What have you stopped believing in?

Hello everyone, how are you today? It has been raining heavily over here for over two days (not continuously) and I am loving the cold weather that accompanies the rain. I used the earlier hours of today to play a game a friend recommended to me, it was recently launched earlier this week and a lot similar to call of duty ( Apex legends).

Anyways, I will be taking part in the prompt that was introduced by @Theblackdoll some days back (see her version here). The whole idea is to talk about what you were in your past and what things you did in your past that you do not do or believe anymore. So, let's get right to it.

Used to believe in the system

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The system I'm talking about is the usual school-job-money system; go to school, graduate, get a job and start making money. Back when I was a kid, I so much believed in this system and see it as having no flaws, it's a sure way to having a good life but it turned out it wasn't so straightforward.

Back then, I took schooling so seriously and will always be at the top of the class because my goal was to get into the university, graduate, and secure a job but everything changed when I finished high school. I became more exposed to life and I had my first job, although it went quite well, I realized that's not what I wanted.

It was also from there that I got to know that the system is actually very flawed; lots of graduates are jobless because apparently they believed in the system as well and thought all they just have to do is to graduate with good grades and boom! They immediately have a job, but the reality is far from that.

Luckily for me, I figured that early enough and saw the need to not fully put all hopes in the system and start looking for alternatives. And that was what influenced me to start scouring the web looking for money-making opportunities as far back as 2015. I did a lot of things online and just kept exploring, gathering information, and acquiring knowledge on how to improve myself.

The truth is, school doesn't teach you much about life, you just have to figure out a major part of life all on your own and you won't be able to do that if you're stuck under the illusion that school is all you need. I have seen people that perform excellently in school but are terrible when it comes to life.

I can't remember the number of times I have heard people talking about some of their classmates they meet after several years of graduating from the university, you will hear something like "But he was very intelligent back then in school, what now happened?" Life happened, performing brilliantly in school is no longer enough, you have to know how to navigate life and that's something school doesn't teach you.

Used to be very selfless and a people pleaser

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I am laughing right now as I remember what I used to be in the past, it's funny that I failed to see what I was doing to myself back then. I used to go the extra mile for people even to the detriment of my own needs, I could just give out everything I have to a friend even if it means I will have nothing left, I guess I was very naive back then.

I had lots of privileges as a kid and my parents always gave me lots of money as my allowance which I usually spend on food and drinks, and my friends greatly benefited from it 😆 sometimes I will buy something to eat and they will ask me to give them some but I will be like; "why do that when I can just buy for everyone?", And with that, I will order the same thing for all of them even if it means I will have no money left.

It went on like that until my parents started complaining that I am spending money too much; the allowance that is supposed to be for a week will get finished in about 2 days. They ended up reducing my allowance very much that it even made me weep 😂 my so-called friends started drifting away from me because I could no longer afford most things, and I started feeling a bit depressed.

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Do you know what's worse? I started blaming myself for how my friends started treating me! 😂 I was wishing I had more money so I could buy myself back into their group, I was truly naive and stupid back then but that experience taught me something very valuable: always put yourself first because people are still going to disappoint you even if you are nice.

You can cut off your right hand for a person and they will still complain that you cut off the wrong one, there's just no pleasing everybody. I am happy that I figured that out early enough and I just stopped trying to please people, it did a lot in improving my mental health and I feel very free because I know I owe nothing to anybody.

These days I just do something because I want to and not because I want to be validated by someone, unlike what I used to do in the past when I will be like "oh, I am sure he/she will really like this, let me do it the way they want". Honestly, it's the best feeling when you do things you want to without feeling like you're offending someone out there, because no matter what you do you're always going to offend one person out there, so why not just do it your own way? You just have to realize that you can't please everybody, knowing that will make it easier to not seek anybody's validation or acceptance.

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Conclusion

Writing this article has actually given me a moment of self-realization and reaffirmed some of my new beliefs, I have weighed the whole thing and discovered I so much love the way I am right now compared to who I was in the past, I seriously cringed as I kept remembering what I was in the past, it's embarrassing 😆.

I seriously recommend that everyone take part in this prompt and have a moment of self-reflection and look at aspects of your life that have changed over the years. The great thing about doing this is that you might not only discover the negative things that were holding you down before, you may likely realize the positive ones you have forgotten over the years, and it may turn out that your old self was the better version but you won't know until you have taken the time to think about it. 😉

Thanks for reading 💖💖💖

Wednesday May 18, 2022