Build Bridges, Do Not Burn Them

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."

Wayne Dyer

In a situation whereby there is a big plank that is used as a bridge on a small river so you can be able to pass over to the other side without having to walk in the water to get to your house, and because the plank accidentally hit you and you got wounded, you decided to remove the plank out of anger and even destroy it, perhaps you did the work yourself, but because of the pain you experience, you angrily shatter it. Will you be able to get through the water without the plank? Of course, you won´t especially if there are harmful objects or animals in the river.

That is what anger can actually cause, as it will make you destroy something without knowing, and when you have calmed down, you regret your action and try to make amends where you could have just avoided it. Though, we would always be angry but make sure to get over it immediately and continue your life with such a person. Life is too small to start creating hatred in you. 

Just like the scenario I gave with the title of my post, we are to build bridges and not burn them because of our temperament or anger. Bridges stands as friends, and we have been told how relationships are important. 

Though, we have read many times where it has been said we should know our circle and move away from unhealthy relationships or friendship. The fact that the statement is true, we also must know that getting rid of them completely isn't the best, we are only burning bridges, but we still can relate with them but limiting our closeness is what it means. 

A smoker who keeps smoking and because of such behavior, you avoid him. Don´t you think a time will come when you will need him? There will surely be a time you will need such individuals in the future, but your friendship, even if not close, would help you a lot to gain an opportunity through them. We can never predict what will happen tomorrow. 

Someone's behavior or attitude towards you might be bad and hurt you, remember you can get angry with them, but never ignore them completely, because such a person might turn a new leaf tomorrow and be in a better position where you would probably need them. 

I have heard of a story of two partners who got separated but still maintained friendship mode and after some years, the guy was in the position to help secure a space in an organization for the lady. They were both at fault then but chose to let go and continue their friendship even when they had moved on separately. 

Even if you need to move away from a relationship, you must be careful not to damage it because you might need each other again, but how would it feel when you damage and ruin a relationship and the next time, it blocks you from an opportunity? It will be such a great regret and going back to make amends might be too late. So, in order not to experience “it's too late”, there is a need to maintain a relationship, if at all, you do not want to continue anymore. 

A bridge could mean connectivity, and no matter what transpired in a relationship, if you burn it, you have completely cut off all links you ever needed in the future. 

I have always understood that relationships are valuable and must be cherished, never to look down on anyone because I can't say what will happen tomorrow. I am always careful, if at all I need to get angry over someone. It won't take long before I put on a smiling face with such a person because I always take note of tomorrow and the law that says karma is real. It is what you give, you receive. 

We all have limited time at a particular place and when all of us have departed, the next is to see each other in the future happy for ourselves and be able to embrace each other, because the connection is still there even though it's been long we have set our eyes on each other. 

A poor man today doesn't mean you should avoid him and ruin your relationship especially if you are the rich type. Remember, you do not have his destiny with you, God has His way of changing one´s destiny. Build bridges and not burn them because they will be useful to you later when you do not expect it. 

We were told how we need to make friends while in school and not for anything, but not to ruin or damage a relationship because when we all graduate, there is a chance we would get help from anyone and when our relationship has been intact right from time, it would be easier to get what you need. 

Also, what I do today, I am trying to buy the chance for my children as I do not want to be a blocking stone to my children's progress. Many times, your children are the one getting punished for the offense you committed in the past. You will only be like a bad parent to them that day. 

So be careful how you relate with people. You can stop a relationship if you think it's not driving you anywhere but be careful not to destroy it but consider the future as you might still see each other and would want to help yourselves. 

Even after your relationship isn't working with the other person, do not stop communicating, at least checking up on yourself once in a while and not totally forgetting about it. Friends would definitely need each other someday and your reaction to a relationship today determines the outcome tomorrow. Do not burn bridges but build them for your own good and for others who might want to benefit from you. 

This made me remember a time when I was in secondary school. There were some bad boys who were touts and would always smash bottles among each other to fight. They would keep coming to our place and Dad never chased them for once because of their bad behavior.

So, my school was having its inter house sport that day and suddenly a fight ensued among the bad boys because of girls. They injured many students including teachers and everywhere was scattered. It became an issue of "fight for your lives". These boys were around then and they started destroying everything in the school but suddenly, one of the boys sighted me and was like “this is Obey´s daughter, let her go. Do not touch her, Her dad is sure” They used to call my dad "Baba Obey'' because of his love for a Yoruba musician called Ebenezer Obey, my Nigerian friends will know the popular musician. I can never forget such a day and it keeps ringing in my head and I have determined to be good to everyone and maintain my relationship, not for me alone, but for my generation. 

If my Dad had destroyed his relationship with these boys then because of their behaviors, I believe I would be injured that day because I was almost caught by one of the touts that day, if not for one who sighted me and told them not to harm me. 

Let's remember the future because it would be a shock when we finally meet after many years and in one way or the other, there would be help from each other. 

Thanks for reading from me again. I appreciate your supports every time.

Image credit: Sandip on unsplash

Image credit 2: Joel Muniz on unsplash

[March 17, 2022] (No 76 article for the year)