Star: What Do I See Whenever I See Them?

Every night, when I don't feel alright, all I do is to go out and start staring at the sky. It's become one of my escapes to feel alright while letting my tears flow and while crying, I've been doing this for like a month now. I am stress and depressed and also my anxiety was become quite bad when 2022 entered.

Everything is not alright if you'll going to ask me, I am a good pretender so I prefer to smile and to laugh when it comes to other persons or people.

My mom keep asking me about money each day and I feel so much pressure whenever she was asking me.

The starts were shining brightly whenever there's no clouds.

• It's so good to standby outside while looking to the stars when there's no clouds. Sometimes, I just think about it that it shines brightly like us. We always shining after the storm, we start shining after the problems that we were encountering.

Do you guys noticed that sometimes we feel so down? Like no matter how we try to stay to the positive sides but still there are times that we were so down?.

Whenever I see the stars, I see Emptiness.

• It supposed to be the shiny once, but no. Whenever I see the starts I can feel the emptiness inside me that causes me to cry too much and unable to sleep all night. My mind will be full of questions, a questions that even me, my life is become so much questionable.

My common question to myself is, "Am I a retired investment plan of my parents?"

Whenever I see the stars, I see Darkness.

• I never been so happy in my life not until the love of my life came. I'm living in darkness with so much hate for myself and I'm living with it for almost a while now. Maybe, there's no exact answer why life is rough but I know I'm not the only one who's experiencing it.

Sometimes we feel darkness when we where going through something, we can't answer it directly of even correctly. It's just that the darkness we feel is the problems that we may encounter. I see stars, not in a dumb founded way just starts and they're beautiful to look at but the moon is orettier, my eyes instantly go to the moon.

I see A Million of Unknown Responsibilities.

• We, ourselves. We know that we have a lot of responsibilities that we need to overcome, we need to do and we need to consider. Being a only child makes me feel having a lot of unknown responsibilities that I still didn't figure out. I can't agree to myself, I can't do whatever I want, I can't be a childish version of me because of the unknown responsibilities that I need to answer. I know life is tough, and the only thing that I can do is to be happy and strong all the time when I'm in the middle of the storm.

Everyone of us have our responsibilities. There are times that we can't take it any longer and we all ended up breaking down. Welp, that's what life is. Sometimes you'll feel happy and sometimes you'll be feeling down.

I see the people that I've lost.

• When we were a child, our parents always telling us that when someone died they'll become a stars and all the stars that are on the skies were dead people's soul. Until now I'm still with that kind of mindset, whenever someone's close to me died all I can think is they become one of them so that they can shine brightly and they will be looks good into others eye.

And, that's where I start questioning myself, what if I died? I'll be shine as that, or I'll be one of the darkness skies when it's cloudy?

I see Sadness.

• I see myself, I see the sadness that my heart feels. I see the heavier thing that my life couldn't imagine, I see everything that causing me sadness and makes me feel sad. I can't stop thinking that, what if the stars were crying? If they were really a soul, what if the rain is made of the people who died and see their love ones crying so that they're crying also especially at night?

If it's real, then it would be nice. Since all of us experiencing the same problems that we were trying to overcome everyday.

Life were full of unknowns experiences there are times when we feel so down and unable to get up for a moment, and there are times where we feel so positive like there's no problem at all, bur whatever happens. I know life will never be easy just like what we want and what we think, and I know life will be full of the experiences where we are not wishing for. That's what life is, and we should take it just like how we really take it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Life is life, we can't make a wish for it because it will not be come true. All we can do is to trust God, and do our best instead. Maybe right now, we were struggling. But times will come where we will find peace, and where we will feel comfortable, until the rest of our life. Just hold a little longer, we'll get out of this. Especially you self.

Previous Articles:

• Alarm Clock: Does Your Alarm Clock Can Wake You Up?.

• I Love Her Because: I Love You, and I Will Always Do.

• "Confessions: Life Problems, and Struggles."

• "My Worst Junior Highschool School Year"

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