Day 7 of 365 – the feeling of powerlessness

7th of January 2022

Lead Image

"Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest"- Matthew 11.28

Writing today is a real struggle for me, I’ve got no inspiration, my brain is basically empty and I got no idea where to begin from. Today’s article is meant to be one based on research just like yesterday’s where I made a list of Ten scariest places you shouldn’t visit, it took a very long time to write because I had to take time to read, watch several videos, explore the internet and had to compile those names based on my opinion. It was a fun, exciting experience but simultaneously stressful. I think it took about 5 to 6 hours to successfully compile this list after which I was drained and didn’t feel like doing anything else but sleep. Unfortunately, sleep wasn’t an option because I had a whole lot of work before me and couldn’t ignore them or they’d pile up into something greater. Today I was considering doing a list of “the most beautiful places I think you should visit” or perhaps “creepiest places on earth” as suggested by @Codename_Chikakiku but yesterday’s stress was too much for my body to handle. I’m still struggling with lack of power supply as mentioned in “Day 5- a little bit of disappointment”, hence I had to travel a really long distance for me to access electricity, while also spending a lot of money on transportation. I had to leave home as early as 9 am (early for me) while facing the dusty road with nothing but a face mask. I got to my destination a few minutes past 10 am, after which I had to speedily edit yesterday’s article and made minor adjustments which included attaching pictures from the internet while citing them in each case- a special way of giving credit to the image owners since I’m basically using their images for free. Completed the article a few minutes past 11 am after which I published it and the real work started because I had to monitor my trades while simultaneously interacting with peeps here on read.cash, had to reply important emails and checked some updates on noise.cash as well. I’ve been replying to the same thread on noise.cash for the past 4 to 5 days; I’m being tutored on the game play mechanics of Splinterlands hence I’d have to go to noise.cash each time to reply the response to my previous question while also responding with a “thank you” and go ahead with any new question I’ve got. All together it’s a fun experience but a very stressful one because I mostly forget to take breakfast until late afternoon or so. In fact, girlfriend is beginning to complain, and we had a little argument regarding this about two days ago and this morning. Girl friend = friend that is a girl and not lover, I haven’t got none. Still waiting for the right time after which I’d travel to the Philippines for my dear crush @Ayane-chan.

Yesterday was a upper stressful day, apart from engaging in all things mentioned above, I also had to visit one of our apartments to check out the well being of the tenants and bla bla, one of the tenants contacted me via phone call that she had issues with her electricity and that her neighbours (in the same compound) were not willing to make payment hence she wants them disconnected (It’s a complicated story hence you may not understand), I had to go there to see things for myself so all things could be sorted out, had to search for a very good electrician as well so they could solve the problem at hand. In fact, I’m still going there today because the gate needs to be re-painted, I already contacted a painter and we agreed on a price already, he wouldn’t be for another two weeks but it’s not a problem since we’ve known each other for a long time, and he’s already known to deliver perfectly without issues. Other repairs need to be done in the apartment as well, these would cost a lot of time and money but if I do not make sacrifices there would be no one to do it for me. Going here and there has been my watchword lately and it’s really tiring. I sometimes wish I could run away from it all but that would be me running away from my responsibilities- a very bad way of being a Man. I got home few minutes past 9 pm last night, feeling tired, in fact too tired to have dinner- I simply got home, landed on bed and drifted away. I woke up feeling extremely tired this morning and didn’t feel like doing anything. I simply had to force myself out of bed about few minutes past 9 am, I picked up my phone to see multiple missed calls, but I was too tired to even hear my phone ring from my sleep. At the time of writing, I feel like going back to sleep but it would be disadvantageous for me because a lot of work needs to be done and they’re simply inevitable. Today’s article is meant to be different from this but sometimes things just do not go our way, nature has a greater plan called tiredness and fatigue, hence I had to settle for this rant called an article.

Closing thoughts

I feel powerless towards everything, the stress is simply inevitable and running away would mean I’m neglecting my responsibilities. In fact, running away is a wrong move because in the end I’m still gonna have to come back to it as no one would do it for me. We’ve all got responsibilities which we sometimes ignore in a bid to have some fun and perhaps relax, truth is these responsibilities will always find a way to get back to us, hence it’s better to face it as soon as it comes- it may be tiring and exhausting but, in the end, you’d be glad you did. There’s this special feeling of powerlessness which we get whenever we go through challenges and a hall of stress, rage which makes good men cruel and bla bla, we need to realise that these things are inevitable, and we can’t do without them as long as we’re alive. We simply need to learn to not allow those challenges influence how we react, treat people around us. Our challenged need not define us or influence our decisions but make us stronger.

I feel powerless towards everything, today is another day- I begin again!