It's Who You Are.

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2 years ago

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I came across a Twitter thread about a lady who is always against other ethnic groups except hers. She feels her tribe is the best of all and even said she would never marry anyone else from some particular tribe. As many people bombarded her thread, some were abusing her while others were saying she is entitled to her opinion and that's right. You might not agree with her (of course, I didn't agree with her and I was tempted to leave a comment too but didn't), but you have to respect her opinion.

We are shaped by the things we go through in life and when we see certain patterns we can't help but accept them as a reality. I can't blame the lady on the Twitter thread that much because it might be that all the people that surrounded her had terrible experiences from those set tribes or maybe she had personal experience too regarding certain tribes and that made up her mind quickly as to not entertaining anyone from other tribes.

The mistake she made is that she generalized this. She seems to have forgotten that we are all different and we are all shaped by different experiences too. What worked for one might not necessarily work for the other and since those around her experienced such, it doesn't mean she would too.

Someone once joked that "Why do girls take so long to choose since they already agreed that all men are the same?" Another one like it says, "All men are the same? Who asked you to try ALL men?". Jokes apart, I don't think it's about the tribe or ethnicity or race or even religion, it's more about the person not where they are from.

Who you are is greater than what you have because what you have is a result of who you are. We often confuse what others have to determine who they are. In the comment section, one guy from this lady's tribe started abusing others by telling them they should go to their low paying jobs because it's their tribe that earns that low... Bla Bla Bla. We attribute so much importance to what people have to determine who they are.

We don't have to forget our humanity in all that we do because that's who we are. We have to look away from religion, from the culture, from ethnicity, from race and everything that seem to bring about a division between us as humans. There are certain people that would never be kind to another tribe no matter how much they are in need. There are those who will give preference to those from their religion over those that are not from their religion no matter how better skilled they are. We have allowed where we are, where we come from to cloud who we are expected to be.

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Just as I have said that it's not love that hurt us but humans. It's the same way when we feel offended by the action of others, they are the ones to be held responsible, not necessarily where they are from, so we don't have to generalize anything. It's who you are that matters and when others hurt you, it's who they are. Stop blaming their race even if there were certain patterns and traits from that particular sect. We have seen those who stepped away from the norms regardless of their race. We are responsible for how we turn out so we can't blame anyone else but us.

There are many people from a particular sect that has been known to be unkind, yet they defied the odds and still showed kindness to others because life is about you...not about where you come from. Where you came from can influence who you are, yes, but it doesn't have to dictate who you will be. What you did, that's who you are but not what you will become.

I read the story of a man from another tribe just this morning and that's what inspired this post coupled with the thread of the lady I read yesterday which I mentioned earlier too. This guy said her mother was retrenched from her job and she was really struggling with finances back then. She was expected to pay 2 years rent because she has defaulted for a long time but the landlord didn't say much.

She managed to sell some of her assets or however she came up with the money. She approached the landlord with the 2 years rent intact and the landlord turned it down in a way. The landlord refunded a year rent to her and told her to use the one year rent to take care of her family because her children matter more than the rent. The guy said the landlord was a Muslim and a Yoruba as well (a tribe in Nigeria).

We can see that it's never about the tribe but about the human. We have had those with a bad experience with Yoruba men and we have seen those with good experience with the same tribe. It's not about the tribe but the human. We are to develop ourselves and be the best version of ourselves possible but most people won't even develop themselves and they answer to every name-calling.

You are who you are.

Thank you for your time.

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2 years ago

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Your first paragraph is the very essence of free speech, as long as done without malice and/or harm to others. The other part is that there are "tribes," if you will, throughout all countries, and where you are born, the color of your skin, or other variables that one has zero control over is absolutely no basis for judgment. Some people have a simple philosophy, you treat me like an a$$hole, and I'll treat you back with your own attitude. But some of us will not treat people badly no matter how nasty they treat us, for we have one who will judge all. You did a very good job with your post, very well written.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

This is brilliant. Thank you so much for this.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I also don't waste time to engage in debates like that, again, it's a waste of time. Most of the time than not, we can never change a person's mind once that person made up his/her mind.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly, my friend. We can't change their minds so it's pointless to drag anything with them.

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2 years ago

From the story the lady should have only experienced the best things and not any negatives from her tribe, compared to others. But it was better if she would have appreciated her tribe not saying bitter about other tribes.

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2 years ago

Exactly... She generalized which isn't nice at all.

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2 years ago

We are created equally and with same image of God so basically we are just the same.

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2 years ago

Yes, we are.

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2 years ago

Generalizing became something inevitable now adays. I was also in conversation with a friend of mine and playfully I said how about you marry me? And her response was, my dad won't accept because he told me not me marry people from your state. Lol 🤣 am I a state or I am myself,?. She kept quiet

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2 years ago

Lmao! They are both clueless...but she can receive favours from people from your state, yeah?

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2 years ago

That’s it. 😂 😂. Even the wife to her uncle is from our state ooo. 😂

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2 years ago

They are all not alright 😂😂🤣😂all those who adviced her and she herself.

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2 years ago

Helping hand, that is what the landlord did.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

What a man he is.

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2 years ago

Even if they are from tribes. They are still human..

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Exactly... It's about the human factor.

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2 years ago

This is a wrong move to generalized a bad experience she get to one person, we are all people with different opinions, beliefs, and characteristics. It's very wrong to blame the whole in one persons mistake, I don't know why there are people like this.

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2 years ago

It's surprising how some people think. Quite shocking too.

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2 years ago

Unity in diversity that's the thing I've remember when I read this content. I think humans makes it probability diminish from being unified cause a lot of people have different culture and beliefs and that's one of the reason division occurs.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

Yes, when we focus too much on race, tribe, religion and ethnicity over humanity.

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2 years ago

One of the reason humanity right now has made conflict because they have different believe. Especially those who believe in scriptures they have different sectors and much worst is that they have different interpretation of the scripture.

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2 years ago

defending something is often against the rules that are not in line with the local culture, let alone talking about the ethnicity that causes the most conflicts. This possibility is a selfish attitude that is based on an attitude of maintaining a power that does not want to fall to people who are not from their community.

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2 years ago

It's indeed unhealthy and despicable because it makes us judge people before we get to know them.

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2 years ago

I have this friend called Tunde, he can't cope with having a girl for one month. He changes girls like cloth and he blamed his first heartbreak for that kind of lifestyle and I always told him that he is a flirt.

That's the person he is, the heartbreak has nothing to do with it. We are fond of attaching something to our mistakes, faults, failure just because we don't want to agree that it is who we are.

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2 years ago

This is sweeting me. Absolutely. We blame religion and other things because we don't want to accept the choices we made. It is easier to blame others but ourselves.

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2 years ago

I feel sad when I see people bring tribe and religion into such conversation because these do not make a person to be good or bad

$ 0.02
2 years ago

Exactly...we are our own person...shaped by our choices.

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2 years ago

You're right....the lady must have heard stories of those who had a relationship aside from theirs and it failed due to one issue of the other, that must be the reason why she generalised it to every tribe,she forgot that what works for you might not work for others.

$ 0.04
2 years ago

Absolutely, Vic... It's about our actions and choices and generalization doesn't help.

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2 years ago

The landlord-tenant story reminds me a a religious riot that happened in a part of the country, whereby the follower of one of the religion saved a man and his family from his brothers who were trying to harm them. ..Indeed, there are alot good people but they are quite hard to find them. May God continue to bring them our way

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2 years ago

Amen...that's it. May we meet amazing and kind people.

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2 years ago

I don't like it when people say people from a certain tribe are this or that. forgetting that it's about an individual and not where you're from. In fact, we have bad people in every tribe or religion.

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2 years ago

God bless you Kris. Indeed, we have bad people everywhere... It's about the person and not where they come from.

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2 years ago

The lady has the right to voice her opinion, but she is so wrong to generalize what she experienced with one person to everyone. Not everyone are the same even if they come from the same tribe. There are still good people out there

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2 years ago

That's exactly my point. Thanks a lot for this.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Everyone as the right to their opinions because we don't know what they've been through or what people beside them have been through just like mentioned above. Generalization is what we shouldn't do because we are all humans and behave differently in regardless of our religion, traditions, ethnicity and colour. The heart of men is deep!

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2 years ago

Thank you so much for this, dear. Another brilliant contribution.

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2 years ago

Your welcome, I'm always happy to read your post and input in what I learned.

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2 years ago

I am happy. Thank you.

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2 years ago

That's it. No matter the reputation we hold of a certain type of people, there're always those who prove to be different. We choose to become who we are.

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2 years ago

This is beautiful. Love that line: "We choose to become who we are." It's by choice.

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2 years ago