both men and women, am not even exaggerating but I got to liste to that at least a 100 times by a 100 people by now... I laugh cry holding my mobile phone in my hands thinking about the irony of that situation.. I immediately tell them that I wear contact lenses as you can see the blue ones I was wearing in the above selfie of my eyes.. Many people have been supportive while many even called me fake for wearing what? lenses? lol... but if I do not wear them, are they leaving me? they are calling me other names... duhhh.. so I don't even bother about it anymore except I have a balance sheet issue to argue with God when I go up there...

My Hair

Pixabay.com

You might be confused.. how hair could be an insecurity, but it is for me. Growing up, because of my beautiful Mom's and dad's DNA, I had very long thick wavy hair that touched my thighs and I still remember these words yelled by my Mom "Sit straight, time is running out, ughhh I can't with your hair" .. hahaha, this was when she used to do my hair exactly 5 minutes before me leaving for my school.. I always used to wear braids and that's my school's rule and hence, it used to take at least 10 mins to detangle my super long frizzy hair and it was a pain for me to sit and co-operate when my mom was pulling it very hard... she always advised me to never leave it open and always apply oil and keep it in braids to keep hair safe. And people used to touch my hair, hold it and envy it up and down like it's their business saying "bro, is this hair or anaconda??"

Their comments used to hurt me as my Mom never allowed to cut my hair and I actually could not recognize that was actually a compliment as I always wanted to have short silky hair and leave it open. But by the year 2001, I slowly started to lose it as I tested positive for thyroid and 12 years down the drain, by 2012, my pregnancy and typhoid fever made me lose 3/4th of my hair. Sometimes when I'm alone, I sit quietly in my bedroom and wonder about the days I had thick long hair without hair fall issues and my hair was growing like weed. Now I have hair thinning issues at top and almost feel like I'm going bald at top which scares me but I do not show my feelings on my face... Nahh.. never.. that is not Sagittarius energy right there... we very well cover it and always try to be positive towards others and make them laugh lol..

Because I have been way more depressed in past and have been suicidal for couple of times too.. and as a person who have gone through thousands of opinions, let me just say "At the end of the day, It does not even matter.. what actually matters, is how YOU feel about YOURSELF" ... So, the most important thing to remember is to love yourself, appeal yourself, impress yourself, look cute to yourself... It all had become so easy on me once I accepted myself and my insecurities as part of me instead of fighting them... and yes, my glasses are me, my hair fall is me.. This is me... beautiful me... Unique me...

I just wanted to share my story with you all today and Please take this as a new prompt and write about your insecurities ONLY if you want to.. No pressure absolutely... And let's be positive towards users who shared it... let's type some nice comments for them to uplift them :)) Go write your stories with the hashtag #Myinsecurities and include "Myinsecurities" in the "Topics" section while writing your posts so that I can find them all in one place and I will upvote a couple of them surprisingly as part of Secret Santa :)) ... Remember to add this in your topics, otherwise I cannot find your blogs.... Let's celebrate our Insecurities..

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Avatar for Theblackdoll
2 years ago

Comments

I've read this prompt through yen and I have to read the prompt maker hihi. I made one as well for this prompt since I haven't written for long, thank you for it.

By the ma'am your eyes is too beautiful with or without lenses. You look like a celebrity in our country and you are very beautiful.

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2 years ago

Insecurities that I am trying to ripe it off. Maybe I could try this one😊

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2 years ago

I have a lot of insecurities that up until now I still have not embraced and accepted and I don't have the guts to show it I only want to hide as long as I can.

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2 years ago

you will get into a stage where you will overcome your fears and accept you for who you are.. but am gonna suggest you, the sooner you realize "you are enough" and love yourself, the better you will feel and realize nothing else matters

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2 years ago

Thank you for these words sissy!

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2 years ago

You shouldn't take what people say about you in a negative way. You are beautiful and God created you and not in a worst way. So, stop the insecurity about your eyes and hair but see yourself as a beauty in God's eyes.

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2 years ago

My dear sissy you are so beautiful and I was captivated by your eyes , i'm speechless actually I dont really know what to say, you're just fantastic and amazingly beautiful. I will make an entry for this🥰 bdw embrace your insecurities because you are perfect and lovely just the way you are. I love this kind of prompt it seems like you are encouraging others to be brave in showing the insecurities that we tend to hide and overthink. Hays this is great❣️

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2 years ago

your comments made my day, thank you so much.. can't wait to see your entry sis

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2 years ago

I will make an entry for this prompt. Btw you're beautiful ❤️

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User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Can't wait to read yours sis

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2 years ago

All of us is beautiful sis just dont mind others. Stay what you then you will the most beautiful😉.

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2 years ago

Never let your insecurities get the best of you again..okay! You're great

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2 years ago

The world always point out the bad in people is up to us to look for the positive side of us and be merry.

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2 years ago

We are all beautiful with our imperfections.. you are really beautiful it doesn't matter if you have contact lenses or not. Hope I can share my insecurities too later hehe I like the promt.

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2 years ago

I cannot wait to read yours, because succesful people get lot of comments saying "life was easier to them" but only they know the truth how much they struggled to win.. You are one of the highly succesful user here, I want to know you, the person behind all that hardwork and their insecurities :)

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2 years ago

Haha you flatter me so much with highly successful thing. I had many insecurities, even suffered inferiority, life is really tough but we have to be tougher.

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2 years ago

Who gives two f**** what anyone thinks. You are you, beautiful inside and out.

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2 years ago

You are always kind towards me. I'm thankful Sir, I mean.. Thiru :)

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2 years ago

Woww! Bhargi is your eyes really blue? Cool! So pretty

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2 years ago

Haha I wish.. I was wearing blue contacts dear

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2 years ago

You're beautiful, that's what matters most. Things and words that others said or did to you arent that important...i also have lots of insecurities, many people would criticize me for that and now I am able to overcome and ignore those

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2 years ago

You need to write about them.. I want to know the real raw you.. that is what makes all of us beautiful and relatable :)

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2 years ago

Yeah, I will maybe tomorrow I will publish it. Thanks for this prompt

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2 years ago

I was going to think what makes you insecure about your eyes. Let me tell you something a true story, that is amazing.

I personally think people with any kind of disabilities are capable to do way more things, than those without it.

I used to have a guest when I worked in a hotel. He was 100% blind. I helped him once to lead him up to his room after I served him in the lobby. He asked my name. He was a regular guest, but it was the first time I met him. Months later he came back. I went ahead again to serve him. He straight away asked me. Are you Peter? At that point I was speechless. I said yes. He recognised my voice even just after saying hello to him. After a few months serving him only once. Amazing!

So anyone can think anything, they have no idea what these people are capable of doing.

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2 years ago

Aww Peter, that was an amazing experience to share and it makes this post 100 times better... that man sounds like an amazing person :) thanks for the comment, really uplifting

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2 years ago

I also wanted to exclaim that you have beautiful eyes until I saw later on that you were putting on contacts. I actually do find glasses attractive and I have two female friends that always wear them, they look quite beautiful. You don't have to let those things bother you, everybody has flaws and they are part of what makes us beautiful and unique

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2 years ago

You are so sweet to say those words .. thank you Kushy.. your name literally translates to "Happiness" in my language (Kushy = Happiness or Joy)

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2 years ago

Wow 🤩 that's great to hear about my name, thanks Bhargi

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2 years ago

I smile reading about your insecurities. It’s funny how we always long for what we don’t have. Your eyes are beautiful indeed. What is the actual colour of them?

My hair and nails grow like weeds these days. I remember as a child I always wanted to have long curly hair. I remember crying when my mum cut me hair short as a boy one time. She never did it again.

You are right in your conclusion. It doesn’t matter what others think of us, only how we feel ourselves. You are beautiful 💙

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2 years ago

And your comment made me smile ear to ear... the original color of my eyes are dark brown :) And if your nails and hair are growing nicely, that means you have a healthy body sis :) that is amazing how well you are taking care of it.. Kudos.. and are you following curly girl hair method?

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2 years ago

My hair is as straight as it can be! Only have curls when I make them, but I grew to love my hair as it is. I heard about curly girl method from my curly friends though.

My eyes are blue, but I’ve always been strongly attracted to dark brown - no matter male or female 😁

I do my best to keep myself healthy, but I often eat too late, that’s my only issue 🙈

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2 years ago

You have very beautiful eyes, I couldn't agree more. They even say that they are the mirror of our soul. Our happiness does not depend on appearance or mind.Happiness, this is the inner state of the soul. If the soul is calm, if it does not eat anything, nothing is needed. Be happy, my dear!

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2 years ago

My sister also had very poor vision and wore glasses with high magnification. Then she had surgery but although her vision improved she still has to wear glasses.

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2 years ago

Ignorance...best thing

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2 years ago

"It doesnt really matter what they say about you,What actually matter is how you feel about yourself". This would definitely me my favorite phrase for s long time... Keep shining since. You are strong, you are wise, you are brave, you are more than a thousand reason why they would always wish that you were their wife, sister and daughter. 💗💗💗

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2 years ago

Such a sweet thing to say, since I have been there so many times, I kinda realized it that at the end, nothing matters.. including our family too.. what actually matters is us.. our love to ourselves

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2 years ago

I’m glad you are not ashamed to talk about your insecurities, we need more people to speak out just like you just did. I’m so proud of you. Mine is not even physical, I can’t hold my emotions, I am impatient.

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2 years ago

oh well, I can relate to that too haha.. write about it dear, can't wait to read it

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2 years ago

Do you know what? The First time I saw a girl with a blue contact less, I completely fell in love with her eyes. I wish I can see you...😍 Sincerely, from your writing you doesn't look like someone to be underlooked or intimidated. My friend you are good

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2 years ago

You are the sweetest ever.. never heard one bad thing from your mouth :) Bless you and please write about that girl with blue eyes

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2 years ago

HEY my beautiful sister #theblackdoll I also have thin hair and I actually like it all hahahah love you sister:-)

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2 years ago

Haha I like your confidence, love you back :)

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2 years ago

Sometimes people can be so insensitive about these things without knowing how much it hurts those they are mocking

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2 years ago

Yes exactly... which sucks

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2 years ago

You have beautiful eyes doll! And your hair is beautiful too. Your right, what matters is how you feel about yourself, even if sometimes we remember all those years we felt the pain of not fitting in certain standards. I too feel like that sometimes, and I thank you for this prompt, for you gave me something to write about!

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2 years ago

I cannot wait to see what you come up with.. no matter what, we are with each other.. that's the only thing that matters :)

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2 years ago

Dear, I know you as a girl of self confidence and respect. I can easily show your life as an inspiration. You have the abilities. Don't listen to the haters. The Devil is proud of you.

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2 years ago

And I'm so proud of you my devil :)

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2 years ago

There are many children who say things that make others feel bad and if they are not corrected, they will be adults who will make others feel bad. I have seen for myself, the same people that bothered me when I was in school, bothered me when I grew up and I know that if I see them again, they will continue to bother me. The important thing is that I don't pay attention to them, even though what they say makes me feel bad, I should ignore them.

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2 years ago

you are doing the right thing by ignoring them.. that shows your maturity levels

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2 years ago

Regardless of your eye defect, you look beautiful as a kid with those soda bottle glasses lol. .

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2 years ago

hahaha don't say that.. heard that way too many times, actually made me numb

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2 years ago

Made you stronger as well.

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2 years ago

I know you're talking about your insecurities,,, but you're so so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your eyes and your ears are b e a utiful!!!!!!!

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2 years ago

aww thanks :) I'm learning to take that compliment because many people are kind and their comments are genuine

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2 years ago

Good because it's true!!!!

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2 years ago

Being called soda bottle is oite wickedness.. 😃 looks like there are bullies in every stag of life, even children.

Right now nobody would know you have a eye defect since you use contact lenses now. It's stylish approach..haha...

I appreciate your kind of person, not caring about what anyone thinks about you.

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2 years ago

I guess I became numb after going thru such verbal abuse through many years.. thanks dear

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2 years ago

I'm still new here on read and have gotten gotten a point where I feel stuck. I don't know what to do next, I require support.

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2 years ago

all you need to know is post consistently and be active and interactive.. that's all you gotta do

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2 years ago

Sounds really easy.. 🤔 But today's post hardly got any interaction and I'm bothered the article isn't good enough.

I've been very active and interactive.

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2 years ago

Things do not happen overnight dear.. you gotta be consistent about it.. also, if you can, spend some time and boost your articles.. like maybe for 3 hours or so or based on how much you can spend.. Do it for few days and your articles will pick up crowd.. one more thing, people need to remember your name, so just be consistent with what you do and do not expect results overnight, because it does not happen :)

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2 years ago

Thank you very much, I'd make sure to keep all these in mind. I'm boosting the article right away.

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2 years ago

No wait... find a time when people are awake.. like right now, most of the read cash users would be sleeping... because most of users are Filipino, if you want them to notice, boost when they are awake :)

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2 years ago

Woah... that's something new. I guess I'd have have waited till then. Thanks for your support, you're the boss.

I realised the boosting is really expensive, I may not even be able to do it.

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2 years ago

You are a boss too... you're most welcome

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2 years ago

I realise that the boosting fees are too expensive.

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2 years ago