Used to, Not anymore!! - A Prompt Idea!!

Go to school, get yourself nice education, so that you can work once you are an adult...

These are the things that we hear from almost all the parents across cultures in our life.. Sadly, the things that actually matters in life are not taught by schools but we have to learn on our own by suffering in continuous problems that life throws us. The silver lining though is the valuable lessons we learn during our journey in life..

Did you ever take a moment in your life and stop doing everything and think about the difference between the "current you" and the "past you"?.. if not, then do it now.. As you read this post, just think about how different your life was and is now.. certain things we believed as a child won't even matter now.. our thoughts, our choices and everything we did like few years ago seems so stupid and silly to us isn't it? When I think about my life a decade before, the first thing I think was "yuck, I cannot believe I did that" and I cringe so hard..

Prompt Idea: here's an idea for everyone who wants some idea about what to write next, sit down and do nothing for few minutes and think about what you were in your past and what things you did in your past that you do not do or believe anymore... Make a post about it, trust me when I say this, your post will help at least one soul that is lost and need guidance.. because stem education is not from schools, but from life...

Going to my life lessons I have learned from past.. I will mention few important ones that I learned from my life.. I used to do and be these things, but eff no!!!! not anymore...

Don't Know A Thing about Self Love:

If there is something I have learned in this life, that is how important and valuable self love is... emphasis on the word "important". This is something I keep telling all the young people I meet in my life right now to realize how valuable it is to love yourself wholly completely before loving others.. you need to put your energy into yourself fully before showing it on others.

• If you have self love, you will take care of your soul, mind and body. you will have good habits, cleanliness and humbleness in your life. You would be a kind soul and help others in need.

• If you love yourself, you will feed yourself good food and take care of yourself... and if someone gives you hard time about how obsessed you are on yourself, you would not care because you love yourself.

• if you love yourself enough, you do not give one damn about what others think about you or your life and thus living a confident life...

I used to hate certain things about myself, especially physically. I always thought myself as the ugly duckling because of my glasses and never tried to shine bright, not even to my own eyes.. It took me 30 years to realize nothing matters at the end... The true things that matters is how you see yourself and not others. Something I always regret not learning sooner... but I'm glad, now I know!!

Always Put other's Happiness Before Mine:

Oh my god, where do I start?? I'm a living breathing example of "not prioritizing myself and facing consequences later"..

But what do I do?? if you are born in India and especially as a female, you would be brainwashed from your birth that you were born to serve the male members of the family, you should obey your elder's instructions even if destroys your life because apparently, they know everything just because they were born few years before you did...

I got married because others wanted so... I gave birth because others wanted so.. Not a day goes by me regretting my decisions to make others happy and think that I'm born to prioritize them or obligated to them because they are my family...

WRONG, ladies and gentlemen!!

Just because somebody gave birth to you, just because you are a sibling or relative to somebody DOES NOT mean you are obligated to make them happy... God gave you YOUR OWN LIFE... YOUR OWN FREE WILL AND ABILITY TO THINK.. the one person you need to make happy is YOU.. not anybody else, including your parents or grand parents...

I do not mean this in a rude insensitive way.. life is all about compromises, I agree to that.. but when compromises could destroy your freedom and happiness, THEY ARE NOT WORTH IT!!..

Now that I learned to put myself first, I'm doing much better at life and at peace compared to my younger self...

Thought other's Validation is Important!!

The meaning of validation is "approval".. I know for a fact that all of us had did this or still doing it.. I'm leaning towards the later side because I know most of you do this still...

From my childhood, I had always believed that I needed validation from other's about my activities, successes and even thoughts. I always thought I was not good enough until somebody appreciated me or approved me.

• Getting good grades and attending school regularly was not making me happy until somebody recognized that!!!

• Dressing up for myself and making me look nice never brought me happiness until somebody complimented me on my outfit or makeup or something...

• I never used to appreciate my character and personality until somebody approved my decisions and choices..

• I used to believe I'm actually what others perceive me...I'm only valuable of what others value me

I always lived in the shadow of my brother who was by the way a topper in school and everything he touched, became gold.. But I was an average student who just passed each grade with a B max.. I thought I was never good enough or smart enough and always lived with an expectation that one of my parent says something good about me (which never happened until now).. I never realized how wrong I was about it..

Once I became depressed and suicidal, I suddenly got an Epiphany about life and it's truth that whom am I trying to impress?? if they give me compliments, why does it matter? if they call me ugly, why does it matter??? I MEAN, WHY THE EFF IT MATTER IN FIRST PLACE??

Right now, I just do not care... It helped me boost my confidence back and stop giving friks about other's opinions and validations.

To Not Mind My Own Business:

Do you believe when I say there are people out there who go out of their way to help or advice others even if others do not ask and when time comes that these kind people need help, nobody gives a shit about them???

Yeah, that's me all my life...

Nope... absolutely got nothing back in my life from those who used me until all my juices are done... I'm a person who is like, if I promise you to do it, I will do it, let the world collapse or Sun never rise or cyclones hit... but I will fulfill my promise for you.. I'm loyal and committed in that way.. I do not even needed to ask for help because I'm kind of face reader. I know when people are sad or bothered. I have had always extended my hands towards them even if they never asked me to.. I also do not ask help of others easily.. but on the rare occasions I did, everyone turned their backs towards me except few friends to whom I'm so thankful for...

Relatives who always seem to have their noses in my life do not even show up or call when I had life threatening situations.. but friends did... this is something I learned.. stop caring about your relatives who just care about you when you have money or fame... true relationship are those people who show up to help you when you do not have anything...

I still to this day have not able to overcome this problem of me.. I still help people, I still give them good advises, I still make time for people who want to talk to me, but what changed? is the fact that I stopped expecting because trust me, "Karma always hits back".. when you help, your help will come back to you in anyway shape or form...

These are the most important life lessons I teach to my daughter from her young age... I also tell her everyday that she is a pretty girl and if someone calls her ugly, not to believe that.....additionally to this, I also ask her to never to show weakness to others, they will literally either sit or you or, pretend that they care about it and use the information against you in your future from the time they do not need you... humans are mostly dangerous and not to be trusted... they only one you need to trust is YOURSELF and GOD...

What are the things you were doing in your life that you do not do anymore you guys?? let me know in your posts...

Love you my kind sponsors :)

Yours @Theblackdoll