You Can't Love Without Giving.

A friend of mine shared with me this morning how a comment she made on Twitter was completely taken out of context. She was trying to say something in addition to what the first tweet said but obviously, most people pushed their projection on her, taking her tweet completely out of context.

Indeed, poverty has made many ladies believe that once their boyfriend doesn't give them a significant amount of money then it means he doesn't love them. I've written so many times and even recently shared in one of my posts about a lady who requested monthly pay from her boyfriend which made that one share his story with me and run.

No doubt, a lot of ladies have made relationships a money-making venture because they believed you shouldn't be dating them if you cannot give them money then if that's the case, I believe those who major in being a "sex worker" would have been better then, isn't it? At least they don't charge monthly, it's pay as you use 🤣🤣😂🤣😂.

A relationship isn't just about money but most people have made it to be all about money. They are in it for what they want to gain and that's what the first lady was trying to point out there. If money is not involved then nothing else matters to them. Money is indeed not everything but trust me, it is important because it's an avenue to show others that you are thoughtful. Yes, you can show your thoughtfulness in many ways but gifting things which are of course bought with money can be one of those ways too.

The problem with most ladies is that they feel the only thing they have to offer in a relationship is their body which makes it easier for them to make demands on anyone who is dating them. If the only value you can trade for in your relationship is your body then you might need to re-evaluate your ways.

A lot of people have allowed their frustration and their reality to get the better of them so they would go to any length to misunderstand you deliberately which was the case my friend faced this morning when she told me how they were twisting her words on Twitter. Most people try to mirror their frustration on others. We have a lot of frustrated people around so they try to lash on just about anything so they can ruin your mood because they certainly didn't want to be the only one with a foul mood so they want to ruin yours too.

What she said is clear and it's better explained like this; you can give without necessarily being in a romantic relationship with anyone but you cannot claim to be in love with someone without learning how to give. I understand that giving is relative because you can give your time, energy, your resources and even your ears to someone you love but let's face it, who would want to be with someone who only listens to you, shows support in words without going out of his way to gift you things no matter how little?

A lot of people are not practical and most motivational speakers seem to have messed with their heads. You have a girlfriend, she is devoted to you and you love her yet her birthday came and you didn't even get her the smallest of gifts? You couldn't even sacrifice a little bit of your comfort just to make her day? It's another thing if she didn't appreciate it because she felt whatever you offered is little and with that, you would understand that she is in it for what she wants to gain rather than what you both shared but you can't claim to love her without going out of your way ONCE in a while.

Imagine having a girlfriend or a boyfriend who needed help to sort out either school bills or house bills and the thought of it is getting that person down. You claimed to love the person and you are telling me you won't seek ways to help the person in the tiniest ways possible? Even if it means you give them a little fraction of that money?

My friend was only pointing out there that you have to help your partner in any way they needed help even if it involves giving them money to sort out things that need to be sorted out and that's how people know that they mean at least something to you when you could be there for them in their darkest hours, not just in giving advice alone but backing it up with actions.

Most people don't understand the meaning of sacrifice in a relationship because they are busy reading off social media the one-sided story of how a boy or a girl they helped suddenly went with another person which makes it difficult for them and they get the mindset that everyone is about money in a relationship.

We have to learn from the experiences we see out there, yes, but that doesn't have to be our reality. A lot of people start second-guessing everyone they are dating instead of getting to know who they are. You are to judge people for who they are with you and not what the social media tells you that a particular gender is else you won't be able to get the best out of that relationship.

Money is not the ultimate, gifts aren't the ultimate in a relationship but you can be sure they help because of the thoughts behind it. Who wouldn't want to have their partner come through for them at the time they needed it? Does that make them materialistic? Absolutely not. A lot of people forget that we have different ways we respond to love as a result of the various love languages we have and respond to. Some, their love language is a show of affection and that includes everything... Some could be gifts because that's how they know that you care and yes, everything must be in moderation.

Thank you for your time.

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