The COMedy Rumble: Strange Things.

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2 years ago
Topics: Comedy, Funny, Life, Blogging, Nigeria, ...

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I submitted an entry for the Comedy Open Mic on Hive and I shared my experience based on what I faced when I was serving in another state as far back as 2008. It's something you can look back on and smile about now but it wasn't something to laugh at back then. We were mostly angry and looked forward to when we would leave service year πŸ€£πŸ˜‚. I also shared some of the strange food combinations people eat which I can never understand πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

I've had my fair share of strange things in this life. The things that left my jaw dropping and the ones that makes me show that surprised emoji as though my eyes would pop out from their sockets. Some things my eyes have seen, even my mouth is tired of talking about them. Sometimes I just look the other way and mind my business but there are some times you just can't mind your business especially when you are being dealt with by the mosquitoes.

During my mandatory National Youth Service Corps after graduation from the University, I was posted to another state called Kwara. I have never been there but I was excited because at least I wasn't sent into a land so far away. It's just 3-4 hours away from my State. After the orientation camp, I was posted to a place called Lafiagi which is another roughly 2 hours.

Everything in that place is always to the extreme πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚. If it rains, just pray you are indoors else you wouldn't have a place to hide except in another person's house. When it's windy, just pray you have no clothing items outside else, just plan on buying another cloth because you can't find it again. Ah! When it's sunny, you can have your bath 3-4 times a day and I wondered if maybe that's why everyone there looks so dark πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. We were in the common room when this wind started that day. I saw it coming and I quickly ran into my room, locked my windows and bolted my door when someone ran downstairs to pick up his washed clothes. As he was passing the common room, this wind lifted the blackboard and threw it on his back as though the wind was angry why it was denied an opportunity to wear clothes. It was funnier when the guy narrated it to us.

It was in this place that I noticed mosquitoes are different. Ah. Whoever tells you that simple things in life don't matter, knock the person on the head because it's obvious that person has never been in bed with a mosquito. Tiny but powerful with commanding effect. I've never seen a mosquito with curvy proboscis or mouth before. I killed this mosquito and I noticed the curvy mouth. That was when I knew that mosquitoes have grade - straight mouths, curvy mouths, bent mouths and strange-looking ones too.

Another strange thing I've seen involves food. If you live in Nigeria and you see some weird food combinations, just know that whoever is combining such want to fill the tummy so they won't have to eat again either till the next day or later that night. We call it tummy stuffing but I can never understand people combining Noodles/Spag with bread. Ah. Are you a cultist? What is your sole purpose or what do you want to achieve with that weird combo? How can people combine noodles with bread, bread oh... I mean bread? Ah

The one that gets me confused the most are those who combine Fufu (Starch) with beans. When you are not an armed robber, how can people eat Fufu (Starch) with beans? I've always been hearing the phrase that says "Many are mad but few are roaming" I actually believed it for the first time when I started seeing weird food combinations.

What's the weird food combination you've had or seen before now? I would love to know...

Thank you for your time.

My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks. I am love's chemical content in human form and that's whyΒ  I advise people to take a dose of "Olawalium" daily. πŸ™ˆ

Kindly follow me on Noise.Cash... I am trying to engage more with people and connect with everyone with this account. I look forward to seeing you there... You can say hello to me there so we can get familiarized as well. Click here.

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2 years ago
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Comments

Nice! Found you via Dreemport!

Glad I did!

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2 years ago

Welcome on board. Thank you so much.

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2 years ago

Good to hear about your time in service. I cant imagine to think what people are doing all day in the army.

I came from Dreemport.

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2 years ago

Thank you so much... I am super excited to have you here.

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2 years ago

Hahaha, funny enough I have not only eaten the two but one of them is a regular practice. Once I buy indomie, bread πŸ₯ͺ is the next. Although I buy egg once in a while with indomie, but really bread and indomie is a regular for me. The way you are surprised was how I shouted and swore that I will never try it, but when I did, it became a habit.

I have eaten beans and eba. Haha. A professor served us that in her house, hahaha. She is rich but that is one of her favorite meals and when she served it, we enjoyed it,my friend and I.

Lastly one of my colleagues eats indomie and garri. He drinks it as he eats the indomie. Hahaha. That one, I cannot try.

Bros, I drink garri and banana o. I drink my sprite with groundnuts. Haha. I pour peeled groundnuts into my sprite , I enjoy it more as I sip, some chewable nuts follow me. Hahaha. I also eat raw rice while washing rice to cook or while picking beans. I mean all I have said.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Ah! You've done everything o, what now remain? You will soon try Indomie and Garri and you will like it too πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚. I can never try any of these... I won't even attempt it...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ Ko le werk πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£. I hail you o... You've done them... Done and dusty. Tuale 🀣🀣🀣

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2 years ago

I take noodles with bread but haven't tried the Fufu with beans but I know of people that take them. You should know that is another food combo that will make you sit down just to hold your head and position it well and to make sure your brain can still reasonπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Extremity rules Kwara state, I have been there so I know how it feels. Their rain is made of ice blocks instead of normal water. I can say nothing seems normal there.

There is even some sort of peace there which is not normal as the country only cares about Violence.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ I don't want to try any of these combos. I can't handle it πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

That's indeed the life of the extremities. So many things are to the extremes there...even the peace is to the extreme πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

But the noodles and bread make sense die, you should probably try coconut and bread too. I have a friend who would rather use palm oil and garri mixture to eat bread than using stew.

There's one we call Shagbarigidi, you make garri(eba) but in it, they will be salt, fresh pepper(grounded), crab, maggi in it while you turn it together before eating.

They are many others oo, but let me sha keep mute.πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

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2 years ago

Ah. This is beyond me o, Balikis πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£. I can never try any of the things you mentioned. Coconut and bread? When I am not a kidnapper. Kilode? Nah.

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2 years ago

Sweet foodπŸ₯°πŸ₯° coconut and fresh bread make sense o. It'd be like you are using crunchy butter. But I don't take the Shagbarigidi sha. I no fitπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£ you are a case. I don't think I can ever try it.

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2 years ago

Well, I tried my best. Good luck then

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2 years ago

Thank you πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’, e no reach my mind.

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ I know.

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2 years ago

πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

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2 years ago

Very different place with different happenings where you were posted. Especially the extreme weather very interesting.

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2 years ago

Each region with their own happenings... Absolutely, each region with weird food combos too.

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2 years ago

What of eba and ekuru, for this country, na where u reach ooo people are eating something

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2 years ago

Ah! My precious Ekuru with Eba? Ah.

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2 years ago

That's a weird combination ooo,🀣🀣🀣

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2 years ago

Terrible combination πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Ha, you have shake my table now oooπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…, I love eating noodles and bread very well. It's very sweet ooo to be candid but it's weird truly πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…. That's the only combo I have tried out but have seen a lot of people eat mad stuff, some eat Eba and beans together, chai πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

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2 years ago

Princess said she ate Eba with beans and it's sweet. Ah. She's a hoodlum πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚. These weird combos enh, I can never try it o.

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2 years ago

Big time hoodlum, she can choke person oooπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

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2 years ago

This is the time to avoid her πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£. @princessbusayo you have been marked o. Avoid us please πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…please avoid us ooo my princess.

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ better.

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2 years ago

You and Gaftek ehn πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Well let me surprise you I am among those weird cultist who eats food in weird combinations. From noodles with bread, rice, chapati are normal for me. But we do it rarely. I think our taste buds sometimes wants to taste different and have urge to mix different foods. Rice with chips, biscuits with bread or chapati. There are so many combinations I have tried that I don't remember at all. Yeah one more ate rice with honey. It was delicious but the consumption was huge of honey for single day. So never tried it again.

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you are weird hahahaha I agree, your combinations are weird. Rice with chips? Ah. Bread with biscuits? Ah. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ I can't.

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2 years ago

C'mon for everything there's first time. Be confident and try, lmao!

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ they used to say "Know Thyself". I know myself enough never to try it. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I'm currently studying in Kwara state and I can relate very well.. When there is cold, just forget bathing in the morning.. Move it to the afternoon.. Though the food part, what I eat mostly is EBAπŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜₯πŸ˜«πŸ˜”

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2 years ago

Kwara enh... Serious extremes there. Everything is always in excess. Very scary.

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2 years ago

I was already screaming about the spaghetti and bread, until I saw fufu and beans πŸ˜‚ Omo! God punish poverty, how do they even eat something like that? They chew the fufu abi wetin? That's gotta be the worst food combo I have heard, way worse than drinking garri with raw plantain (yes, I have seen it happen πŸ˜‚)

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2 years ago

I think people come up with weird food combo based on how hungry they are at the moment. I can't even begin to imagine Fufu with beans. Is beans the stew they did it in? I can never understand. I am angry...how dare they ridicule my plantain like that??? πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I was shocked the day I saw it, he didn't even fry the plantain or bother to cook it, just eating it raw with garri. Hunger is a respecter of no man πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ I think hunger makes people come up with these weird combos because they want to stuff their tummy so well and they would rely on drinking water all through.

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2 years ago

Haa jesu lol 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 Which one is fufu with beans....God of mercy...my stomach oooo🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣....nothing person will not hear and see...when you think you have seen it all...it's just the beginning 🀣🀣🀣

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2 years ago

That person must have been very hungry to have combined that weird combo together. Maybe they ran out of stew because I can never understand it. It's weird and funny to me too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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2 years ago

Let them kwotinu

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2 years ago

Dem go dey alright πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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2 years ago

Noddles and bread is a normal combo for us sir, haven't you seen someone use Noddles to drink pap/custard.. Or is it Eba with Noddles...

Nigerians are blessed with a strong immune system, because the kind of terrible things people eat. You will wonder if it is for hunger or for fameπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so many terrible and weird combos. The kind of things we eat enh, we should have landed at the hospital πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Aswear ooooo 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 We are so blessed honestly no cap.... Kai...Imagine me eating cabin biscuit with pap ahhh my mom lasan I don't understand ahh...and I would enjoy it very well.

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ cabin biscuits with pap. Do you break it inside the pap or what?

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2 years ago

I don't remember...but I think I would bite it and scoop the pap

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ oh my!!! Never.

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2 years ago

your own still make sense, what about eating beans with akaraπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.. Shey! We wan die for this country ni

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2 years ago

Ah. Akara with beans again? Beans on beans πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Haaa beans with akara.....what's the difference lmao 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣.....it's same thing nau...just that this one is grinded and fried while the other is cooked....🀣🀣🀣...crazy things are happening 🀣

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2 years ago

Stranger things are happening πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ my Ces.

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2 years ago

Very soon strangest things would happen too 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

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2 years ago

They are everywhere. We are seeing them already πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£.

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2 years ago

Lool I hope so

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2 years ago

😊😊😊❣️

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2 years ago

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🌚🌚🌚🌚

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2 years ago

🍷🍷🍸🍾🍾🍸🍹

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2 years ago

That's the reason for the popular comment 'we no reach 5 again for this country we head still correct...' . have seen someone eat rice while smoking cigarette...πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ at the point, I give up...I really give up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

Crazy things are happening by tems who knows what she had seen 🀣

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2 years ago

Her eyes don see shege and weirdos πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

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2 years ago

it is funny especially the part where to talked about the different type of mosquito you saw.....In my school days i have seen a lady eating rice and beans with okoro soup i can never forget that day it was weird and funny. I have eaten beans and eko kolobo before my GF find it wired but i love it very sweet

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2 years ago

Rice and beans with okro soup πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ what are we doing in this country? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ Eko and beans... I think I've tried that one before. My mom always make us eat it back then.

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2 years ago

Have you even see the combination of Rice and Okro/Ewedu before? πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

My mom taught me then and I only ate it twice or so but now, I don't dare eat it. Why would I when I am not poor 🀣🀣

Na condition make us eat such weird combination and mom would be like β€œit is the best food ever”. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Also, go and try beans and Eba. When I used to eat Eba, I don't miss eating with beans 🀣🀣🀣🀣

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2 years ago

Ah! It's official, you are not alright πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚ Eba with beans? Ah! When it's not as if you don't want to eat again for the rest of the day? You will just be drinking water. I can never...πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ That is a way not to be hungry especially when you don't know what will be provided as food. At least that alone don full your stomach πŸ˜†

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ oh boy! People dey para...

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2 years ago

Quite strong what you lived, without a doubt perfect to see life from another perspective. Regarding the food thing in Nigeria, I have also seen that pattern here in Venezuela.

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2 years ago

Yes, it's the same everywhere. Most people have weird food combos they eat.

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2 years ago

I guess I won't survive living in that place.. I don't want to get hit by a hard board on a windy day 🀣

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2 years ago

My Janey is delicate, I don't even want you living in this particular area. I have other tush and posh areas for you here in Nigeria where you will be living the baby girl kinda fun life.

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2 years ago

I never saw something like curvy mosquitoes, heheh, that sounds weird. Me too have combine different ingredients in cooking when there is nothing left in the kitchen.

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2 years ago

I saw different mosquitoes and I feared for my life πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

Hahahaha you are one of the explorers too πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

I just imagine how the person looks like when it got hits by the flying boardπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ that was indeed funny, but I wish it didn't hurt the person that much. Anyway that spaghetti with bread is not weird to me as I like that combination πŸ€£πŸ˜‚, but not now anymore as that combination makes me fat. I mean fattier..,🀣

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ the board dealt with the guy and he's a tall guy. Thank God he wasn't injured but he didn't expect it πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚.

You also eat bread and spag? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Now I know the weird food combo you also eat. I wish you see your latest picture or your picture when you used to eat it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£.

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2 years ago

I think its the ones you just listed above, noodles with bread. Am still trying to wrap my head around that. How will it taste like and what's the nutritional value. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I can't understand the nutritional value either. I can never try it no matter what... except money is involved anyway πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚... That's the only value I wish to trade to try it and it has to be for the right price πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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2 years ago

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

I think the weirdest I have had is noodles and bread...it tasted nice Sha I won't lie😜

The weirdest I have seen is soup and biscuit...abeg why would anybody even want to do this? I just kept looking at this friend of mine as she was telling me omor it's sweet ooo..

I wept!

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2 years ago

πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ so you are the bread and noodles gang... I've marked you now πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£.

Soup and biscuit? Some people are not just normal πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I was also told people take Fufu with beans. Ah. Are they okay at all? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago

I eat my pasta with bread. That's delicious. Haha

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2 years ago

Whaaaaaaaat? That's a huge disrespect for your pasta πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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2 years ago

I don't have a lot of experience as the same like yours, our living is such natural and were poor that cannot afford a different kind of food.Our common food combination is an Egg will mix any kind of can goods like sardines or corned beef.its very deliciousπŸ˜…

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2 years ago

Eggs with Sardine or corned beef... That's not bad at all. I've not tried it before though, not sure.

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2 years ago

Yeah it's really delicious,promise you will like it

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2 years ago

I think this is something I can try but never bread with noodles πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

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2 years ago