Bending Is Okay, Breaking Is Not.
I read the story of a wonderful man on Hive, Galenkp and while he was explaining the story of how he sometimes found himself in a dark place, he stated that he always manage to bring himself out of it because he got to understand that there is nothing like perfection. That's right. I gave my comment on it too and we exchanged another comment after that.
He is indeed a wise man and you would always want to learn from someone like that with every opportunity that you have. A lot of people strive for perfection and the moment they fall short, they beat themselves up for it rather than appreciate the progress they have made so far. When we focus too much on perfection, we rob ourselves of the beauty that can come out of the steps we have taken.
I have always wanted everything to be perfect and the more I strive for it the more frustrated I get because nothing can be perfect. Even the cloud has some darkness and no matter how scorching the sun might be, you will still find yourself seeing some dark patches. Life is a blend of both the good and the bad and you cannot accept the good and not sign up for the bad. It happens and that's what is called life.
Most people ask me how come I am always cheerful. Some have questioned me if I even get angry or feel down. I just laugh because you don't want to see me at my worst. I get angry, I lash out, I get moody, I feel pain and also get worried. I keep to myself sometimes and sometimes I chase people away, deliberately or not deliberately. It all depends on what I am dealing with at the moment.
I got to know that I have to be my own audience... I have to be my own cheerleader... I have to be the one that would drag myself out of whatever hole I found myself. Others may try to help me but no help would get anywhere if I didn't give my consent and work towards it. I got to know that nothing can ever be perfect and as Mr Galenkp said, I have to focus on the progress being made daily rather than the things that aren't working out.
Bending is okay but breaking is not and that's what I was able to take away from his comment. It's okay to bend but breaking is optional depending on how we approach it. Most of the time, as humans, we react to situations rather than respond to them and that sets the tone for how things pan out. I am guilty of that too as with so many others as well. A speed bump has been designed to stop you temporarily and not permanently, so it's okay to have some not so good moments because it makes us appreciate the good moments better. Maybe we meet a few bad people in life too so that when we meet the good ones we can learn to appreciate them.
He also mentioned something interesting which if everyone looked at it so well, we would understand life better and stop focusing on what's not working rather than the things we have going that is working. Light creates shadow and that same light chases that shadow away. This brings a lot into perspective because it means we have to find our own light and as we keep seeking, we can chase away the darkness.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not from the on-rushing train but with the intensity, we can use to seek out the light. The truth is, we won't always be at our best and we won't always get the situation to be perfect. You won't find a perfect person either but you can choose to see an imperfect person perfectly. It is all about how we see things; our mentality and our approach to things.
We need to prepare our minds for eventualities that would come and never allow them to define us. A lot of people see me as this happy and cheerful person but you only need to sit down and listen to the things I've been through. I know others have had it worse, I understand that some are still struggling to find their own life but it's just a bend, it's not the end (See what I did there? Hahahaha).
The end of a chapter is not the end of the book. One bad chapter is okay, as long as there are other chapters you can modify to your taste to have that thing you desire. It's okay not to be okay. Nothing is perfect, so stop beating yourself up by thinking you are doing worse than others. Don't give up and keep seeking your light since this is just a bend, you don't have to break.
We always have a choice to make regarding the things that come to us. Some situations would happen without much influence from us but there are also others we can influence, let's focus on that. We need the wisdom to accept the things we cannot change and it starts with having a positive outlook on things while building ourselves up mentally. Life will always happen, things would never be perfect but we can choose to see it as a bend and not an end nor a breaking point. If you can look up, you can get up, so don't be afraid to ask for help but you also need to help yourself above all else.
Thank you for your time.
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Indeed, we have to be flexible and adapt to what's happening to us. Focusing on bad thoughts and disappointments with oneself can be depressing so we must also think of the good things we've done. :)