College Experiences that my mom doesn't know about.

Date: September 21,2021
Author: Sequoia

They have said that highschool is the best part of our lives. And I am not opposing with that. In fact, I would even agree with it. Nevertheless, base on my own perspective, it's my college life that brought so much learnings, fun, and experiences that I will surely bring with me until I leave this physical world.

I haven't still finish my college years and I am hoping that I will graduate and achieve my bachelors degree next year. Anyways, my topic will not be about my hopes and desires for my future but my experiences back when I was still a first year college student.

As what I have mentioned above, I was able to attained more experiences and realizations in life the moment I entered the world of sleepless and coffee-dependent people.

Have I ever mentioned during my past articles that I am a self support student? My mom couldn't send me to college and that's when I decided to apply for scholarship in one of the most prominent state university here in our place.

Gladly, I was able to passed the entrance exam that opens the door for me to study freely in college. I really consider myself very blessed despite of not having my desired course.

However, along with those favored opportunities were ineffable and unwanted experiences that I never imagine that will ever happened to me.

And the worst part of those things was it left me voiceless.

Muted.

Alone.

Survivor.

Fighter.

As you have observed. It gradually molded me from being a weakling to unbreakable one. Well, I still do experience breaking at some point in my life. But I've learned throughout the time to stand up and stand firm despite of the trials in front of me.

Anyways, let's cut the crap and go directly to the things that I wanted to share with you but not with my mom. Lol.

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One week straight no sleep

• I am the type of student that will always find way to go home every week. I am a province girl and making me stay in the city more than 7 days will realky drive me nuts and made me sick. I need to breathe in the air of my hometown every week in order for me to be alive again. Lol. So yeah, we have a project that needs to be done within one week. And lucky me pancit canton, I got the most complacent and chill groupmates ever. I have no choice but to lead because if I wouldn't do it, we will all fail. I only ask for their financial contribution and took all the responsibilities since I knew that I couldn't count on them. I made our project every after our class without sleeping. That's my routine for one week straight and swear, my body was starting to give up already. Despite of being alone, I was able to finished it and passed on time. I can clearly see the eyebags in my eyebags and I really lose some weight. I decided not to go home that week because if my mom would see my face. She will definitely freak out. Having enough sleep is my mom's greatest request on me.

Part time job till dawn

• My mom always reminded me not to take any jobs while I am studying. She wants me to focus in my study. However, I couldn't just sit there and wait for the money that she will send to me. I know in myself that I should get a part time job to make money and help my mother. I entered different part time jobs and most of it are night shifts. Therefore, I won't be able to sleep but still needs to go to school in the morning. That leads me to be prone in sickness.

Molested

• I just arrived in my boarding house from a church service that time. It happened around 4 pm in the afternoon if I am not mistaken. By the way, it was weekday and my friend just invited me to their church service which I gladly accepted. I saw our landlord's trusted tenant who's room was just located beside ours. Our landlord appointed him to collect our payment every month. We're the only people in our bhouse that time. I entered my room and changed my clothes. Suddenly, he just knocked in my door and ask me if I wanted to watch a movie since he has a television in his room. I was hesitant at first but then I accepted his invite. However, I just sat outside his room because I can still see the tv from my position. We were just talking while watching and then he offered a coffee. Of course, as a person who easily gets fooled, stup*d and ignorant, I accepted the coffee and even thank him. To cut the long story short, I lost my consciousness after I drank the coffee and then got awaken by his touches. I froze the moment I realized what he was doing and silently prayed to God to save me from this situation. I don't know where I got my courage from but my body just automatically stood up from lying in the floor with half of my body inside his room and the other half was outside. I went directly to my room and locked the door. The moment I shut the door was also the time that I lost all my strength. I cried and cried until I passed out. I was molested. You may say that I was a bit lucky because I wasn't r*pe. Maybe if I wasn't able to wake up that moment, he might have r*pe me. I blame myself for my stupid*ty. I almost killed myself that time. It took me almost two years of praying and deliverance before I was able to overcome it. I am just so thankful to have people who never left my side during those darkest times in my life. Above all, I strongly believe that it was God who saved me from that situation.

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Closing thought

This just all happened during my first year in college and I am now a graduating college student. I decided to keep it from mu mom because I don't wanna make her worried. From all of my experiences, there's only one thing that I would always advice to younger people. And that is to always strengthen your heart and trust in God. He will never leave your side no matter what happens. Life will be full of ups and downs but if you have God beside you, nothing can ever beat you. You'll gonna get through this. Keep fighting and never lose hope. Our God is able!