I don't have much of memories with my father. As you all know, I grow up with my Auntie which I fondly call Mommy, she is my late father's sister and my Mom's sister-in-law. My parents decided to let Mom take care of me, my Mommy and her Partner Mommy Merly. They have a written agreement that they will let Mommy and Mommy M take care of me, so from my Mama's womb they give to my Mommies. I don't know the set up because I never ask about it.
But, my Moms told me the truth when I can understand things enough maybe so that we won't have any misunderstanding if ever they hide it from me and discover it later. When I learn about it, that's I can't remember. The feeling, my reaction or do I have a violent reaction. I can't remember any of it. Now that I'm old, I never me felt any hatred toward my Mama and Papa from doing it. Maybe because, I get to experience a good life with my Moms.
Although, not everyday is a good day for me especially on my teen years as I feel their hands on my neck that I feel like they're choking me with the kind of their way of disciplining me. I almost give up on my studies and just go back to my Mama but then again, I thought of what would be my future if ever I go back to my Mama. Yes, we can eat three times a day but with a lot of hardship. I'm sure I won't be able to attend on college if ever I go back to my Mama.
And, if I will go back in time and if I will be given a chance to choose between Mama and Mom, I'll choose the latter. Actually, no matter who I choose to both of them, I will still be with them naman because our home is just a 15 inch away 😂. I can be with Mama, I can be with Mommy. I can be with both. I love them both and they are both special to me. I'm not good in expressing my feelings but I love both of them to the maximum sustained wind level.
Anyway, going back to my father. If you noticed, I never share some experience here with my Papa. It was because, I don't have anything to share. My Papa is a very cold person who loves booze than us. Or maybe he love us on his own way but we never really felt it. She would rathee spend his time with his peers that to us. He will rather get drunk with of "Tuba" that eat with us. Actually, they'll just eat whenever they want kasi. My siblings and Mama and Papa. They don't eat in one table, if you're hungry then eat whenever you want.
I can't find the right word for him but he is kind of a shy type of person, he's also kind but just cold person. My Mom is the one who says that my Papa is a shy type, I mean no confidence with his skills and just, he's okay with what he had, oh yes! Mana pala ako sa papa ko 🙈. And by the way, I can't remember if I ever had a moment with him. I'm not sweet and expressive of my feelings while he's the same so we don't have that moment, I think, lol.
And there is this moment of him with Mama that I can't really forget. Actually, it happened for like a numerous time, my Mama said but this one marked in my head as I saw him in that state in flesh. I was outside my Moms house that time because I'm reading a pocketbook I think. Then Papa arrived from nowhere and he's in and state as in so drunk that he can't even walk on his own. I think some of his friends brought him home. And Mama that time is so annoyed because it happen again.
Mama take care of Papa, he was so drunk that even peeing can't do on his own. Mama brought him to the comfort room but just slipped because of too much drunkenness. He even vomit and he's in that state when I saw him. Mama clean him up and then Papa just go in his sleep, with a loud sound and that's I think is what's more annoying. It's like, drinking is my Father's scape after the long day of working. He still have time for his friends while he doesn't care about us.
Then Papa suddenly thought of stopping his drinking and smoking habit and he really did. But after that, he had a heat stroke. And hald of his body was affected. He can't walk properly anymore. When he finally thought of changing that's where a big changes is his life came. He also become addicted to a sweet foods like Hany. I think that's his replacement for his craving to cigarettes and alcohol. But the effect to him is also bad.
There is this one time that he had a small wound because of scratching it because it itch, it is very small that he just ignore. But that wound got bigger and it's really bad, the wound become deep and it's not a good sight anymore. He has a diabetes. And that wound made him suffer more that he can't really use his left foot. If before, he can still walk as long as he has something to hold, but after that wound it become different 😥.
I can't remember much about him anymore to be honest. All I can remember is that I'm watching my Mommy Ding trying to revive him using mouth to mouth resuscitation but to no avail, our Creator already got him. I was first year College that time I think. No one ever attend to his burial because that time. We didn't had the chance to inform them. I don't know, all I know is he was brought at the cemetery with only us and a few vehicles, it is very sad.
I cried so hard that time, me and my brother. Just like that, we lost our father. "Happy Fathers Day, Papa. Wherever you are, I hope you're happy watching us here. I missed you 😥, I missed the feeling of having a Father. Even if we're not close, just the thought that I still have a father is enough for me. I didn't even had the chance to buy you a red wine. I wish you have that there to where you are now. ❤️"
To all the Father out there. Happy Father's Day and may you have more strength to face all of the challenges in life, Fighting 💪🎂.
Read this to Start in Club1BCH
June 20, 2021
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kaya pala always your si mama mo nasa articles mo sis. SO sad to knew about it but maybe it's for the best para di narin siya maghirap