I do not fear dying, but I fear that I might die in the most brutal way
I fear nothing! I fear no one! But I fear that I might fall for you. So what to do?
Chorrrrr, lol!
Hmmm, I don't know where this started but when I was a child I love to swim on the river, we are also a fan of the sea so whenever there's a celebration we will go to the nearest beach and will play there until afternoon or until night. I still remember some but most are not. We have a lot of picture in those important events but I don't want to get it to our hidden treasure chest coz I already put it to a very good place. Anyways, not just that because there's also a time where we will go to Bansud river and swim there to have some fun.
I still remember some words of Mom "don't go to the deepest part of the river or else you will be taken by a supee scary creature of the river." Off course we were just a kid so believe then that's why we will just follow them and will only swim just close to where they are swimmimg. I also remember that time that I can swim very well. I know how to swim but not in an expert level. It's like I am the amateur of all the amateur in the world, lol. I don't know when it started but growing up, my like on swimming is just gone.
From "i love it the most" to "well, it's not bad" - not sure what happened but maybe it's also because I am having a hard time breathing on my nose because of this Polyp that is slowly developing on my nose. This is what I get from hiding it to my Mom. I didn't really give much attention to this growing polyp which I am regretting now, I mean before until now. I just gave my attention to it when I experience having a hard time breathing. I'm not sure if it's my head just playing a tricks on me but I feel like I'll die coz of it.
But anyways, whenever I'm in the water I can't stop myself from overthinking that I might die because of suffocation. My imagination is just so active that this kind of thought is visiting me whenever I'm near at the water. And seriously, I cant stop thinking that I will drown if I tried to stay long under the water lol. But really I am not afraid to die okay, it's just that I think dying from suffocation is kind of brutal. Imagine dying while you are running out of breath. Arghh, that's just not so right. Huhu
So aside from I get anxious whenever I'm in the water like I overthink a lot yeah. Im also afraid to place with a small space like I also feel suffocated with that. I dunno, I'm really afraid to be suffocated huhu. But mine is a bit ridiculous because it's purely on my imagination. Do you get what I mean? Like for example, Mom will asked me to go to this one part of our house that has a very tiny space. But I can still fit in actually. It's not that tiny but has a space for one person.
And whenever I will go there I can't stop thinking unimaginable things, a different scenarios with one ending like I will be trap inside and because I overthink a lot, I might really die because of suffocation. I don't know what's wrong with me. Is it just me? Well, mine is not that severe like the others. Some when you put them in that kind of place will tremble in fear but mine is just in my head and when I start to overthink this is where I will feel anxious after that I will get out to that place immediately.
I fear water and tiny place but not that too much like it will need assistant already. I can still put some sense to my head after that. It's just that I can't avoid scaring myself too much because of my own imagination, lol. How about you? What's your fear aside from getting a rejection from your crush? Lelelelel
Thanks Mareng @Zhyne06 . Because of you I have a topic for today ehe. We just talked on messenger the other night about her fears of height. (Share yours now mareng, hihi) Because of that, the memories I thought I forgot suddenly remember my brain again lol. Why is that no? Sometimes you will need something that can trigger some of your memory to be remember ehe. Just like mine ehe.
May 20, 2022
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di ako marunong lumangoy pero keribels lang..kung hanggang diyan ka nalang talaga wala ka na magagawa