Exposure.

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I know we all know that what we have been exposed to would always have its effect on us, whether positive or negative. We would naturally display those qualities or attributes whether we like them or not even when we can't explain how. This is why most people confuse the good gesture of others for something illicit even if that person was only trying to be friendly.

I am a playful person and most people around me know this and I know sometimes it gets confused for ulterior motives but I've come this far in life not to be swayed by the opinions of others. I can't hear the criticism over the applause because I know I can choose my gaze and focus on what I choose to focus on.

Have you ever shown kindness to others and they thought you had an ulterior motive? I can remember many cases though but let me just share these two.

There was this lady I took a bike with many years ago and she sat at the back (because most ladies are scared about having a guy sit at their back so they won't start feeling that tingling from the back from the guy - do you get? If you don't get it, just forget it. This isn't an x-rated post please hahahaha).

She got to her destination and she dropped from the back and I tapped the bike man to go just as she was about to pull out her money to pay. It all happened in split seconds and it registered in my head and I could maybe pick out some things she might be thinking. I tapped the bike man to go and she already moved close to the bike man to pay. The bike man was getting ready to move when she heard me tell the bike man that I would pay. She stood there, motionless, confused and not knowing what to expect as we moved on. I looked back and she was still on the same spot.

I felt really happy that day not because I left her confused but because I believed it meant something to her. Either she has never been used to people showing her kindness or she was expecting, "Is he going to ask for my number now?" Or she wasn't expecting that kind of kindness from someone she didn't even know or maybe she was just trying to figure out if she knew me or maybe I would explain why I did it or even tell her we know each other but the funny thing is, I don't even know her... Not her name... Nothing. I can't even remember what she looked like.

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Another instance was when I was heading to Church and I knew I was late and I hate being late so I joined online as I was rushing to Church. I was watching as I was going even till I entered the cab. If you are familiar with Ibadan, in Oyo State, you'd know that most cabs pick two passengers at the front seat, albeit inconvenient.

I was watching while I entered the cab with this young lady; Chinua - I know this one's name and you will soon know why hahaha. I was about to get to where I was going when I asked her where she was going and she mentioned it. I pulled out my money and paid for two. She said thanks but I didn't expect what was to come next. She asked which Church I was watching online and I told her and I was even heading there. Without prior notice, she said she would drop at the same place as me and she wants to come to that Church because she was new in town and she had been looking for a Church to attend and boom, we both went to Church that day. We exchanged numbers and we still chat to date.

If I had given my thoughts to what others in the cab would say, I would never have paid for that lady because most people would say you can't do such a kind act for free. They would think you have another intention behind the obvious kindness. I am only responsible for what I do not for what others think and as long as my intentions are clear... To me ( because that's all that matters), I keep moving.

I was heading to work many years ago and this woman approached me. It's obvious she was married and she complimented my jacked and I was really happy she did. As I was smiling and about to take my leave after thanking her, she ruined it by saying, "I am a tailor and I just love the design, that's all". I totally understand her because she must have been exposed to different things. Maybe she did that with someone and the person started acting somehow and I am glad it still didn't stop her from complimenting mine but we live in a world where we care about what people would say and that's based on the exposures we have had while growing up.

You can't see two adults walking together, male and female without people assuming they are dating. A lady cannot come out of a man's room without neighbours poking themselves and gesturing that she just got laid. I know our exposures would always make us doubt a lot of things but it shouldn't allow us to lose our humanity or our sanity. We can always mind our business while focusing on what's important.

I will drop the curtain here and I will share another aspect to this tomorrow. It would be brief and straight to the point just like this one. I believe if we know better then we can do better. We need to think better, act better and then do better. No one knows it all and we are learning daily as we go through life. That's the essence of living - to learn and do things differently and better.

Thank you for your time.

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