Wide-eyed Wednesday

I don't like this Wednesday.

Don't get me wrong. The day has not been concluded yet and I am pretty sure I still will end up being okay with it. I am typing this mid day. And I have to because I am being stressed out - by none other than my overthinking self.

Just few hours back (it is safer to count the hours as I cannot at this point get my head to really count how many days back), I have been asking myself what are my pet peeves the question being drawn out by Bloghound's article. I have a lot of pet peeves. But like I also commented there, they seem to hide from me when I start to name them one by one.

Now that I am being stressed out, I repeat, by none other than my glorious overthinking self - caffeinated or not (but I am caffeinated twice as of typing by the measure of my small cute clear cup). They are volunteering to out themselves - some of them at least!

What is running through my overthinking head?

I reviewed my past email with a lead regarding me being picked for some sort of "meeting" representing the team. This is one of my pet peeve : I do not like being volunteered to an event that I do not like the agenda or do not care about. But I have to, right? Everyone else got volunteered for it. And at some point in your professional life you have to say yes to such and also because weighing the tasks, I have the bandwidth to accommodate. But it takes a lot of energy to accept that attention. I do not like spotlights that do not fall under the "fun" category.

And it is going to happen. Today. I was primed, alright. Days before, I was informed of what is going to take place. But being primed does not tame my panicking, pissed self. First of, the activity will not help me with my task or deadline. It will break my concentration on what I was doing. That is one thing that I do not like about daily checkups as well. I so not like being micro managed. Second, that's talking to strangers! Talking to strangers who I feel have some kind of hidden agenda. What if I turn out to be a Jeremy (reference here in case you haven't read. Yes this is a plug portion. ) and start saying things I should not say?

And then, and then, there is that thought of after surviving that short thirty minutes of questioning I'd hear my lead's voice. Of course she will check on me. Hahah that is one button-pusher, switch-flippin' thing there, really. On my good days, I'm fine with that since I have to accept that I will be hearing her voice every single day, right? But some days when I have my plate full and I am chugging a glass (half-full or half empty) of resolving issues with my assignment, hearing the lead's voice shortens the fuse box of calm. My teammate called out my attention one time after our meeting saying my voice was not calm and the irritation was felt. Woops, my bad. Don't get me wrong though. I get along well with my lead some times. I am yet to reign in that one. I have a friend, well one too many, who laughingly told me, I am one very transparent person when irritated.

When you think about it, these are normal things, normal happenings in a corporate world which I have survived time and time again. My introvert self and that large part of me that does not like getting disturbed or derailed has survived years with none other than God's grace! haha.

And that is what's going to happen later.. I will get through fine!

That out.. I'm liking this Wednesday now.

Soldier on, warriors!

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