Is it a Curse or it's just a Wrong Time of Love?

Years ago when I first met this old woman. I just got out from our University when I saw thst unfamiliar booth. I know that no one is allowed to build a little booth in there to sell something that's why I decided to go to the old woman just to warn her. But I forgot what I really want to say to her when I saw the bracelet that she's selling. They are all beautiful but only one caught my attention.

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It is like a blue eyes that was collected from different people. It is so beautiful that I can't stoo myself from holding it to feel it into my hands. I even tried it to my arms and I thought it is well fitted to me. I decided to buy it but when I look to the old woman, she's looking to me intently like she's reading my mind. I find it weird but I just ignore it. I ask her if how much foe the bracelet but she didn't answer me. She's still staring at me like I'm some specimen that she's studying.

"Granny, how much for his po?" I just repeat the question because I thought she just didn't hear me but still, no response. So I decided to just remove it from my wrist and out it back on her table. And when I finally put it back, she speak. "You are not very lucky with men ha."

I was startled coz I thought she don't speak. I just ignore but she said and didn't give much attention to it. I just repeat the question of how much it is but she reply to me with this "If you really want that, you can have it. There's no need pay." I don't know what to say but still I make it sure by asking her again. "Are you sure? It looks really expensive though." But she didn't answer me again so I thought maybe she's really giving it to me. I just bow to her saying my thanks but before I can do another step, she speak again

"Don't love too much young lady, if you don't want to get hurt."

I actually got chills after hearing those words. But I shrug it off again and continue leaving. It's still in my mind, I mean her words and i really can't help but to think about it even in my bed. But I tries forgetting it and before I can sleep I feel like I am being watch or something.

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Months after that encounter, I already forget about that encounter with the old woman. And I'm wearing the bracelets that I got from her everyday, as in. This is also the time that I met a man, let's call him Jared He's from the same University. I like him instantly coz I feel like I know him since forever. He asked permission if he's allowed to court me. I just said Yes, because I really really like him. We become a couple after just 1 month of courting.

We are celebrating our 1 year Anniversary when something bad happened the result of his death. No one knows the real reason. He's in his sleep and when his family tried to wake him up, he won't wake up anymore. He died in his sleep with unknown reason. Even the doctors can't find the real reason for his death.

I was hurt for what happened coz he's my everything. He is so good to me and love me truly but death separate us apart. I was devasted and it took me another year before I can move on. That's also the time that I met another man, he is Lance. I was working as a call center agent and he is one of my work mates. At first I don't like him coz I'm still not ready to be on another relationship but, eventually we become a couple also.

I am so happy again because I thought I can never move on to my first love. But thanks to him I was able to. We become a couple after just 2 month of courting. I am happy because on our second anniversary, he finally asked my hand to tie the knot. I didn't hesitate to say Yes. Coz after all, I love him so much.

We just celebrate together until 11:30, he just bring me home and we'll meet again the next day. I am watching him driving his, he just really drive me home and he's on his way now to his own home. I am watching him when I saw that something is wrong with his car. It is like someone drunk is driving it coz it's going sideway. That's also the time that I saw a big truck going to his way.

I am so shock that I didn't even made a single move to where I am standing. And when I heard a loud bang like the sound of 2 cars collide. That's where I just reacted. I am already crying when I run to where my fiance's car is. But his car can't be recognize anymore because of how severe the damage in it. His car is under the big truck and I didn't do anything to save him. Or rather, I cant do anything.

And once again this is another heartbreak for me. Until now I can't still believe to what happened. One moment we are happy because we are finally going to move our relationship to the next level. And now this happened, I don't know if I can ever move on to this another heartbreak. Why life is like this? Am I curse? Am I not allowed to love? Or To be happy?

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Another year has pass since Lance death and I already close my heart for another love. All I do now work, go home, sleep and go to work again. It's just the same cycle. I just make my heart made of stone. I just focus myself on my work and make myself busy.

I just accepted that love is not for me. It's not for everyone and I am the unluckiest woman who can't have a happy ending.

May 06, 2011

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