Exposure II.

This is the second part of the post I shared yesterday and you can catch up with it here: Exposure.

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We have all been there where we confuse other people's kindness for something else. While we were in school then, we would tease each other in the room when a text comes in or a lady decided to show kindness to us. They would assume it means she is interested in you and I was guilty of that then until I decided that enough is enough... I need to stop thinking like everyone else. It has nothing to do with trust issues that would make anyone read meaning into what they shouldn't but it's about what we have been exposed to - seen, read and told over time.

The things we have been exposed to would naturally shape our thinking and this is why if we don't take deliberate steps to do things differently, we would always repeat the same mistake over and over again. This is why it is important for us to develop a better mindset and be consumed with important things rather than things that add no value. Most people would rather gossip away, reading meaning to the intentions of others rather than engage in more productive issues.

It's natural for a lady who has been exposed to constant heartbreak to think all guys are the same. Someone joked "I wonder why ladies take so long to choose a man since they always say all men are the same." Haha. Another person said, "All men are the same? Who asked you to try every man?."

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Moving on... For a lady who has been subject to constant heartbreak, it's hard for you to expect her to be objective when you are asking her for advice on your relationship. She can only give you a perspective based on the way she views things except you are sure she isn't the type that is swayed by the things she goes through.

I've had people go through a lot in relationships too and some, their partners cheated on them. Do you think such a person would want to take any lady serious except he or she decides to have an indepth understanding that it's not a gender thing but a personal thing? I've had guys tell other guys to quickly do whatever they intend to do with a lady because they believe she would still cheat and go with another guy when the opportunity presents itself. He spoke based on what he had been exposed to overtime.

What we did and the things we went through, we can say that's who we are but it doesn't have to be who we will become and that's why we need to change our lens, change our gave, change the way we perceive things and stop judging people even before we know them.

What we see, hear and experience would always build up in our heads and play on our minds but it is always left to us to decide... We always have a choice as to accepting that reality or doing better.

While growing up, you see ladies a bit reluctant to receive anything from guys because they have been told no one ever gives anything for free especially guys. I made it a point of duty to change that erroneous idea coupled to the kindness I learnt from my dad which has been infused into me. I always follow my heart and we all should too. I came to the conclusion that giving and receiving are both an art we should all learn after understanding the person we are dealing with.

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It's okay to blame those who are extra careful but no one can truly blame them because it has everything to do with what they have seen, read and heard if not experienced. Never confuse other people's kindness for hidden intentions and if you were indeed right all along, you have the right to say no to them since you didn't solicit for it in the first place. We always have a choice and that's the reality.

I just want us as humans to see past the obvious. I want us to stop assuming and start doing. So many people have refused help to others because of what they have heard or seen or read or experienced. Like I would always say, just follow your heart. You've been hurt before now and taken for granted, yes, but does that mean we have to go on living? I know it's not easy because only those who have suffered all these can truly know how deep it hurts but then, let's follow our hearts.

A little bit of kindness, a little bit of care, a little bit of consideration can go a long way and as long as you have a clear conscience enough to sleep at night, stop worrying about what others thought of your kindness.

This life is simple and we need to look past ourselves. We don't have to live based on what others would think at the expense of what our heart is telling us to do and also let's accept other people's kindness too... Giving and receiving are both arts that we need to cultivate albeit uncomfortable it might be for some. Allow someone to help you and be willing to help others too. No one can make it out in this world all alone. We need one another and let's stop making assumptions and start doing.

Thank you for your time.

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