Striped naked defenseless against my love was my interpretation

"God is the only one capable of coloring us gorgeous for himself so when we find this sin on others this article is not encouraging us to be less disgusted, it's more reminding us that our hearts aren't immune to the same type of condition. There is a very thin line between being the christians that he commands and the criminals that we condemn."

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I was an addict

Well I always believed what I entered into couldn't be broken, before then it was good. I longed to dive into the fragments of my mind and thoughts, I knew I was obsessed with the idea of the beauty and pleasure that was present yet I pursued it in an endless route.

I never realised how great I truly was, the changing process happened far back than I could remember. I would have been obedient but I was stripped naked and completely defenseless against my will and love for what I faced.

Interpretation

My interpretation was far beyond my reasoning, I was locked and crafted to my body as the superiority. When I began on a quest to get my senses back, I kept drowning and wallowing in disgust even to my self.

The stench set me apart for a while but wouldn't let me be free, it turned into fragrance in the night and a stench during the day.

I was caged and never moved on to be what I wanted to be, of good service and humility to God. I was told as a message never to look the other way but I was completely disobedient. My curiosity for more traced me to my disappointments not knowing the risk behind disappointment, I couldn't walk among my friends, I couldn't see the light, I stayed completely in darkness wallowing in self pity.

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Indeed, I felt helpless and trusted no one even God to create in me a new portrait and a new Freedom and strength. It was good, it was wonderful, it was sweet, it was tasty, told myself when I always had issues that my solutions was to go back and continue.

People never realize how great they are and Just in a moment of unbelieve they fall back to their mind.without God it will be impossible to really break through, firstly we need to understand it's our nature to be in that position.

And the only way is in the gradual steps to coming off of it, through praying and studying.

I was free in the physical to be every thing I wanted to be in that space of continuity, to embrace the hurt and agony, to bow down and worship sin and corruptions of this world.

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I tasted the lie, now I taste for new life. God wants us to be closer drawn to him, he can create a different picture of us and he has it in his palms. He is waiting for us to run back to me.

Several years of struggling later, I realised that this dosent make me happy but it made me cry and weep everyday. The first attempt to stop it was when i fell back in 100 percent, the continuous attempts made me more pulled into it.

I never knew addiction makes you lifeless, it eats up what is left in you and you become lifeless, nobody sees you that way but you do. It never dawn on me that I was in a cage and never free to who I wanted to be. My social life ceased, my relationship shattered, my communication muted, my inspiration crumbled, my reasoning level dropped, my health diminished. I can't keep naming all for I know you understand what a life wasted.

Then I realised that I can draw my life again even though I have missed the masters puzzle for my life, but I know I can choke the grace out once more and it would work for me. Addiction can be cold-blooded, it consumes and conjures you into insanity.

I went to church acting like I hadn't done something privately that no one knows about in the open, just between me and God. But deep down I was confused looking for answers for questions I never asked.

I had to move closer to God, and reKindle the fire that was burning a long time ago, it only took a short process of rededicating my life back to God, through speaking to him.

My ways needs to be orchestrated back to serving him diligently, anytime i felt like going back, I looked for an escape. For every sin there will always be a way of escape, you have to find what it is.

It did work for me and through prayers it was completely broken.

I wouldn't want to disclose what I went through, but you also can become an overcomer and become free from Addiction, I was defenseless for several years. But with God all things are possible so look on the brighter side of redemption and you shall find Grace. God bless you.

Thanks to my legendary legend new sponsor @Jane may God bless you for what you do and I'm so grateful.

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Thank you for your time.

Bye for now.

|28 July 2021|