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3 Essential Factors to Consider on How to Have a Successful Online Relationship
Back when I was still single and not even ready to mingle because I dedicated most of my time to achieve my goal for my family back in my country, it was never an intention to work in the Middle East and found "love" instead. It was destiny that brought me into the path of matrimony.
When the pandemic hits the world, Long Distance Relationship, technically Online Dating has been the trend. I have seen many stories online wherein the guy was from the other side of the world while the girl was the exact opposite. The distance was never a problem for them at all. Online dating has its pros and cons, it is a matter of consistency and commitment that takes for a relationship to work.
This post has the goal to inspire those who are in online dating as well and that if there's a reason to fight for your love, then just hang on and keep the sparks alive no matter what circumstances you both are in. Remember what Leonardo Da Vinci said, "Life without LOVE is not a life at all.!"
An excerpt of my previous post-Doha: My Adventure of Work and Love wherein hubby and I met online, it was merely out of curiosity that I checked into that dating site a friend of mine signed up for me. It was an insane idea that I told her not to mess up with my profile. I was not looking for anybody but a mere acquaintance.
You have to consider working in the Middle East was not at all a bed of roses and having at least a sensible conversation with someone from a robust working environment was a good start.
“Whoah, what was that all about?”I was stunned. Personally, that was sort of like an A++ point for a grade. It was a plain and simple act of reaching out on the first-ever Skype turned into a phone call initially. Did I primarily mention I was not really into him as I have told myself it was the usual cyber set-up?
This scenario was our first ever Skype video call wherein hubby took an extra mile to call me on my phone as he asked for my number and thinking there's nothing wrong with it because I did a bit of background checked, and TRUST was an issue for me, he eventually called me despite talking over a video call.
Before meeting my husband, upon checking the innermost reason also why I wanted to work overseas, went out from my comfort zone in the Philippines and definitely be away seven seas apart from everyone moreover signed up to an online dating site through my friend’s recommendation per se, it was because I was confronted with an uncomfortable, too awkward and bitter state of running away from harsh reality during a gathering or a reunion and someone would ask,
“So what about you?
Or worst when they knew for a fact that I don’t even have a boyfriend and yet they had the nerve to ask,
“When are you getting married? You’re 29 and you’re not getting any younger et cetera convincing myself to be better off alone, smiling at them saying,
“Oh no worries, our roads will cross in God’s perfect time.”
And true enough after my successful interview bound for Doha, I had never thought of getting married in a pristine garden wedding in Seychelles however our so-called matrimonial consummation has to be filled with jam-packed preparation as it was our trip back to Qatar the next day, January 11, 2015, and we needed to be in the airport at 4 am to catch our flight at around 6 in the morning. It was extremely frantic and I was dozing off in the plane not to mention that upon arrival at Hamad International Airport we had to go on our separate ways. I had to go home straight to the villa where I’m staying and he had to go directly to his flat. How’s that for a newlywed huh? Might as well let sleeping dogs lie!
Being in a relationship especially when both of you are working in the Middle East was not at all a bed of roses. Mind you guys during the whole getting to know stage, going out on a date mode for two years and seeing each other at least once a week, although in between we checked how each one was doing during the day, dinner together online. Lucky enough when he’s off during the weekdays, figuratively speaking it was ridiculously annoying at times.
Like there was one instant we went to Souq Waqif.
It was winter, as you can’t roam around Souq when it’s summer or else you will be roasted! Kidding aside, after an early dinner at one of the restaurants we decided to walk a bit going to the Corniche area. As it was a bit chilly, we opted to gaze at the skyscrapers where the colourful lights captured our attention.
The setting might be a bit romantic but be careful with the distance as there’s a huge as in a gigantic sign of “NO- H_H_W_W”, public display of affection and be lovey-dovey were technically prohibited. I was literally “not-that-freezing-mode” yet I’m a bit cold, he had seen how I had been struggling with the weather, gave his coat to no avail, and asked the most obvious question,
“Honey, are you cold?” Perhaps rolling my eyes was the best way to communicate at that time, crossing my fingers he would do something amorous, and to my surprised he just did. Stood up, check for the time, uttered, “Okay my love, it’s time to go home!” Don't ever expect a hug or both of your would be in trouble!
Relationship whether online or offline is an investment. Allow me to share my three points with you on this matter because I have a firm conviction that we need to seriously consider some issues before jumping into any connections with someone with whom we will plan of spending the rest of our lives with especially when we associate with that person virtually in the outset.
it is a matter of fact that this area of communication must be highly taken into consideration because before meeting my husband I had a long-distance relationship since geographical margin was always the issue then it was disconnected shortly thereafter.
This may work for some couple whom I had in contact with but they had honestly revealed how tough it was for both of them to be consistently
“be there for each other” when moments of ups and downs were just so uncalled for, however, the notion was, if it is the “RIGHT” relationship for you then location and distance is not at an issue after all.
2. TIME DIFFERENCE- an interval of 24, 48 or triple hours is such a huge gap when it comes to an online relationship. I am reminded of the song by Jireh Lim entitled “Magkabilang Mundo" where the message of the song speaks about two people who are practically two opposite zones like the North and South Poles which is insane. However, like I always mentioned, being so “BUSY” is a lame excuse not to spend it on the person you care about.
3. LANGUAGE BARRIER- two different worlds can collide when this basic communication skill is taken for granted. When you're with someone from different culture, a foundational relationship requires language orientation on how both of you could grow in the relationship. In the Philippines, rice is our staple food, and eating it thrice a day is conventional. I remembered the first time I came for a holiday in Mahe with my husband’s family, (we’re still on the gf-bf stage at that time), the next morning, I was asked what do I want for breakfast, out of the blue I said, “Do we have rice?” and everyone was chuckling hiding their amusement. It was fun!
Meeting someone online is nothing new given the advancement of our technology and it would break or bridge a gap in a relationship. It takes a lot of EFFORT and COMMITMENT to maintain the intensity of being together forever especially in a virtual world. The beauty lies when two hearts intertwined would always compensate for how both parties can surpass the challenges.
Distance and location might not work as well as Time Difference would always be a problem accompanied with Language Barrier however when both are willing to sacrifice and COMMIT, all these are just pieces of a cake, instead spread Love and Success in a relationship.
Images used in this post are from all from Pexels edited via Adobe Sparks